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You know how many parenting books tell you to "catch" your kids being "good" i.e. sharing, being kind, etc. and to compliment your kids i.e. "I feel reallly good when you share your blocks with your brother" etc....

Well... EVERY. Single. Time. I do this, no matter HOW I word it (and I've tried four thousand million different wordings) when I mention to them that I am proud of them or that I appreciate that they are doing xyz, within two minutes they are at each others throats attempting to annihilate the other.

In a way it's kind of funny (yes, in a sick sort of way), but I'm really baffled as to WHY they do this.... especially since my older ds is a fan of asking "did I do a good job at xyz mama?" or "was it a good thing for me to share abc with brother?"

It's seriously made me loathe to comment on their behavior AT ALL LOL.

Just curious if anyone else has experienced this phenomenon.
 

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mine are now 13 and 17 but yes, yes yes ... every time .. I finally stopped praising because every time it resulted in opposite behavior. I have learned reading here about praising being a manipulation anyway, and I try to keep manipulation out of my life as much as I possibly can. I guess its our kids way of saying " you are not going to manipulate me" lol ... smart kids
 
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