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Discussion Starter #1
I am curious if your dcs call adults Mr/Miss "first name". At the playgroup I just joined this is what the adults do. This is a small group of five other families who have been friends for a while and I have recently joined them. I noticed that when a dc calls another adult by only the first name the parent quickly corrects the dc and has them repeat themself using Miss/Mr. I haven't seen an adult correcting another child but it hasn't happened very often and the dcs are 2-ish and not really into calling anybody by their name. I never planned on doing this and it feels really odd (can't quite explain it) to enforce my dc using Mr/Miss first name. If there was someone that I called Mr/Miss/Mrs/Ms then of course dc would too, that is what he would here us say.<br><br>
Oh, and if you do insist your dc does this what is the reasoning?<br>
At one of the playgroups one mom was talking with another about how it was important because using Miss/Mr teaches them to respect adults. I don't know, I have mixed feelings about this. I guess it could teach respect but aren't there a zillion other ways to model/teach/learn respect. Then again I guess you could say that with anything... Sorry for the rambling....<br><br>
One last thing, they are all former teachers and maybe that has something to do with it? Being used to having children call them Mrs._______.<br><br>
Ok, really, one last thing - for real this time!! <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/lol.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="lol"> I am posting here instead of the toddler forum because I think 3 & up would be more likely to use names more often than toddlers.<br><br>
Thanks!<br>
SJ
 

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I think that's regional. I can't imagine someone from the northeast would be comfortable being called Miss FIrstname or Mr. Firstname. That's a Southern thing, am I correct?<br><br>
Personally, I'm all for last names for everyone. I looooooove formality. I want you to call me Mrs. Lastname unless we're hangout-friends, your kids to call me Mrs. Lastname, my doctor to call me Mrs. Lastname, and so on. But culturally, everyone seems to just call me by my first name. Kids and adults. I wish they wouldn't, but what can you do? It's the way things are these days. It bothers me a lot less when kids call me just plain Firstname than when adults do it, though. Being called Mrs. (or Miz... echhh...) Firstname would just be plain weird to me.<br><br>
I might feel differently if I lived in a part of the US where such a thing was common.
 

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My kiddos use Mr./ Mrs. unless directed otherwise.<br><br>
If I'm close friends with someone, they use thier first name.<br><br>
I, personally, don't like it when ds' school friends call me by my first name. <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="/img/vbsmilies/smilies/duck.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="Duck">:
 

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Discussion Starter #4
After reading your post, Individuation, I realized that I usually do ask my friends what they want my dcs to call them. All of them, except the play group moms usually say their first name. Well, now that I think about it I never asked them but it was pretty obvious that in playgroup the adults are Miss/Mr first name. I guess it isn't any different since obviously they want to be called Miss First Name. To be honest I'd rather be called by my first name but nobody asked <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/shrug.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="shrug"><br><br>
What do you do when you want to be called one thing but a parent wants their dcs to call you something else? What about in mixed company where some parents want Mr/Miss/Mrs last name some want Mr/Miss first name and others do what the person the dc is speaking to prefers?<br><br>
Still interested in what other families do.
 

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Discussion Starter #5
OT: This reminds me that I HATE it when I am at the grocery store and I am called Miss Last Name. HELLO - I have a wedding ring on I am married!! I guess I could see how you could miss it but I think I would look or go with Ms. Even before I was married I preferred Ms to Miss when I was working in the corporate world. To me Miss is a young woman/girl in her teens or younger. Sorry for the rant but this drives me crazy when my last name is involved!!
 

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My kids use Mr./Mrs. Last Name until invited to do otherwise.
 

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Hmm. My DS does just call adults by their first names (no Mr or Mrs.), with just a couple of exceptions. There are a couple of older couples near us, and I always refer to them as Mr and Mrs So and So, just because they're quite a bit older than I am.<br><br>
Otherwise, I think it's a regional thing. Everyone I know here does the same as I do. I can't imagine a friend's child calling me Mrs. So and So!<br><br>
If a parent wanted their child to call me something other than my first name, I'd defer to what the parents wanted, as that would be the more formal way. If we were with someone who wanted to be called Mrs. First Name or Mrs. Last Name, I'd have DC do so.
 

