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arcenciel, I don't know how old your kiddo(s) are but am also a yeller - or used to be. I do still feel myself losing it now and then, and when I do I take DD to a safe place, set her down and tell her "mommy needs to take some mommy time for a minute" and will leave her. Usually she cries and runs after me, but this cooling of time is long enough for me to put myself back in the moment and calm down and get myself back to her level and able to respond to her needs.

•Be in the moment, each moment. This really helps to be aware of when an explosion is coming.

•Give yourself a time out. I think this models a few things - one is that I (we) have feelings and that I (we) get angry and upset, and two is that I handle it in a manner that shows DD it is NOT ok to yell or hit, and it is OK to say that you need some time to yourself.

Remember that our natural response is ingrained from our own ways we were parented. Hitting and screaming were a normal part of my childhood. These are deeply ingrained reactive behaviors for me. Maybe for you too. But you can choose to respond, rather than react. it is as simple, and as difficult, as remaining present and aware in each moment. Oh, I still blow my top sometimes, but not nearly as often as I used to. It takes practice, and it's not easy to change - but it can be done. Also, about control issues. You cannot control your children. Try to learn to get them to cooperate willingly. When you let go of control, much of the frustration that causes explosive reactions disappears. I have found that the times I feel like I am going to explode are when I am trying to make DD do something she does not want to do at that moment - when I am focused on what I want, rather than what she wants and finding a cooperative balance for us.
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