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Okay my fellow due in Feb's. I know Im supposed to be happy and all excited about my big pregnant belly...but I am less than excited. For a little background...
When I had my first child I was 225 when I got pregnant. I am about 5'9". I delivered at 267. After Caleb was born I worked hard to lose weight and get into better shape. I got down to 175. I was happy there, althought 165 was my ultimate goal. I gained about 5-10 pounds back over the course of 2 years. So I was between 180 and 185 when I got pregnant this time.
I am now 213, with 8 weeks to go. (if Im on time). I HATE what I look like. With my first baby I didn't care I was already fat and yuck. But man I ecpected to feel GREAT this time around because of the weight I had lost, but instead I dread EVERY pound I am adding. I refuse to go anywhere that I don't HAVE to go. I hate going out in public and we skipped every holiday party we were invited to. Ijust refused to try and look pretty when I feel SO ugly. My hubby will touch me and I just cringe cause I feel so repulsive. Of course he tells me that is not the case but I cannot shake it.
I know this sounds like I am superficial and only into appearance. Is there anyone out there who feels like me or am I pathetic? I just remember how hard I worked to try and get healthy again after years of carrying around so many extra pounds, it felt so good to look nice again, to get an occasional glance from the opposite sex here and there. Feeling ugly and unattractive again is not so easy this time around.
Just a side note...at 19 I weighed 160 in very good shape, I was a sprinter. I got a depo shot in April that year and gained 60 pounds over 3 months. The one depo shot stayed in my system for over 18 months and in that time I could not lose the weight no matter how I tried. I hurt both ankles and knees trying to continue running after the gain. Defeated, I was 23 before I treid to lose weight again and that was after Caleb was born. By 24 I had lost it (down to the 175).
Just hoping someone understands and doesn't think I am shallow
.
Jennie
MiddleMamma
When I had my first child I was 225 when I got pregnant. I am about 5'9". I delivered at 267. After Caleb was born I worked hard to lose weight and get into better shape. I got down to 175. I was happy there, althought 165 was my ultimate goal. I gained about 5-10 pounds back over the course of 2 years. So I was between 180 and 185 when I got pregnant this time.
I am now 213, with 8 weeks to go. (if Im on time). I HATE what I look like. With my first baby I didn't care I was already fat and yuck. But man I ecpected to feel GREAT this time around because of the weight I had lost, but instead I dread EVERY pound I am adding. I refuse to go anywhere that I don't HAVE to go. I hate going out in public and we skipped every holiday party we were invited to. Ijust refused to try and look pretty when I feel SO ugly. My hubby will touch me and I just cringe cause I feel so repulsive. Of course he tells me that is not the case but I cannot shake it.
I know this sounds like I am superficial and only into appearance. Is there anyone out there who feels like me or am I pathetic? I just remember how hard I worked to try and get healthy again after years of carrying around so many extra pounds, it felt so good to look nice again, to get an occasional glance from the opposite sex here and there. Feeling ugly and unattractive again is not so easy this time around.
Just a side note...at 19 I weighed 160 in very good shape, I was a sprinter. I got a depo shot in April that year and gained 60 pounds over 3 months. The one depo shot stayed in my system for over 18 months and in that time I could not lose the weight no matter how I tried. I hurt both ankles and knees trying to continue running after the gain. Defeated, I was 23 before I treid to lose weight again and that was after Caleb was born. By 24 I had lost it (down to the 175).
Just hoping someone understands and doesn't think I am shallow

Jennie
MiddleMamma