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My kids are older, so they understand. I don't remember what I did when they were younger.<br><br><br>
Personally - I don't like Miss first name. It bugs me. <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="/img/vbsmilies/smilies/duck.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="Duck">:<br><br>
Also, I do what the parent wants me to do.<br><br>
I didn't realize I had so many opinions regarding this topic. <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/lol.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="lol">
 

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<div>Originally Posted by <strong>MissSJ</strong> <a href="/community/forum/post/7963037"><img alt="View Post" class="inlineimg" src="/community/img/forum/go_quote.gif" style="border:0px solid;"></a></div>
<div style="font-style:italic;">OT: This reminds me that I HATE it when I am at the grocery store and I am called Miss Last Name. HELLO - I have a wedding ring on I am married!! I guess I could see how you could miss it but I think I would look or go with Ms. Even before I was married I preferred Ms to Miss when I was working in the corporate world. To me Miss is a young woman/girl in her teens or younger. Sorry for the rant but this drives me crazy when my last name is involved!!</div>
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This is funny - because I'm divorced and I go by Ms. - I'm a teacher and when my students email me and use Mrs. last name - it makes me crazy!!!!
 

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I always ask people what they want my child to call them. Most of our friends want to be called by their first name or Miss/Ms/Mr first name. I think that's partially generational and partially regional (we live in the Mid-Atlantic). If somebody wishes to be called something else, that's what I tell my child their name is and that's how we refer to them.<br><br>
My reason: I believe that it's most respectful to call people what THEY want to be called. So we find out what they like, and we act accordingly. <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/smile.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="smile"><br><br><br>
I prefer to be called by my first name and it bothers me when parents insist their children call me by my last name, even after learning my preference. What's even worse is when they insist on calling me by my husband's last name - we have different last names. I am NOT Mrs. HisLastName. It drives me nuts when people assume I have his last name, and more nuts when they KNOW I don't but call me that anyway. Grrr.
 

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My kids use Mr/Mrs Lastname. They are not my adult friend's peers, so the form of address is different. Just like if I'm talking to a doctor or minister - I use the appropriate title. For me it's about children respecting their elders (and yes, this is only one small way to show respect).<br><br>
A lot of mom's here do the Miss Firstname thing, though. It makes me crazy. For one thing, I'm married. For another, it makes me feel like their servant to be called "Miss Kristin". And "Mrs Kristin" just sounds really weird. I don't correct the child, though for calling me that - they're just doing what they're taught. If they're my good friend's kids, though (who are also taught to use Mrs Lastname), I might raise my eyebrow if they address me by my first name, but I wouldn't correct them or ignore them.<br><br>
Kristin<br>
mom to dd (5 1/2), ds (almost 3!) and #3 due in June
 

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I want my children to use mr/ms./mrs with any adult they know or meet other than relatives or close family friends, I would hope that their friends call me by mrs. last name maybe I'm old fashioned but that is what I was taught and it was a great privaledge to be told one day "you have grown into a lady yourself, please call me first name by my mom's friends. It was a right of passage for me.<br><br>
The public school I want to send my children to use mr/ms/mrs and first name, I don't know how I am going to deal with that one, but we will...
 

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<div>Originally Posted by <strong>hubris</strong> <a href="/community/forum/post/7963220"><img alt="View Post" class="inlineimg" src="/community/img/forum/go_quote.gif" style="border:0px solid;"></a></div>
<div style="font-style:italic;">I always ask people what they want my child to call them. Most of our friends want to be called by their first name or Miss/Ms/Mr first name. I think that's partially generational and partially regional (we live in the Mid-Atlantic). If somebody wishes to be called something else, that's what I tell my child their name is and that's how we refer to them.<br><br>
My reason: I believe that it's most respectful to call people what THEY want to be called. So we find out what they like, and we act accordingly. <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/smile.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="smile"><br><br><br>
I prefer to be called by my first name and it bothers me when parents insist their children call me by my last name, even after learning my preference. What's even worse is when they insist on calling me by my husband's last name - we have different last names. I am NOT Mrs. HisLastName. It drives me nuts when people assume I have his last name, and more nuts when they KNOW I don't but call me that anyway. Grrr.</div>
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Exactly me, except i live in MI.
 

