[bmcneal]

We may be moving soon, into a 2 bedroom place. We have a DD, 3 years, and a DS, 3 months. Since apparently all aunts/uncles/grandparents have a say in how children are raised, my mom and sisters have told me that this place will be good "for a few years, but you'll need to move so the kids can have their own rooms." I don't think there is anything wrong with DD and DS sharing a room *until/unless one of them expresses wanting/needing their own room.* I told my mom that, and she looked at me like I had 3 heads. I honestly don't see making something like that a problem. (Because I don't see either of them really caring one way or the other.) Am I just disgustingly naive, and there is something inappropriate about a boy and a girl sharing a room, or are they just being very, um... I don't know what word I'm looking for?

 

[Whistler]

My DD and DS shared a room until this year. They started keeping each other awake so I moved them.

I don't see it as a problem when they are young but I don't think teens ought to be different genders in the same room.

FWIW, when we licensed for foster care, CPS said that after age 5, foster kids were not allowed to share a room if they are different genders. This doesn't apply to kids who are not wards of the State but I thought it seemed like a good guideline.

 

[chick]

my dds (13 and 2.5) don't share a room but if we had another (unlikely!) the younger 2 would have to share.

I shared with my sis (6 years older) until we were 8 and 14 through necessity - our elder brothers had their own rooms until they left home. i actually remember feeling a bit lonely when I got my own room!

 

[Flower of Bliss]

Through the baby, toddler, and youngish child years, I think sharing a bedroom with mixed genders is absolutely fine. Your DD, as the older child, may get quite frustrated at 6 when her 3 year old brother is getting into all of her "big girl" things, but that's a surmountable problem for sure.

I would personally prefer not have mixed gendered children sharing a bedroom into puberty if I had a choice in the matter. As the kids reach puberty-ish age, I imagine they'll start to want more personal space. Even then, however, I don't think sharing rooms will be the end of the world as long as you work out ways for them to have some privacy. They can dress in a bathroom or closet, etc.

 

[34me]

My ds and dd shared a room until he was 4 and she was 6. And my 2 boys have shared ever since.

 

[lamairs81]

My DDs share a room while my DS has one of his own. Once my SIL moves in with us her DD will share a room with my girls & her DS will share rooms with my son. I didn't know until recently, but it is actually illegal for children of the opposite gender to share a room past the age of 5 in MI. I personally would find it a little weird to have girls & boys share a room much past this age, although two of my cousins grew up with nothing but an office divider between their "rooms" upstairs and to get to Susan's room you had to pass through Jim's. As far as I know it was never a problem.

 

[Flower of Bliss]

Quote:

Originally Posted by lamairs81 I didn't know until recently, but it is actually illegal for children of the opposite gender to share a room past the age of 5 in MI.

Do you have a link for this law? It sounds like making poverty illegal. I can't imagine legislation like this passing. Not everyone can afford to live in a 3+ bedroom home for a family of 4. That certainly doesn't mean that they shouldn't be allowed to live as a family. I can see a law like this applying to foster kids, but not all kids.

 

[Llyra]

I have my three all in the same room. But I'm planning on moving when the twins approach school age, because I do think that once DS is about five, it's more appropriate for him to sleep away from the girls, mostly because I'm sending them to school, and I don't want nosy people getting into our business.

There are usually laws on the books about landlords renting to families with children, that there has to be enough bedrooms for mixed gender children to sleep separately, and for opposite gender parents and children to sleep separate from each other. The details are different often locally; here's it's a municipal ordinance and applies to children over 18 months, but it's very rarely enforced. It's meant to prevent tenement-style overcrowding.

FWIW, here at least it's not illegal for them to sleep together. It's illegal for there to be so few rooms that they MUST sleep together.

 

[mamadelbosque]

Right now we all sleep in the same room, but will be moving DS to "his" room here shortly... and eventually that'll be both his & DS2's bedroom, assuming we're still living here in another couple years!

 

[AllisonR]

I am trying to get my 4.5 yo DS and 2.5 yo DD to sleep together! DD wants to sleep with us, or in her own room, but DS would love the company. On the rare occasions when they do sleep together, they sleep so well and peacefully. And when they wake each other up the next morning they are always so sweet and kind with each other. They usually "sneak" downstairs and turn on the computer and play.

I'm sure one day one or the other will want privacy. But neither give a hoot right now. OP, I don't think you've got three heads.

 

[ani'smommy]

Quote:

Originally Posted by Flower of Bliss Do you have a link for this law? It sounds like making poverty illegal. I can't imagine legislation like this passing. Not everyone can afford to live in a 3+ bedroom home for a family of 4. That certainly doesn't mean that they shouldn't be allowed to live as a family. I can see a law like this applying to foster kids, but not all kids.

I think she's saying this is the law for wards of the state. . .

 

[elmh23]

My dd, 4, and ds, 2, share a room. We're planning on keeping this set up until dd is 6ish.