[splendid]

I feel stupid posting this, but whenever I have something life changing to tell dh, I can't do it.

It took me 3 months to tell him I wanted to TTC, we talked about it and then the subject was dropped. Now I want to tell him I'm ready now and can't do it. What the frick am I afraid of? He is really easy to talk to and allows me to be crazy ol me, but I still can never come out and tell him things. This isn't just with the TTC subject, this happens with anything big I have to tell him that isn't "Dinner is ready" or "Wear a coat it is cold outside".

My mother is the same way in telling me things. When my aunt died, she didn't tell me for a week. And at that I had to guess it out of her.

Does anyone else do this. And does have anyone have any suggestions in what I can do to 'practice' being up front. It is easy to say just do it, but that isn't in my nature. I'm the kid who practices the same "Do you want to go to the dance" line a million times and still screws it up.

 

[wonderfulmom]

Are you putting a little too much thought into things? Maybe you just need to take a walk around the house, come back in, and just blurt it out. Since you don't know exactly what he will say about anything, you can't plan the whole conversation- just the points you want to make. Good luck.

 

[love2all]

I was brought up in a house where we really never 'talked'- it was all superficial....so even after 16years with the same man, i am still trying to learn about this thing called communication..

 

[fluffernutter]

Yep. I have that same problem. It's like that with everyone though. The commercials on T.V. tell me I have social anxiety dissorder. :LOL What I do is overthink things. I go over the conversation over and over in my head. I think about what I'll say. Then what the other person will say back. And on and on to the point where I make myself crazy over it. Usually with strangers I end up saying nothing. Probably why I have no friends.

Anyway, I have no advice for you. I'd love to hear some though. I'm almost considering Zoloft. :LOL

 

[allys jill]

i understand just how you feel. i don't know if we are exactly alike in this, but i have big problems talking to my boyfriend. like reese says, i rehearse conversations and think over things i want to say, and when the moment comes i have much trouble saying much of anything, much less what i wanted to say! it's very frustrating, isn't it?

i really think it is a vulnerability issue in a relationship. for me, i think i'm afraid of being judged by what i say. thing is, i know my relationship would be deeper and more meaningful if i would speak my truth. how could it not? and like your dh, my boyfriend is not judgemental and is very understanding, never has he made fun of anything that i have said to him seriously.

i don't have any advice per se but you are definitely not alone and i suspect many people feel this way, at least at some point in their lives.