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Do your opposite-gender DC's play together?

729 Views 20 Replies 19 Participants Last post by  RiverSky
We don't know the gender of our little one due in May. Part of me really, really wants another boy so DS has a brother. He's so active and boy, I worry that if I have a girl they won't play or be close. This is ridiculous, right?

I think part of it is that I didn't play that much with my two brothers, either. But there's also no guarantee that two same-gender siblings will play, either! Anyway, what's your experience been?

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I only have one child so far (though her best friend is a boy) but I was pretty close to my own brother yea we had our share of fights but overall we were great friends even now.

I have one of each and they are 2 years and 3 months apart. They are thick as thieves. My ds is the older child.

I have an older sister and we had nothing to do with one another growing up.
My 7 y.o. DS and 4 y.o. DD play together constantly, they are best of friends. They both climb trees, they both play with dolls together, they build lego contraptions together, they read together, they do imaginative play with stuffed animals together, they play computer games together, sitting side-by-side on the same chair, they cuddle (or at least sit right next to eachother) on the couch while watching a t.v. show, they create entire highways together and set up all the Matchbox cars along them, etc. They shake hands and give eachother hugs and kisses when they apologize after arguing. My eldest will sometimes make breakfast (cereal or toast with jam) his sister if they get up before me and she always says, "Thank you very much, ___".

I truly don't believe that my children would be closer if they were the same sex.

I only have our family and my family growing up as my experience (naturally) but I believe it has to do with your family lifestyle. For instance, when I was very young, my brother and I were very close, but once we started going to school (out of the home), we each had our own friends and as we progressed through the grades, there was an age discrimination that we learned, little kids are boring, that type of thing, and I (being the eldest) was no longer very interested in playing with my little brother.

I do have relatives with twins (one boy, one girl) and they have always treated the children differently, even as one year olds, telling the boy not to cry like a girl, or not to play with a doll, "that's a girl toy". [It was just horrible to witness, thank goodness we never spend time with them anymore therefore our children do not need to witness it.] Certainly, in a family like that, I can see that a brother and sister would have fewer common interests and might not stay close for as long as they would otherwise. At the age of 8 these twins have only complaints about eachother, even when talking on the phone with grandparents.

In our family, I think that homeschooling has really helped with family togetherness and even though the children have plenty of friends outside of the family and we spend much time with them, they either play with their friends together, or immediately go back to playing with eachother once we get home. My children are still young, though, but hopefully this will continue for many years to come.

Why do you think you didn't play with your two brothers very much? What ages in your life are you referring to? I think this is a really interesting topic.
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Besides being opposite gender, my dc are 5.5 years apart in age. They have different interests and personalities. Still, they have played together over the years (although now at 14 and 9 it's more like ds "allowing" his little sister to hang out w/ him) and I think they're quite close despite all the differences. We homeschool, and I believe that has helped their relationship.
Why do you think you didn't play with your two brothers very much? What ages in your life are you referring to? I think this is a really interesting topic.
Well, my younger brother and I are almost six years apart, so that probably explains the lack of play with him. I did babysit him, though!

My older brother and I are 2 y. 9 mo. (exactly the same that my two will be!). I do think it's interesting to think about. My theories: we are really, really different. Even my mom has mentioned that I was really into imaginative play, and my brother just wasn't. I was a huge reader; he wasn't. Also, we lived on a cul-de-sac with over 40 kids, so we had lots of friends always at the ready. So I think we didn't *have* to play with each other, you know?

I really think how two siblings get along has everything to do with their personalities and, maybe, the way the parents treat the relationship rather than their sexes or age difference.

My boy and girl play together, though I don't know how that's going to go as they get older.
I grew up with two sisters. One I got along with just fine, the other I didn't until we were both in our 20's. My husband didn't get along with either of his brothers until they were older as well.

My mom's parents raised her, her brother, and sister to not get along. They played them off each other and compared them constantly. Now my mother and brother get along okay for short periods. My mother and her sister don't get along at all and are not speaking right now. So I do think the way parents treat the sibling relationship plays a part in it.

