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Discussion Starter · #1 ·
Watching 'mainstream' parents on TV? I'm kinda new to all the AP stuff...I'm just beginning to notice this!

Like this morning, watching a show about moms with twins while getting ready for work....one scene was mom (dad away in military) and neighbor with newborn twins, mom is trying to eat, babies are crying......and the neighbor is sitting there bouncing the seat.......I'm thinking "PICK THAT BABY UP!"

And another scene was a mom pregnant with twins with a set of 2/yo twins saying how hard it was to get the 2/yo twins to go to bed......they wanted Mommy with them. Um........the 'old pre-kid' me never would've said this, but easy solution, FAMILY BED they'll get sick of it eventually.......or a mat in your room anyway.
 

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Yeah, it gets bothersome. I see and hear it in real life too. I try to understand that other people may have other things going on and I don't have any idea why they're doing things the way they are. Also, I have a 3.5 year old who has never been easy to get to bed and my 1 year old is starting to be the same way. We've always had a family bed. So, the family bed doesn't make it easier to get them to sleep.
 

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recent IRL frustration like that - friend brought her one month old over to see my newborn and brought dinner, etc. Her baby was fussing because she was hungry, and she said 'I told you if you let me eat then you'll get to eat' or something like that. I just wanted to scream shouldn't it be the other way around?
 

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Discussion Starter · #4 ·
I know just because they sleep with you doesn't mean they go to sleep easier--for some........just that this particular mom was complaining how hard it is to get them to go to bed in their own beds alone. What about trying a bed for both of them, or how some people have their child in a bed in the same room? just a thought. They'll outgrow that need eventually.

This morning, I'm reading in a magazine 'what nobody told you about newborn crying'

quote: 'That I'd have such a hard time putting my first down to cry it out. All I wanted to do was run in there, pick her up, and rock her to sleep. You'd think I'd develop a thicker skin with my second, but I haven't!' :p:p:p
Maybe because this is a basic human instinct? babies cry because it's SUPPOSED To cause that reaction in the mama!!

I was just thinking about something yesterday too, I think last night as I was falling asleep with my baby.....it's an evolutionist thought, but....look at any other mammal. Where is the baby when it's in the 'nursing' phase? WITH THE MAMA. A mama cat doesn't go sleep in some other corner and wait till she hears crying kittens to feed them.
Obviously, animals parent entirely by instinct.......a lot of *people* would be better off parenting by their instinct too.
 

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I don't like the eating thing, babies always come first when it comes to eating. Somedays I wait hours before I can get my lunch in. But with the baby crying yes I normally would think you would pick the baby yup until I meet my Megan. There are some days where she prefers to be put down, especially when she's sleepy. She gets extremely cranky when I hold her and when I put her down she calms down and lulls herself to sleep. I know she's probably not the norm for a baby though.
 

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Melanie, if you haven't read it already, you'd love "The Continuum Concept" by Jean Leidloff. i'm always thinking in terms of evolution, also! like, the last few hundred years of "unevolved change" doesn't mean we're not still mammals ... we still have primal needs, it's just that in industrialized societies, the "scientific method" prevails and our primal needs get pushed to the wayside.

the only tv i watch is those home improvement shows, or movies. i just can't stand mainstream parenting on tv anymore, even in commercials. (like the one where the mom uses the baby's lotion because it's so soft ... so she removes the baby who is sleeping peacefully in a man's arms, puts the baby in a crib, then goes in and lays in the man's arms. yes, i know they're saying "your skin will be soft as a baby's" but why couldn't they have her just sit on his lap under his other arm?? *urg*)

somewhere in the last 100 years, it became "normal" to detach from your child and to parent it from as much a distance as possible. why carry a baby when you can use a swing, a bouncer, an exersaucer, a walker? why nurse or bottle-nurse a baby when you can prop the bottle? why sleep with a wiggly, sweaty baby when you can put them in another room and listen in with a monitor, or even watch them on a tv camera?

*blarg!* <--- the sound of me getting uppity
 

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Quote:

Originally Posted by zakers_mama
I know just because they sleep with you doesn't mean they go to sleep easier--for some........just that this particular mom was complaining how hard it is to get them to go to bed in their own beds alone. What about trying a bed for both of them, or how some people have their child in a bed in the same room? just a thought. They'll outgrow that need eventually.
Yes. I understand what you're saying and my advice to anyone who has trouble getting their children to sleep alone would be to try co-sleeping. My dd is just one of those kids who has trouble winding down no matter what. To the people who say that they'll never leave the family bed of room...."Yeah, I'm so sure they'll be sleeping with us when they're teenagers. You know how those teens are, always wanting to be with their parents." :LOL
 

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Totally! Right now "People" has Britany Spears on the cover. Apparently the article talks about her being pregnant. The caption reads something about "ice cream & pickles cravings". I just go
: every time I walk past that darn cover. :LOL Now, I'm not saying that some women don't in fact have those cravings, but I've never personally met one who did.

I also detest any show Dr Phil does on co-sleeping. He's VERY against it, and inevitably it's always some couple on where the DH is complaining that the the DW wants their 2 yr old (who of course is WAY too old to be sleeping with them supposedly) in bed with them so they're not having sex. Um...I'm sorry, but having your kids co-sleep doesn't stop you from having sex if you really want to have it. Not only are there other places besides the bed, but you can do what we do & start your kid out in another spot (we use the pack n' play across the hall) then move them back in when you're done or when they wake. Those episodes should be addressing the underlying issue in the marriage that is keeping the Mom from wanting to have sex, not treating the kid in the bed as the cause of the problem IMHO.

