does having sons make for a better marriage?

595 Views 11 Replies 11 Participants Last post by sonya_mamafor4, Oct 13, 2003

Elphaba

Discussion Starter · Oct 9, 2003

have y'all seen this?

It seems like the statistical correlation is VERY slim, hardly anything to build a case on. And as part of a couple who very much wanted a daughter, I was annoyed by this article. According to this author, now we females also have to shoulder the blame for our parents' shitty marriages since we could have prevented their divorces by simply being born male. OHHHHHHHH-KAY.

where's a smiley giving the finger when I need one?

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momto l&a

· #2 · Oct 9, 2003

We listened to it on the radio tonight. We think its rediculous.

Couples need to take responsibility for their own problems and not going blaming it on their children.

What about the girls that listen/ read that "study?" What will that do to them making them think they are marriage breakers.

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Arduinna

· #3 · Oct 9, 2003

It's not new AFAIK, I remember reading about it before. Anyway, I think it's bunk and based on the premise that men are more likely to stay in the marriage if they have sons.

Whatever, that sure doesn't say much about those men does it.

Also, it's pretty stupid to assume that because people stay married that they are happy.

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Elphaba

Discussion Starter · #4 · Oct 9, 2003

here's my take: men who are insistent on having sons for stupid reasons like "to play ball with" or "to carry on the family name" are more likely to leave their wives, or to mistreat their wives and force them to leave, because a man who thinks like that is a pitiful man, a chauvanist who hasn't evolved past his cave days. whereas men who simply want a CHILD or even gasp! PREFER daughters are men who value family and women and are more able to ride out difficulties in marriages.

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kimmysue2

· #5 · Oct 9, 2003

Ugh its out there. My neighbor upstairs sees Tevin and more then once has said how lucky we are to have a son. He wished he had one and not his two girls.

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Piglet68

· #6 · Oct 9, 2003

I know this is sort of borderline but...I'm going to move this to Parents as Partners.

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lilirose

· #7 · Oct 9, 2003

sorry, having to remove all posts with personal info due to an online stalker.

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Jessviola

· #8 · Oct 9, 2003

both dh and i always pictured having a daughter. we feel very blessed that our first child was indeed a daughter, and truthfully, we'd be very happy with all daughters, but of course if we have sons we'll love them just as much. and dh has said numerous times how he always imagined having a daughter just like dd

and ever since i was a little girl i just automatically pictured my first baby as a daughter (maybe because i'm a girl?)

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Liz

· #9 · Oct 9, 2003

Statiscally this study doesn't prove anything(5% divorce increase in families with girls) and the rest is speculation. There is so little information contained in that article, I can't believe it was published.

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PDeSoToK

· #10 · Oct 10, 2003

Right on, Lili.

Me too.

In fact, my Dh and I have 2 daughters. *IF* we decide to have another baby, he says he wants another baby girl.

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Teresa

· #11 · Oct 10, 2003

Well, for cultural reasons my idiotic BIL and SIL keep on breeding baby girls in which they have no interest. Four and counting. . .
I don't picture them ever divorcing, though, as they're Hindu and it's just not done. In fact, many of the cultures that have this prejudice, also have strong prohibitions against divorce.

However, if you check out any info. on 'sperm-sorting' and the facilities that do it, it seems that most couples willing to undergo this process prefer a GIRL by far!

Two relatives recently adopted from India and we all assumed that they would receive referrals for girls (one, in fact, had stated a preference for a girl). They both were referred to baby boys and adopted them. Apparently, the current trend is that girls are more preferable to the many European couples who are now adopting from India.

My take on it all?
Correlation does not equal causation, and I'd like to see the 'statistics' on teen pregnancy, as I remember reading a study years ago that younger women (girls?) under 21 were more likely to have baby girls unless the father was >10 older, in which case the child was more likely to be male. And also, I'd guess, less likely to be married to the child's father--with one exception, all the pregnant teens I knew married a second time, or someone else entirely the first time.

Interesting, but irrelevant to my life--except as it comes to dealing with that one particular bent branch of the family tree!

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sonya_mamafor4

· #12 · Oct 13, 2003

Quote by:teresa
younger women (girls?) under 21 were more likely to have baby girls unless the father was >10 older, in which case the child was more likely to be male.

Well,My husband and I have had 3 sons together and he left me about a month ago so that idea is gone.(Even though I seem to have the mind set,"he has three sons,how could he leave them?")
Also,I had all of sons before the above age.(The twins were born a month after my 21st.)and my husband is only two years older than myself.
So I personally don't listen to theory,because I have seen to much of it easily proven not to be true.
Sonya

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