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I was reading an AP-friendly website and noticed where several people were saying that their older children (ages 5, 6, 7...) still did not STTN. This totally freaks me out - I guess b/c I am going through a rough sleep patch with my 20 month old, and also because we are planning to TTC very soon. I am just not sure that I can handle this!!
 

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My older ones all usually STTN except in cases of illness. The five year old still sleeps with either me or dh. They wake up, of course, but go back to sleep without coming to us(like I said, barring illness or perhaps a bad dream). I think it's actually been years since the oldest has gotten me up at night. And this is the child that used to nurse every 20-45 minutes all. night. long. The last time the 7 yo had me up at night was during an ear infection/rupture, when he was having excruciating ear pain right before the rupture, poor baby.<br><br>
Plus, it's a totally different type of nighttime parenting when they are older. Depending on their age and abilities, they might need a drink of water or help going potty. Or perhaps they just want to climb in bed with mom and/or dad. Then you all go back to sleep. It's really not a big disruption. Not even in the same ballpark as a baby/toddler! LOL
 

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After Dylan moved to his own room (age 4), he would come in and snuggle for 20-30 minutes in the middle of the night then go back to his room. Not every night. Sometimes he would go months in between. I would wake up to see him standing by the bed. He would get in, snuggle, and go back all without me really waking up. Most of the time neither one of us would say a word. And I never had to go with him back to his bed. It was like he just needed to touch base once in a while. He hasn't done it in years (he's 12 now).<br><br>
Angela would wake up the whole household with her night terrors for years. They finally tapered off and quit by the time she was 12. Not the same thing, though.<br><br>
And Joy isn't STTN now. But then she has a 16 mo who has been cutting teeth for the last 4-6 months. Parker has the 8 front teeth and is now working on molars.
 

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Whew, thank you! I was about to have a meltdown after I read that on the other website. What you describe seems manageable.
 

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Our DD1 will be 4 at the end of the month. She did not sleep through the night (or fall asleep on her own) until at least 2.5. She was closer to three before she did either of those things consistantly. Now she is much easier to get to sleep and she stays down all night, every night.
 

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Dd has always been a kid to sleep at night. She sttn now (5.5yrs old) BUT, when she was in her own room she did NOT. She was up every night. That was a big reason I did not discourage her move back to our bed.<br><br>
-Angela
 

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7 year old ds sleeps through the night, every night. A handful of times he has gotten out of bed and come into bed with us b/c something scared him, but I don't count that, he just goes right back to sleep in my bed and I kind of like it b/c the older they get the less they need you. (well, they still need you but not like a baby or toddler needs you, it's different)
 

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It depends on what you mean by sleeping through the night. All of mine sleep in their own beds, fall asleep alone, and sleep all night most nights. But they are frequently awake at least once during the night. DD1 gets up at night to pee at least once, which I'm thrilled about because she's got bedwetting issues, and sometimes she needs a little help because she gets all disoriented when she's half asleep and trying to get back into her pjs and stuff. And my twins are 3. They mostly don't need me during the night, but sometimes they have nightmares or are uncomfortable or thirsty, and need a little help for a few minutes. And of course they need me at night when they're sick, too. Sometimes, too, I hear them awake in there talking to each other, but they don't call out for me, so I don't need to go in there. It's really manageable, and nothing compared to what it's like to have a frequently-waking baby in the house. I'd say I'm probably up at night about three times a week, for less than five minutes each time. And often, DH gets up instead, so I'm probably up even less than that some weeks. No big deal, really!
 

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DS #1 will be 4 in 2 weeks. As an infant/toddler he nursed all.night.long. For about the last 6 months he has been sleeping through the night in his own bed most nights. He doesn't fall asleep on his own. Dh or I lay with him until he falls asleep. It hasn't been an issue though because we enjoy our bedtime routine of books and snuggling to sleep. Although, I'm curious to see how that works out with babe #3 due to arrive this summer.<br><br>
DS#2 is 17 months. He's sleeping through the night about 50% of the time. I lay with him to fall asleep. He may be ok with out me, but again, I treasure the quiet time with my little guy.<br><br>
Hang in there!! There is light at the end of tunnel!!
 

