Mothering Forum banner
1 - 20 of 46 Posts

·
Registered
Joined
·
7,146 Posts
Discussion Starter · #1 ·
When strangers touch your children? Like in public places? People constantly touch my kids and it drives me batty. I've been know to flip out on people for this. They always think i'm overreacting and am so anal. I may be but I hate the thought of their nasty germs on my kids. Lately people keep touching Coles hands and face. It really bothers me because I know before I can clean his hands, he'll put them in his mouth. Gross.

It's a cultural thing here i'm told. Most of the time, it's hispanic people and I'm told that it's a superstition.. I dunno. I feel bad getting defensive but it's not MY superstition, ya know? This literally happens every time we leave the house. And I always look like a jerk. WHat do you do? How do you feel about people touching your kids?
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
5,193 Posts
Uh-oh. I'm a kid-toucher, but I'm not Hispanic... I just like to pat their heads and stroke baby cheeks.

I spent part of my childhood in southern Italy, as a platinum blonde, so I got used to being touched regularly. Maybe it just rubbed off on me.

The idea that touching your kids could make you anxious probably never occured to them. I think you just need to politely ask that they not touch your kids, for the reasons you just listed here.

I'd never touch a newborn without having an offer (although it kills me to restrain my fingers, :LOL) or a kid whose mother wasn't right there watching the whole thing, though.

Guess to me, people who just kind of clinically observe my baby's cuteness, without caressing, seem kind of cold and insincere-- "If you REALLY thought my baby was so cute, why are you standing six feet away?!" type of deal. :LOL
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
2,860 Posts
I don't mind, and ds seems to enjoy it (he gives a very cute 3 tooth smile
). I tend to agree with the previous poster that germs are probably good to help build up his immune system. He also seems to brighten everyone's mood when he comes in contact with them.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
11,369 Posts
Nope doesn't bother me as long as it doesn't bother my boys


I like it when people notice and pay attention to my kids in general.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
7,146 Posts
Discussion Starter · #10 ·
Crap. I guess it's just me... I had to put up with the same thing as a child growing up so close to the Tex-Mex border and it really bothered me even as a child when people would randomly touch my hair. Germs are a big deal with our family because Meg gets sick easily and stays sick for a LONG time. It's never just a short cold with her. It just seems violating to me. Like touchig a pregnant tummy on a person you don't know. It's just crossing a line. I do appreciate people talking to and being friendly with my kids.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
128 Posts
Quote:

Originally Posted by my~hearts~light
It's a cultural thing here i'm told. Most of the time, it's hispanic people and I'm told that it's a superstition.. I dunno. I feel bad getting defensive but it's not MY superstition, ya know? This literally happens every time we leave the house. And I always look like a jerk. WHat do you do? How do you feel about people touching your kids?

Strange. I'm Hispanic,
: Mexican, and have never heard of such superstition.

And it would drive me batty, as well. Perhaps because I grew up in Mexico City, so I'm a tad paranoid! :LOL I'm not even pregnant yet and I have fellow rennies talking about passing the baby so everyone can hold her, and I really don't think I would be comfortable with that.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
1,572 Posts
when i was pregnant and this subject came up, i thought it would, but it doesn't bother me. part of that is that Willow is so friendly and she loves interacting with people! she'll reach out and grab someone's nose or purse or clothes more often than they try to touch her
once i got a creepy vibe from an old guy that looked like he was going to reach out to her, i just turned and headed away. i do check people out pretty carefully as they approach, that seems to help them to be polite to us.

i do notice that Hispanic people, more than anyone else, rub her hair a lot. is it for good luck? (if so, i should have fantastic luck!! *lol*) it's hard to get through a store sometimes! but i've noticed pretty much everyone addresses her directly, "hi baby!" and all that, rather than doing that "talking for the baby" thing, so i enjoy watching her interact with people.

i'm not sure about the germs. she's only had one cold since birth *knock wood* and no other infections. it might be building up her immunity that she's out and about so much? i'm just happy that she's happy
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
4,237 Posts
Quote:

Originally Posted by my~hearts~light
Crap. I guess it's just me... I had to put up with the same thing as a child growing up so close to the Tex-Mex border and it really bothered me even as a child when people would randomly touch my hair. Germs are a big deal with our family because Meg gets sick easily and stays sick for a LONG time. It's never just a short cold with her. It just seems violating to me. Like touchig a pregnant tummy on a person you don't know. It's just crossing a line. I do appreciate people talking to and being friendly with my kids.
Maybe when people try to touch her, mention that she's just getting over being sick or something. Most people would stay back a little if you said that. I think.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
7,801 Posts
I don't like it when strangers-namely some men- may try to touch my kids. One friend of ours, more like an aquaintance, both times he has seen dd has kept saying how beautiful she is , and kept stroking her. That set me off. I don't like that. I am paranoid,if I don't like the look or feel some people give me. But see, it depends on who it is, etc etc.I am just VERY watchful, YK? It's not the germ factor for me.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
7,146 Posts
Discussion Starter · #16 ·
I'm really untrusting AND a germiphobe. I have my reasons. Ans yes, it's a thing about luck. They believe that if they admire a child and don't touch them, that they will both have bad luck. I think.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
42,824 Posts
The way it's been explained to me is that if they look at the child and admire and don't touch that it opens the child up to the evil eye. So they're touching to protect your child.... or at least that's my understanding.

-Angela
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
5,193 Posts
Quote:

Originally Posted by my~hearts~light
They believe that if they admire a child and don't touch them, that they will both have bad luck. I think.
And they'd be right! Mamas like me don't like having babylicious beauty go unsqueezed!


Anyways, yeah, tell them she's prone to lingering sickness... even an unregenerate baby-feeler ought to understand that, and it is less likely to hurt feelings than a more curt version of "Get your hands off my kiddo" if you know what I mean.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
7,146 Posts
Discussion Starter · #19 ·
Actually, it's more of a problem with people touching Cole. We spread kisses and germs around like wildfire. I usually just say "please don't touch him." There is no sweet way to say that. If not for lingering sickness, I still wouldn't want some random stranger touching my kids. That's really bitchy isn't it? Just honest.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
751 Posts
During the pregnancy my dh and I talked about how much this would bother us and how we'd keep the baby in a sling in public to help prevent it. Well, this weekend we were in a restaurant and he passed her to a stranger who asked to hold her. I was so surprised! As the day progressed and people asked about her he proudly showed her off and didn't care a bit when people touched her. I wouldn't have handed her off to anyone (I don't think), but the touching thing hasn't bothered me like I thought it would. Don't worry about saying something though if this is something that drives you crazy!
 
1 - 20 of 46 Posts
This is an older thread, you may not receive a response, and could be reviving an old thread. Please consider creating a new thread.
Top