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Discussion Starter · #1 ·
Is it possible for an almost 11 month old to have a tantrum? My dd(very, very high needs) seems to have a melt down once in a while. Times when we take her away from something dangerous or she grabs something that she can't play(again b/c its not safe) she screams at the top of her lungs and throws herself around. NOTE(we do everything we can to avoid situations where this may happen, for example the house is completly baby proofed and I try to make sure that things that aren't safe she can't get a hold of etc... but you sometimes it just happens.) What I usually do when this happens is hold her and try to distract her w/ something else and just talk softly to her that we are going to go do something else(not that she understands or maybe she sort of does, I don't know??) Does this sound normal and like a good way to handle it?

Also something else she does sometimes and I'm not sure why is she hits herself in the head and pulls her hair. Also when she is naked she will pull the skin really hard on her chest/stomach. I figured it was normal but wanted see if anyone elses babe does that?
 

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My son was an early walker (10m) and he started having tanrums around 11m. I was like "no one told me about teh terrible 1's!" But I think anytime they dont have the verbal ability to explain or understand things, they are bound to get frustrated. And some children are more intense than others (which describes DS) so they may be more prone to tantrums of frustration than a more laid back babe.
 

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its very possible... i work in an infant room at a daycare (6 wks to 18 mo), and i really do see it a lot. the screaming, throwing themselves out, scratching and hair pulling (on themselves) and even trying to bite a caregiver who is trying to calm them down.

i think youre handling it great, thats what we try to do. we have had one or 2 kids that we just have to leave alone, theyd rather be alone while theyre tantruming, trying to comfort them just makes it worse
 

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I've always thought that my DS would never throw a temper tantrum... HA!!! Now that he's learned to communicate his needs in a much more clear and consise way.... tantrums seem to abound when he's frustrated...

DS will be 11 months in two weeks and we began walking a few days ago
: now, when he's getting frustrated with walking he begins growling... and once, he even laid, tummy down on the floor and sobbed... as soon as I picked him up he seemed fine again.

I'm glad that he is so "vocal" about his needs and wants...
 

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well - the screaming and throwing herself around sounds normal - I am not so sure about the hair pulling and pulling her own skin - depends really how much and how hard and why ??

you might get some more ideas if you have a look at the gentle discipline board
 

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Discussion Starter · #8 ·
Thanks everyone...I feel like its her personality. I'll x-post in GD
 

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I wouldn't say dd does all-out trantrums, but she will let me know if she's upset about having something taken away, etc. My whole life, my parents always invalidated my feelings and told me I was "overreacting" (when I was reacting VERY normally to having an insane and emotionally abusive mother and codependent father), so I never shush her, or try to distract her or tell her it's "okay" or "no big deal". Instead, I always try to reflect her feelings back to her, saying things like, "You're upset because you can't play with the phone, aren't you?" I do the same thing when she falls and hurts herself, saying "That hurt, didn't it?" instead of telling her it didn't hurt and to stop crying, or trying to distract her. It drives me NUTS when dh starts rough-housing and messing around trying to get her to stop crying. I tell him if I fell down and cracked my head, I would cry too! And for babies of this age, I don't think it's at all inappropriate for them to get upset when something they want is taken away.

Anyway, I don't know if this helps, but I believe it's very important to act as a mirror to my daughter, so she grows up feeling comfortable, secure and "okay" with her emotions, instead of confused because she felt one way and I tried to tell her to feel another way.
 

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Discussion Starter · #10 ·
Quote:

Originally Posted by Shanana
I wouldn't say dd does all-out trantrums, but she will let me know if she's upset about having something taken away, etc. My whole life, my parents always invalidated my feelings and told me I was "overreacting" (when I was reacting VERY normally to having an insane and emotionally abusive mother and codependent father), so I never shush her, or try to distract her or tell her it's "okay" or "no big deal". Instead, I always try to reflect her feelings back to her, saying things like, "You're upset because you can't play with the phone, aren't you?" I do the same thing when she falls and hurts herself, saying "That hurt, didn't it?" instead of telling her it didn't hurt and to stop crying, or trying to distract her. It drives me NUTS when dh starts rough-housing and messing around trying to get her to stop crying. I tell him if I fell down and cracked my head, I would cry too! And for babies of this age, I don't think it's at all inappropriate for them to get upset when something they want is taken away.

Anyway, I don't know if this helps, but I believe it's very important to act as a mirror to my daughter, so she grows up feeling comfortable, secure and "okay" with her emotions, instead of confused because she felt one way and I tried to tell her to feel another way.
Very helpful, thank you!!!
 

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Quote:

Originally Posted by Shanana
I wouldn't say dd does all-out trantrums, but she will let me know if she's upset about having something taken away, etc. My whole life, my parents always invalidated my feelings and told me I was "overreacting" (when I was reacting VERY normally to having an insane and emotionally abusive mother and codependent father), so I never shush her, or try to distract her or tell her it's "okay" or "no big deal". Instead, I always try to reflect her feelings back to her, saying things like, "You're upset because you can't play with the phone, aren't you?" I do the same thing when she falls and hurts herself, saying "That hurt, didn't it?" instead of telling her it didn't hurt and to stop crying, or trying to distract her. It drives me NUTS when dh starts rough-housing and messing around trying to get her to stop crying. I tell him if I fell down and cracked my head, I would cry too! And for babies of this age, I don't think it's at all inappropriate for them to get upset when something they want is taken away.

Anyway, I don't know if this helps, but I believe it's very important to act as a mirror to my daughter, so she grows up feeling comfortable, secure and "okay" with her emotions, instead of confused because she felt one way and I tried to tell her to feel another way.
YES! really good advice Shanana!

eta: bea does the hair and chest tugging too. i think it's just a sensory thing...sort of exploring her body.
 

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Oh, yes. I remember the first time dd1 did this. I called it the "protest." I took away some pretty stationary cards she liked. She was probably about 5 months old, just old enough to be sitting up on my hip. And it only got "better" from there!
 

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One of my twins had fits as young as 8 months if you took something from her she wanted. The other didn't care. Rivka is over 1 and I haven't seen a tantrum from her yet (I'm sure now there will be one today LMAO)
 
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