Mothering Forum banner
1 - 16 of 16 Posts

·
Registered
Joined
·
729 Posts
Discussion Starter · #1 ·
nak'ing...

so, my 4th baby is 12 months old and from the get-go has been a very different child from my older three. i noticed it w/in hours of his birth. today, i somehow stumbled upon dr. sears story of his 4th child, who too is high needs, and the song is exactly my tune. every spirited checklist i'm finding on the 'net is nail on.

my question is, is this a gifted thing? some resources say it is/could be, and i wonder because my 12 year old, who is identified gifted, was/is nothing like this.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
2,557 Posts
Well, I certainly don't think one necessitates the other, but there could be a correlation. My (gifted) DD was a pretty needy baby. But I was apparently as easy-going of a baby as ever there was, and I am also gifted.
And I am absolutely positive that some needy babies do not end up being gifted.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
3,084 Posts
ITA that there is no statistical evidence that links giftedness or high IQ/EQ to behavior, specifically high needs. However, most kids with high needs have hightened awareness in some respect or another, which usually means they are unable to filter out some of the information going in - this OFTEN, but not always - means they are taking in more information (sensory, usually, but not always). If they are able to process the information, integrate it, they can usually be ahead of the curve. If they can't process it, or they are unable to differentiate the good from the bad in some way (sensorially, socially, morally, emotionally etc.) they can become crippled. That's why SID and autism OT/training has to do with processing the information and trying to integrate it, not just cope with the overwhelming sensations. hth.

ETA: there are also loads of gifted children who are not and never were high needs.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
1,047 Posts
No, it doesn't mean that they will be.
Actually I've never read any sign that automatically means giftedness other than an IQ test.

As someone said, it is a possibility, but I generally see this more as a temperment trait than many things. The example the previous poster gave is ONE reason why a child may be high needs... the heightened sensitivity/awareness. On a high needs board I used to frequent, what I saw was that there were MANY reasons a child might be high needs.

Two of my kids that have been identified gifted so far, one was soooo not high needs, and the other was VERY high needs.

In her case, I believe the high needs temperment was really her temperment very much exacerbated by feeling horrible those first 6 months (very colicky, and took forever to find food triggers for her). In addition, there was much she wanted to do and couldn't, and she would get very frustrated fast.

Tammy
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
756 Posts
My oldest was a very high needs baby, and ultimately did a stint of OT for SPD. I do think of high needs in infancy as one possible form of OEs. Her subsequent siblings have had varying degrees of needs, and I don't doubt that one of them, who was easy as pie as a baby, may be as gifted as she was (though he's too young to really know just yet).

Like so many other things, I don't think the high needs in infancy are necessarily a significant sign of giftedness, in spite of the correlation between OEs and giftedness.

I think there's probably a much bigger sign in your baby's older sibling, who's already been identified as gifted, since siblings have a good chance of being close in IQ.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
4,572 Posts
My first was beyond high-needs/spirited, and he is now a moderately gifted 8 year old. My second, however, was a happy, peaceful creature from birth and is likely profoundly gifted. My third...too soon to detect giftedness at nearly 11 wks of age, but he is a happy and mellow baby like his sis.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
5,936 Posts
No way. There are plenty of high-needs, spirited children with average and below average IQs.

People change so much. I don't even think active infant = active adult.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
286 Posts
I haven't even thought of this before. I don't know for sure if high needs = giftedness or not, but what personally believe that it very well could. But I think this is only with 'some' kids so maybe not automatically equal.

I saw recently on a chart that they could be off balanced in some areas of learning and developing so maybe that is what it is.

Yusuf has been extremely high needs since birth. We have had nothing but sleeping problems since day one. We still cosleep because he has severe anxiety issues somehow. I'm a SAHM and have never left him alone with anyone else, but yet he panics at 3.5 if he can't see me or if I don't tell him I'm going to the bathroom for example. If I tell him, he's alright.

The other day he fell down the stairs as he climbed over the gate. He was playing upstairs with Ahmed and I told him I'll be back that I had to take the trash out for the garbage service. I heard him screaming within just a few minutes. He fell over the gate trying to climb it and down the stairs....because he was scared. I just don't know why he was so scared. He can go to a friend's house and be fine without me, like next door friend. I am sure he'd fall apart if it was someone else's house and I just left him there. He panics so bad he vomits if I don't come right away. He did this as a baby during some sleep training I was trying. I let him cry for 2 minutes before coming back and he was so upset he vomitted. So from that day onward I realized I just have to sleep with him. I used to rock him for hours and make the house soundless. After he got too big to rock and I was pregnant, I had to shake his leg til he slept. Now he has to cuddle with my elbow or he won't sleep.