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My 9 year old does not sleep through the night. He sleeps in my room (not my bed) and often needs his head rubbed to help him get back to sleep. Falling asleep is difficult for him and he wakes early (4-6am is his typical wake up time). He struggles with life in general- anxious, fearful, etc.<br><br>
My 7 year old mostly sttn. She falls asleep alone in her own bed in her own room. Often I need to wake her in the morning even though everyone is awake and noisy. Life is a bit easier for her in general.<br><br>
My almost 3 year old twins sleep a solid stretch of the night. They fall asleep in a room together, but in their own cribs without assistance. One has bad dreams (witches, mean guys, that sort of thing) and wants to come into my room and nurse and sleep. Bad habit, but she is easy to sleep with. The other one sleeps better but wants to get up early (4am) and then nap at 7:30/8am just as we are heading out for the day.<br><br>
I have not found sleep deprivation to be less of an issue as my kids get older. Sorry, not what you want to hear.
 

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I guess it really depends on what you consider STTN. NO ONE - 'sttn'. No one. We all wake or rouse. What people really want to know is if your child can put themselves back to sleep without needing your help to do that. A baby needs help to do this (as does a todder/small child)....They need you to know that they are safe and all is right in the world. You can of course 'train' them not to need you or perhaps you were blessed with a placid baby/child! (I was with DS1 - who was 'sttn' by 4 months of age). ...<br>
Now - if anyone asks about 'STTN'...and I feel like being snarky, then I may say 'No - even I don't STTN!' ...but yes, my four year old does sleep through the night. He wakes of course. He even gets up to use the toilet sometimes! But he can get back to sleep without needing my help. We still of course co-sleep. If we didn't, I think I would be up with him a few times in the night.<br><br>
And personally, I don't know how anyone can handle a small age gap. If you did and have lived through it - well done to you! lol...I really really really like and am glad and feel super blessed that our gap is just over 4.5 years. I really can not imagine it any smaller than that! I am one with sleep - I like my sleep. I got great sleep during the pregnancy and got to have a nap every afternoon when I needed/wanted it. And now the baby is here, all I have to do is roll over and attend to no one but them in the night - which is easy enough at the moment right now with a simple boob! lol The birth did not turn out as planned (at all) and this one is much more high needs than my son was (he will not be put down - thank god for slings! ...though I am still trying to work out having a shower! lol)....So glad my first son is the age he is - I think I would have killed us all by now if he was any younger! lol And he loves his baby brother and can't wait to play with him. I am sure they will be great buddies at the best of times despite the 'gap'. Don't feel you have to TTC now just for that small gap most people go with (which seems to be so that their children can be 'friends' and play together - you can't gurantee that no matter what gap you end up having!)...if you really are not ready for that, don't push it! Having been through the first there weeks with a newborn, I have just come out of the other side of <i>hell</i> - take my word for it! lol
 

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<div>Originally Posted by <strong>ann_of_loxley</strong> <a href="/community/forum/post/15402506"><img alt="View Post" class="inlineimg" src="/community/img/forum/go_quote.gif" style="border:0px solid;"></a></div>
<div style="font-style:italic;">I guess it really depends on what you consider STTN. NO ONE - 'sttn'. No one. We all wake or rouse. What people really want to know is if your child can put themselves back to sleep without needing your help to do that.</div>
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I think that when people say STTN, they mean are they able to be independent during the night. I think of sttn as when you don't remember waking during the night.
 

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I have a 25 month old and an 11 month old (so.. a small age gap!!) but was blessed with an AMAZING sleeper for my first and a very good sleeper for my second. They both just really LIKE to sleep. DS1 sleeps from 630 or 7 pm till 7 or 8 the next morning without needing anything, except sometimes some water or if he can't find his stuffed animal or book that he is sleeping with. DS2 sleeps from 630 or 7 pm till 6 or 7 the next morning... I have no idea HOW I got so lucky but our 3rd (due in October) will probably be a total hellion to make up for it...
 