Also, just the morning I had a good friend of mine who's in her 60's tell me I needed to just put DD down in a room where I couldn't hear her so I could get some packing done (we're moving this weekend)!
I love this woman, but needless to say I wasn't impressed with her advice on this one.

Sorry...guess this was as touchy spot for me huh?


Holly
 

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Yup makes me wanna :puke
 

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Discussion Starter · #10 ·
mellybean said:
Melanie, if you haven't read it already, you'd love "The Continuum Concept" by Jean Leidloff.

I have *GOT* to get to the library!


somewhere in the last 100 years, it became "normal" to detach from your child and to parent it from as much a distance as possible. why carry a baby when you can use a swing, a bouncer, an exersaucer, a walker? why nurse or bottle-nurse a baby when you can prop the bottle? why sleep with a wiggly, sweaty baby when you can put them in another room and listen in with a monitor, or even watch them on a tv camera?

I KNOW!! My baby fell out of bed
last week, first thing my friend says is 'well you should start putting him in his crib'
But he doesn't SLEEP in his crib! I *have* tried it, he stays asleep about half an hour! And no, he WON'T go back to sleep on his own in there, I've listened to him up and playing and then he'll start to cry. And NO I don't do CIO. Besides that, I LIKE snuggling with my 8 month old baby, it will be soon enough when he WANTS his own space.
I think the LAST thing a baby needs is to CIO.......as Dr. Sears says, "what is 'IT" anyway?"

Also, for anyone who's ever read a basic college-level child development book, *every* theory begins with a baby having to learn to trust the adults in their lives to meet their needs before they are ready to start to learn some independence.

Anyway....yeah, my son has the swing and the jumper. He's a baby who likes some of his own space.....actually now that he can crawl and all that of course he'd rather be free, so those two things have been relegated to 'but Mommy's the only one home and I REALLY have to pee!' spots LOL. They have their place, their place is not to be the babysitter 24/7
 

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Quote:

Originally Posted by janerose

He's VERY against it, and inevitably it's always some couple on where the DH is complaining that the the DW wants their 2 yr old (who of course is WAY too old to be sleeping with them supposedly) in bed with them so they're not having sex.
Funny, this was my dh when our dd1 was a newborn. Also funny how co-sleeping/no sex complaints stopped when I went back to work and he had to get up with her.

Dr Phil really is evil isn't he. I like the on where he rags on a couples spending habits warning them that they'll need that $ to pay for diapers and formula for their baby on the way.

: sometimes I do eat before baby though, I gotta stay hydrated and fed or I'm no good to anyone. I wouldn't if she were starving, but if she's just fussing a bit I might hold her off while I gobble something down.
 

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Yeah, I never knew how infuriating the TV ads wuold be unti lI had a babe of my own! I totaly agree with AP and it is working for me and my family.
I just CAN'T STAND to see babies crying all the time when I am out.
Their parents simply ignore them or yell at them! I was at Target today with my baby in the sling and we were looking at the toys. TWO MAMAS of two different babies said something like "Oh, I just loved my baby when she was your age...Now she's a monster!" Their babies were about two years old and perfectly aware of what their Mommy was saying. I felt so bad for them...Grrr...
 

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Quote:

Originally Posted by ladybugchild77
TWO MAMAS of two different babies said something like "Oh, I just loved my baby when she was your age...Now she's a monster!" Their babies were about two years old and perfectly aware of what their Mommy was saying. I felt so bad for them...Grrr...
THIS really gets me wound up! I am so stunned by the way some people treat/discuss their children - as if they'd rather not have them at this point.

Jen
 

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sometimes i do think "pick that baby up" or "well, duh, kids sometimes need cuddling in bed, too", and other times i remember to curb my judgment and give the parent(s) the benefit of doubt that they are doing the best with the information they have at the time. we only see a snippet of their lives and can be prone to extrapolating their entire parenting schema. i would not want to be judged by one situation with my son.

just a thought...

~claudia
 

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Quote:

Originally Posted by TurboClaudia
sometimes i do think "pick that baby up" or "well, duh, kids sometimes need cuddling in bed, too", and other times i remember to curb my judgment and give the parent(s) the benefit of doubt that they are doing the best with the information they have at the time. we only see a snippet of their lives and can be prone to extrapolating their entire parenting schema. i would not want to be judged by one situation with my son.

just a thought...

~claudia
I agree 100%...I do think that it is legit to openly and vocally criticize media images though. Like it or not, media is highly influential in how our culture parents.
 

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Quote:

Originally Posted by natashaccat
: sometimes I do eat before baby though, I gotta stay hydrated and fed or I'm no good to anyone. I wouldn't if she were starving, but if she's just fussing a bit I might hold her off while I gobble something down.
ITA. My son is a long nurser and he will only nap after nursing (and only in my arms). So before I nurse him, I know I am going to be down with him for awhile. I need to scarf down my food and pee before I get the Boppy and settle down with him on the couch for a nursing session. That way he can nurse as long as he wants and he can get a cat nap in my arms afterwards!
 

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Quote:

Originally Posted by TurboClaudia
sometimes i do think "pick that baby up" or "well, duh, kids sometimes need cuddling in bed, too", and other times i remember to curb my judgment and give the parent(s) the benefit of doubt that they are doing the best with the information they have at the time. we only see a snippet of their lives and can be prone to extrapolating their entire parenting schema. i would not want to be judged by one situation with my son.

just a thought...

~claudia
Of course I try not to pass judgement as well becasue we all have bad days...I just felt so sorry for these children becasue the way their moms looked at them was with such annoyyance and almost disgust. It just makes me wonder why they had a baby in the first place...I didn't mean anything by my previous post...
 
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