So boy or girl your kids may love to play together, play sometimes, get closer as they get older, or may never be that close. I really think the sex of the sibling has little to nothing to do with it.
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well i have a girl and a boy. they are 2.5 years apart. they are inseparable. once, my dd went to spend the night with my mom, and ds cried when she left and seemed so lost the whole night.

it may have helped that they tandem nursed (still kinda are!) either way...

also, i was 4 years younger than MY brother, and we were pretty close until adulthood. now he lives a million miles away in hawaii and doesn't return phone calls! lol
Mine love to be together and play with each other as much as they can at this young of an age!
My kiddos are 19 months apart and are each other's best friend and worst enemy! LOL They get along well most of the time and its awesome for one to tell the other "I Love you". They also like to wake each other up from their nap and ds likes to bring his lil sis yogurt for breakfast in the morning when they manage to get out of bed without waking mommy and daddy. I also highly recommend Siblings Without Rivalry!
My older two play together a lot. They're five and a half and two and half. Like another poster, I think it helps their relationship that we homeschool, because ds1 isn't picking up the age prejudice and segregation that happens in a school setting.
I have an 8 year old DD and a 6 year old DS and they are the very best of friends. They, of course, have the odd disagreement, but play together happlily for hours and hours. Neither of them need playdates; they are essentially a self-contained unit.
They do play together sometimes, but also separately. I do think boys and girls are different, so I wouldn't expect otherwise, but they are very tolerant of each other even with the differences in age and gender, which is I think all we can ask of them. And I agree with the others about homeschooling--nothing ruins a good family relationship like a sudden discovery of how "uncool" it is to play with different-aged and opposite-sexed people. And I also agree about how the parents treat the relationship--if you assume going in that there will be rivalry, there probably will be.
My older two are 27 months apart in age. When they were smaller, they equally played together and fought together. Now, they still play together here at home and with some mutual friends (brothers and a sister)...and still fight together.
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Originally Posted by uccomama
I have an 8 year old DD and a 6 year old DS and they are the very best of friends. They, of course, have the odd disagreement, but play together happlily for hours and hours. Neither of them need playdates; they are essentially a self-contained unit.
This is us!

Except my children are even older. My dd is 10.5 and ds is 8.5. They are one person. They never argue, not even by the end of the summer. They adore one another. When they see each other in school (4th and 2nd grade) they hug in the hall. They sit together in the car line everyday instead of with their friends.

When my three kids were younger, my two oldest (boy ds12 and girl) played together constantly. But when the baby got old enough, he bonded with his sister and that was that!

I have to say, all three of my kids get along really well but they are close in age (three years apart).......
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I do think that as adults its easier for same sex siblings to be closer. Not that all are! And not that some brother/sisters are not close.

But I think its much more likely that you will find a set of sisters that are very, very close as adults (talk every day, get together very often etc...) than you will sister/brother combo.

In other words I do think being of the same gender increases the odds of chidlren being close but is far from a gurantee one way or the other.
My ds and dd play very well together. They are 18months apart -I think this helps. They do have their own friends, but if one has a friend over the other is always included. I'm an only, so this is all new to me. They shared a room thier first three years, too. They fight - but then a couple of minutes later they're playing again. It's hilarious.
It's more of a personality thing than a gender thing. I have two daughters and they love each other a lot but they rarely play together. The only time they really play together in a nice way is when dd1 is playing "homeschool" with dd2. They just have completely different personalities. I hope that as dd2 gets into the cooperative play stage things will go better.
I have a girl and a boy who are 19 1/2 months apart. They play together all the time and are the very best of friends. They are 6 and 4 1/2 now.
DD is 7, DS is 4.5 and they play together all the time. Now, a good part of that is because DS has always been willing to play "older" games (board games from when he was newly one, lots of imagination games, etc...) but they can spend hours and hours playing. Right now at least, I can't imagine them being closer if they were the same sex.
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