His eating has been nothing but a big problem since starting solids. He's the pickiest child ever. He eats mostly white stuff and is very selective. He gags if I try to get him to eat anything else. He vomits over a lot of stuff because he gets so upset.

No one has ever seen a child like this that I know. Ahmed is very different in all of these regards. I had my door closed while I was dressing. They were sleeping. Ahmed woke up and came looking for me. The door was closed so he just layed quietly in front of my door and waited. I was speechless when I saw him. If it had been Yusuf??? Oh lordy me. I can't lock the bathroom door or he literally falls apart, majorly falls apart.

He's just high needs in every way I can describe. So I don't know if it's related to IQ/giftedness. I've discussed these things with his dr. She basically either doesn't listen to me about his fears and his very selective nature. She recommended I got to this website called, "All Kinds of Minds . org and I have no idea why. I went there and for the life of me can't see why.

Yusuf wears me down. As a result of that, I've learned to engage him in stuff and we get along much better and he's much happier. I think I just didn't know what to do as a first time mom with him.
 

·
Premium Member
Joined
·
1,819 Posts
My 3 youngest boys are all extremely high needs, high spirited children. I feel all 3 are gifted (but I give determination and drive much more credence). My oldest son is also high spirited, but he is also profoundly physically disabled, and possibly gifted in his own right as he speaks 3 languages, etc. My oldest daughter was, and still is in many ways, the most calm, laid-back kid. She is not gifted. My oldest 2, twins, were from a different (and high-spirited, not-gifted) father, as well.

I was extremely high spirited as a child and even now, as an adult. I have major food intolerances.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
510 Posts
Quote:

Originally Posted by quaz View Post
In addition, there was much she wanted to do and couldn't, and she would get very frustrated fast.

Tammy
Not sure if ds is gifted, I waver all the time. However, this eternal frustration is one of the reasons he was so demanding as a baby. He wanted (and still does) want to do things that are physically too difficult for him. He wanted (and wants) to investigate everything, and demanded my help, with great persistence, to do so. Even before he could talk, he would request me to do all sorts of bizarre stuff with things so he could see what would happen. This great determination, curiosity and drive is mostly what made me think perhaps he is gifted. But perhaps he is not, and he is just a determined, curious and driven little boy with normal intelligence!


Like some pp's I am gifted and was my mum's easiest baby (out of 4) by far - likewise could entertain myself for long periods from an early age, pretty quiet and so undemanding. Darn, wish I coulda passed on those traits!
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
149 Posts
I think that that high needs "personality" certainly lends itself to a "gifted" child. I have one... and he's trying on EVERY level yet soooo sooo bright and quick witted--- I think often, in ds's case anyway, that the high needs attributes comes out of pure frustration that motor skills are not at the same level as brain function. does that make sense? Since my ds was born we've both felt that he was born into pure frustration that his motor skills "held him back" from the way he wanted things to be...
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
678 Posts
My oldest DS was very high needs as a baby and he is the most gifted of my kids. My younger DD was very laid back as a baby and a terrible preschooler and to this day is very spirited. Her talent was a bit slower to blossom than her older brother's, but now at 7, her math ability is astounding. She is basically figuring out all of arithmetic with generalizations, including things that are not too natural like operations with fractions.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
748 Posts
Not in our case. DS was the highest need ever, to the point where he qualified as special needs. And no, he's not gifted. He's a sweetheart and adventurous and kind and all the good stuff, but gifted? Don't think so...

DD is much brighter (classically speaking) and she was a very mellow baby.

Also, I was gifted as a child (I think I evened out somewhere along the line
) and I was very easy and mellow.

I think it depends where the high or low needs stem from.

I was low-needs because I understood what was going on and didn't fight everything, and I could occupy myself for long periods by myself.

DS was high needs because of sensory issues - the same issues distracted him from the world and didn't let him process things cognitively at the same levels as other babies. So he was behind other kids, and still is a little, although he's caught up some.
 
1 - 16 of 16 Posts
Top