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DS1 was usually STTN, as it's usually understood, by about 1.5. (As much as I hate to say it, because it made me sad, she slept much better when we stopped bedsharing, and had her sleep beside us. DD1 was very easily overstimulated...still is, really.)<br><br>
DD1 was usually STTN by about age two.<br><br>
DS2 was usually STTN before he was a year old (but he slept 6 hours the night he was born - he's just always been a very, very deep sleeper and easy to settle when he's tired - he still naps most days - sometimes 3 hours - at almost five years old).<br><br>
DD2 is only 10.5 months old. I'm getting a feeling we're in for a much longer ride with her.<br><br>
I said "usually" in the above statements, because there are always exceptions...anxiety, illness, over-stimulation, etc. all have an impact. Every one of my kids has woken me up at least once in the last couple of years (even my then-15 year old, when he had a <i>bad</i> ear infection). But, as a regular thing, they all sleep through. On the rare occasions when they need us, they tend to settle again pretty quickly once we're there.
 

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My two youngest (ages 4 and 6) come into our bed anytime between 12:00 and 5:00. I wake up to get them settled (that means at least twice a night every night)and then we go to sleep. If they co-slept with us all night, we wouldn't have this problem but my DH doesn't like them going to sleep in our bed. We don't lay down with them to put them to sleep and haven't since around age 3 for my dd and 2ish for my ds.<br><br>
I choose to do this though. I'm sure I could get them to sleep in their bed all night if I wanted to be more strict about it.
 

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DS started sleeping through the night by about 18 months. Now we very rarely if ever have night wakings, maybe once a month and it's usually because of a bad dream or food allergy related. He sleeps in his own room and has since 20 months or so. My kids are 20 months apart and we did just fine, I parented them both totally alone for the first 11 months of DD's life as well. It wasn't easy, DD slept horribly for the first 9 months or so until we figured out a sleep arrangement that worked. Now night-wakings are around twice a night unless she's teething. Having them close together did not influence how she and I were sleeping since DS was out from 8pm-8am.
 

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My 5yo typically goes all night without needing an adult, and has since he was about 4ish. Occasionally, though, he'll need one of us, for example if he has a bad dream, or wakes up in pain because he has to pee really bad and doesn't recognize that's the problem.
 

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I had two of the world's worst sleeping babies <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/smile.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="smile"> My ds1 had a rough first year, but by 13 months, he started sleeping through the night and never turned back.<br><br>
DS2, equally awful first year, though in different ways, sttn for the first time at 14mos, but it was not consistent. He would wake up 1-2 times about 3-4 nights/week. He was about 2.5 when he started sttn consistently. At 3y3mos, he now wakes up about once per month, and I can totally live with that!<br><br>
I thought mine were rough sleepers, but I can't imagine it going on until 5,6 or 7 or 9!<br><br>
ETA: I coslept with both when they were babies, but they were such light sleepers, that I moved one into his own space at 7mos and one at 4 mos. Much better for them at the time. Now I wish they would want to sleep with me!
 

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I think we can say DD (just turned 3) STTN now. She was starting to, then she/we got a series of colds, over and over, all late winter/early spring, so it was hard to tell... she definitely did call me in to sleep with her (in a big bed in her room) a lot. But now we're all well and she's back to STTN. Every once in a while she'll wake up and ask to be taken potty, or for water, but that's very rare, I think. It's been coming on a long time, but we only officially nightweaned at 2.5, so I think that's pretty good! It was just time. Before, I kept feeling she just wasn't quite ready. We really followed ALL of our needs and it happened naturally. So that CAN happen <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/smile.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="smile">
 

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My 4 year old has been sleeping through the night in his bed since about the time he turned 3. Granted, he's up with the sun saying "the sun is up mommy let's go outside!" uugghh. But it's through the night. The child needs a farm to live on.
 
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