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Discussion Starter #14
For those of you that prefer your dcs to use Mr/Miss/Mrs/Ms last name what do you do if an adult says - please call me first name? Just curious.<br><br>
Slightly OT: After I was in the military and then transitioned into a contractor position working in the same place with the same people I always addressed people by their military titles (as I should have). After some people retired from the military they asked me to call them by their first name but I just couldn't do it, particularly a few that I had known for a long time. Do you think it was rude of me to continue calling them one thing when they asked me to use their first name?
 

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<div>Originally Posted by <strong>MissSJ</strong> <a href="/community/forum/post/7963287"><img alt="View Post" class="inlineimg" src="/community/img/forum/go_quote.gif" style="border:0px solid;"></a></div>
<div style="font-style:italic;">For those of you that prefer your dcs to use Mr/Miss/Mrs/Ms last name what do you do if an adult says - please call me first name? Just curious.</div>
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At that point, IMO, the child has been invited to be on a first-name basis with the adult and therefore is free to call them by their first name. I don't think <i>children</i> should have to call adults Mr/Ms Lastname per se, I think that <i>everyone</i> should use last names until and unless invited to do otherwise.
 

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<table border="0" cellpadding="6" cellspacing="0" width="99%"><tr><td class="alt2" style="border:1px inset;">
<div>Originally Posted by <strong>hubris</strong> <a href="/community/forum/post/7963220"><img alt="View Post" class="inlineimg" src="/community/img/forum/go_quote.gif" style="border:0px solid;"></a></div>
<div style="font-style:italic;">What's even worse is when they insist on calling me by my husband's last name - we have different last names. I am NOT Mrs. HisLastName. It drives me nuts when people assume I have his last name, and more nuts when they KNOW I don't but call me that anyway. Grrr.</div>
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I actually know someone who insists her kids call everyone "Mr or Mrs Lastname." My not sharing a name with my husband completely baffled her. She called me "Mrs. MyLastName," but that wasn't right... etc.<br><br>
When dd was little, the kids all called me "Sarabeth's Mom." I prefer to be Michelle, and I usually tell kids they can call me that. When I first started helping out in DD's class, the teacher would call me "Mrs. HisLastName" and I wouldn't respond - not to be rude, but because it really doesn't dawn on me she's talking to me! The kids were mildly confused when she'd say "go to Mrs. MyLastName" because they're not familiar with that name, since dd is "Sarabeth HisLastName." They caught on quickly, though.<br><br>
The only place I've had dd use "Miss Firstname" is at a daycare where that was their way of doing things.<br><br>
-Michelle
 

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<table border="0" cellpadding="6" cellspacing="0" width="99%"><tr><td class="alt2" style="border:1px inset;">
<div>Originally Posted by <strong>hubris</strong> <a href="/community/forum/post/7963220"><img alt="View Post" class="inlineimg" src="/community/img/forum/go_quote.gif" style="border:0px solid;"></a></div>
<div style="font-style:italic;">I prefer to be called by my first name and it bothers me when parents insist their children call me by my last name, even after learning my preference. What's even worse is when they insist on calling me by my husband's last name - we have different last names. I am NOT Mrs. HisLastName. It drives me nuts when people assume I have his last name, and more nuts when they KNOW I don't but call me that anyway. Grrr.</div>
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This is why the kids in the neighborhood call me Mrs. First Name. Our last names are different, and I'd much rather be called Mrs. Lynn than Mrs. X (which isn't my last name!)
 

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It's Mr or Miss FirstName here. It's very much a regional thing and I would be offended if my children called an adult by just their first name. My dd will be going to kindy in the fall and the list of possible teachers we were given were all listed as Mrs or Ms. LastName. Calling adults Mr/Mrs./Ms LastName works well too as that is what I was raised to do in MI. After living in the south as long as I have kids calling adults by just their first name sounds very rude to me. I have corrected my dd when she called an adult by just their first name.
 

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First names. Formal titles strictly for adults by children squicks me out.
 

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Discussion Starter #20
Wow, I'm surprised that there aren't more people that use just first names. Have I been living under a rock? <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/lol.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="lol"> When I was growing up my family and my immediate neighbors all adults went by first names except for the few elderly people in my neighborhood who were Mr/Mrs last name. BTW I grew up in OH and now live in CO. I think we will continue to ask people what they wish to be called and go along with the Miss first name at play group. I just don't know what I'll think if another mom corrects DS if he forgets "Miss". Anyone else want to chime in?
 
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