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OK- First, cut yourself some slack. We all do things we don't want to. My Dh and I are committed to GD, but we recognize that we could get pushed past our limits.

Ok, I would honestly sit down and view the situations where you lose it. What is going on that is causing you the stress? In my case, I notice it is a time pressure thing. I want to get to xxx and Goo is not moving as fast as I want or she wants something else. I get very close to losing it and I take a deep breath and ask "how important is it?" Sometimes, it is important. I have to get to the doctor's. Ok, I pick up Goo and tell her gently that I know she doesn't like it, but we have to go NOW.

How about when I want to run up to the library. Not so important. I take some yoga breaths and then try to let her do what she needs to do.

You've identfied that it is your need to be in control. That's good. Now, what can you do next? Can you try to let go of some of that control? Maybe in small doses?

I am really shooting off the cuff here, but I hope you can find that happy medium.

Sofiamomma is right, working together with your kids will help the situation some because you all realize that you are in this together.
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