Sunmama: I agree that I've become a lot less playful, as my ds has become more mature/independent/etc...And, I don't want y'all to take that the wrong way as I'm naturally a pretty nutty mama, so it may be a *good* thing that I'm maturing right along with ds!
It's so crazy to see how 'serious' I have to be sometimes though, as I've never really been too serious a person until I had to do this 'parenting' business...Something I've noticed, though...I think having been so playful with ds when he was a babe/toddler, now that he's grown up a little, he knows that when mama's serious, MAMA's SERIOUS. I think it has gone a long way in helping tame the power struggles that I see a lot of parents with children this age going through.
For instance, today we were in the bank. Not in a very nice part of town. He was standing right up under me in line & all of a sudden, he was GONE. He had asked if they had chairs as we were walking in & I told him that I didn't know, we'd have to see, so the first place I look is over at the chairs <about 15 people between me & him>...At first I didn't see him & my heart sank <I'm sure y'all know what Im talkin' about here!> Then his head popped up over the back of a chair and all I had to say was HERE. NOW. And boy, did he ever run! I know if that had been my little cousin <she's 5 & parenting toooootally different than my ds> that she would have given her mother a FIT, causing some huge ruckus...My point being, that I think that when we can be playful with them in everyday life, that when it comes to 'the safety issues' <like when most spankers say "I only spank when it's a safety issue"> that children who have been playfully parented KNOW when they're parents are serious, without having to be beat. Does that make sense?
Sorry...that was a tangent!!!
Darylll: I will definately look into that book...I haven't read that one yet & can see that it might help make this 'transition' easier for ME!
Embee: You hit the nail on the head, mama! It's like he's almost SEEKING OUT this 'adult-like' behaviour from me. Like he doesn't *want to be "talked to like a child:, kwim?... It's got me a little freaked out, as he acts so GROWN sometimes! I never knew a kid at this age that could carry on such dramatic conversations and such...I worked in a daycare for YEARS & never knew that there were kids like this!
I totally agree that it's all about the cues...I think what freaks me out the most is that my 'natural instincts' seem to have faded over the years & I feel like I'm going at this all alone <without the instincts>...It's like sometimes, I don't know what I should do, ya know? And, I feel like he's pretty much gonna remember everything from here on out, ya know!
Ahhhh! I think mama's havin' a rough time with this 'about to have a 4 year old' stuff!!
I hope you're ds has a wonderful b'day!!
Sheryn: The 'disconnection' thing is something else that I've noticed...Like, when I pick ds up from my mom's house <he stays there like 2 nights a week> he always acts kinda mean, or 'ornery' as we call it when I first pick him up...It's like we've misplaced our 'connection' and it really does take PLAY to get that connection back into focus. I've learned that if I go into the house with silliness in mind, and just attack him with some tickle monster or brain sucker that he usually just totally skips over the mean stage & goes right into loving...It's just crazy how this can work so well!!!
Anyway, I just want to say thank you mamas! This discussion has really helped me identify some places that I've been lacking in, or at least bring to the surface things that are working well & that always helps me to implement the good tactics more! Thanks so much!
Alayna