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Because I really can't see how it would work for us. I'm planning on doing it, but I've been thinking about it and it just doesn't seem like a great idea. My son is almost 27 months now and will be 30 months when the baby is born. We co-sleep now but he gets up several times a night and I often need to read him a book to get him back to sleep (though thankfully he falls asleep almost instantly). What's going to happen when we have an infant waking up every hour or two during the night? Won't they keep waking each other up all night? Would it be better for my toddler to try to get him into his own room, so that he'll get more sleep? Although that won't work either if he's still waking up during the night.

Please share your experiences with me! How has sleeping with a toddler and an infant worked for you?
 

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For our family the answer was no. I need to preface by saying that I have always been an advocate of "whatever gets your family the most sleep" is best. That meant to bring the newborn into bed with me...or to let my toddler sleep with us as well. Once DD2 came along, DD1 was 23 months and had no interest in sleeping in the room next door. So we sidecarred a crib to the bed and made the decision to have both children in bed with us. They were always waking each other up...or waking me up and I'd be so irritated with the toddler for doing normal toddler things like crying out, tossing, etc bc I was so scared that she would wake up the baby. It just was not working for us. We eased into having DD1 sleep in a twin size bed in the room next door. We started playing in that room a lot so that it would be familiar. It honestly was not a tough transition bc she gets so much more sleep that way. No more having to move her in the middle of the night to change sides with the baby. She comes to our room sometimes in the middle of the night but I'll take her to go potty, give her a drink and tuck her back in and 9 times out of 10 she is ok. If she persists on not wanting to sleep in her bed then we do give in. But that has only been a few times and when outside circumstances have been involved (like a thunderstorm). I really wanted co-sleeping with everyone to work for us but it just did not for my family. Getting DD1 in her own room was how we all ended up getting more sleep.
 

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Our 21 month old currently just (as in this last week) started sleeping on a crib mattress on our bedroom floor. Until that time she'd been sleeping in our bed at night. We have a queen sized bed and there is absolutely NO way that a toddler and a baby will fit in there in addition to DH and I. NO WAY. So as of now (I have 7 months to go though...) that would be fine, but if I feel that she is ready to sleep in her own room I'll be fine with that too. Our room is too small to side car a crib without our bed running into and blocking the closet door, otherwise we might have done that for more space.
Good luck! You'll find something that works for your family!
 

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Here's what we did when we had a 16.5mo and a newborn:

I started the night with DD2 on one bed, while DH started the night with DD1 in another bed. Some nights DD1 would stay with Daddy all night, but most of the time she joined me in the middle of the night. Since I had the queen sized bed with just the kids (DH was in another bed) this worked out perfectly. When they got a bit bigger (and I could nurse them simultanously), we switched to me starting out in bed with both girls- on some nights anyway.
 

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I sleep in bed with dd #1 (31 mos) and dd #2 (4.5 mos). Dh sleeps either on extra bed or couch. It's not a wonderful arrangement (I miss my hubby!!!) but dd #1 was just not emotionally ready to be away from me at night. This way I can be near both of them when they stir. Older dd doesn't nurse anymore, but still wakes several times a night and needs a cuddle to go back to sleep. Amazingly, they don't seem to wake each other up. I try to sleep between them, but if I have to put them next to each other so I can nurse on the other side, I put a tightly rolled blanket between them to keep a little distance. As I said earlier, it's not perfect, but I feel like it's the best way of meeting everyone's needs as best I can. Hopefully as dd#1 gets a little older, we can start to transition her out of my bed to our extra bed, which is right next to ours, anyway. Good luck, I'm sure you'll find the best solution (and it may change from night to night!!!)
 

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We're working hard on getting our 24 month DS into his sidecar twin bed all night for this reason. He'll be 26 months when DD arrives, and still needs us to cuddle him to sleep at night and nap time.
 

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My boys are exactly same age difference as your dc will be. Ds1 is 33 months and ds2 is 3 months and I had many of the same concerns. With ds1 we used the co-sleeper as it came (cardboard "mattress") and he slept in it pretty infrequently. When he outgrew it we moved a daybed in and sidecarred it to our bed. He still slept with us mostly - using the daybed like an extender because back then we had a queen. He was my all night nurser until nightweaning at 18 months at which time he started staying in "his" bed more often. But would still wake for comforting. Half way through my pregnancy I started really involving dh in the nightime comforting because our plan was to have dh and I flip sides so that dh would be closest to the daybed and I would be next to ds2 in the co-sleeper. It went really well - with the occasional bump but overall has been a lot easier than I thought. Ds1 was not and still is not ready to be in his own room so I didn't want to push him on that.
They don't wake each other at all. Ds1 has had a few middle of the night fits and the baby doesn't stir. Also, I might have good babies, but my babies don't really cry overnight since I am right there Z just rustles to nurse and I get him within a few seconds. So that is less of an issue than I thought it would be. The bedtime routine is what is trickier. When my babies are little I go to bed when they do. It makes me a lot more sane. And I feel less worn out even if they wake 5 times. So ds1 is used to me going to bed when he does. At some point I will want to rejoin the adult ranks and I wonder about the boys in the room together.
I think so much depends on what your older one is ready for and what they need. The babies are easier IMO, because they will sleep pretty much wherever you put them.
I will add that I would not be telling a success story if we were all in one bed. My ds1 is a super thrasher and I would not trust him to not launch over one of us onto the baby. Also, dh sleeping in another room was not an option for us. It's not a "family bed" to us if the whole family is not there. So that is why our room is basically one giant bed!
It works really well for us. I hope you find something that works well for you too. Congratulations and Good luck!
 

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Quote:

Originally Posted by liliaceae View Post
Please share your experiences with me! How has sleeping with a toddler and an infant worked for you?
It works great for us (DS born 5/06 and DD born 9/08) but we are lucky and have a big bedroom.
Our solution was simple: move a queen size mattress next to our king size mattress. The order is like this: on the king - DH then DS, on the queen - Me, then DD.
I am in between DD and DS...


I love waking up with my sweeties. I feel so privileged to see my DD's smiling face first thing in the morning...
:
 

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My DS1 was 32 months when DS2 was born. We planned to maybe try getting him in his own bed before baby arrived, but didn't get around to it. It's worked fine for us. Note that DS1 weaned during my pregnancy, and nightweaned just after age 2, so he was sleeping through the night for months before baby arrived. We have a bedrail on one side of our king-sized bed and (until recently) a cosleeper on the other. DS1 sleeps by the rail, then DH, then me, then DS2...when we took down the cosleeper we changed the arrangement so that the baby is now between me and DH, and I'm on the outside edge (we have to get another bed rail...it's on the shopping list!). We worried that DS1 would wake up alot if the baby cried, but except for maybe once, he slept right through it (and of course, after the first couple of days you get into a rhythm and baby rarely cries at night, anyway).

KBinSATX, we may just be trying the king plus queen approach at some point - it will mean setting our bedroom up weird but I think we could fit it!
 

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Quote:

Originally Posted by KBinSATX View Post
Our solution was simple: move a queen size mattress next to our king size mattress. :
Oh that sounds like a dream!
We have a twin pushed up next to our queen and I thought that was good living! hehe
 

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It works fine for us. Mine don't wake each other up for the most part. I sleep between them and my toddler usually nurses once during the night, while the baby nurses 2-3 times.
 
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