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Discussion Starter · #1 ·
x-posted in life w/ a babe/not sure which forum suits best

Is it possible for an almost 11 month old to have a tantrum? My dd(very, very high needs) seems to have a melt down once in a while. Times when we take her away from something dangerous or she grabs something that she can't play(again b/c its not safe) she screams at the top of her lungs and throws herself around. NOTE(we do everything we can to avoid situations where this may happen, for example the house is completly baby proofed and I try to make sure that things that aren't safe she can't get a hold of etc... but you sometimes it just happens.) What I usually do when this happens is hold her and try to distract her w/ something else and just talk softly to her that we are going to go do something else(not that she understands or maybe she sort of does, I don't know??) Does this sound normal and like a good way to handle it?

Also something else she does sometimes and I'm not sure why is she hits herself in the head and pulls her hair. Also when she is naked she will pull the skin really hard on her chest/stomach. I figured it was normal but wanted see if anyone elses babe does that?
 

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Well, yep, it sounds like your dd is starting to tell you more actively her preferences and needs, and that's great! She's expressing her frustration just as you might about something that upsets you (though you might not rip your hair out...).

I would acknowledge her feelings, not try to distract her right away, empathize with her, explain to her why you had to take away the item, give her some love and then help her find something else interesting to focus on when she's ready. There's no time like the present to help her start learning about identifying her own emotions. Frustration for a growing baby is very - frustrating! Maybe you could try to reevaluate and minimize the situations where you *have to* say no. Some of these dangerous items - could you hold them with her and show her how they work?

About the behavior - my baby (now almost 2) likes to try to pull his skin off too, and has been known to hit himself in anger, but also in play. Someone else might have more to say on this subject.

My rule of thumb lately is, "how would I feel if" - basically putting myself in my children's shoes.

Enjoy exploring with your dd!
 

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Discussion Starter · #4 ·
Thank you...it helps to hear from other mamas that understand..and yes I think I need to work better on making sure there aren't as many "no's" even though I rarely use that word....but I know what you mean


But the hitting herself/hair pulling doesn't seem to be related to the tantrums...?? Maybe she is just exploring her body and soon she will learn that she hurts herself when she does it
 

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Discussion Starter · #6 ·
lol-I guess not if she keeps doing it

I just thought of an example of something that could make her have a tantrum that I cannot control.....if she sees the cat and she starts to pet her and then the cat runs away and Natalee will freak out-lol

I am glad she is so expressive, she takes after her Mama and grandma
 

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"you're upset, you wanted to the cat and she walked away. That's frustrating. Shall we pet your stuffed kitty?/shall we go see where the kitty went/would you like to pet me behind the ears?" (you pretend to be a kitty)

There are going to be so, so many things in her life you can't control or even influence. It's okay to let her have her emotions; it's not your responsiblity to save her from them (and it wouldn't be healthy for her anyway) kwim? If you give her some empathy and love her gently through the hard times, I think she'll learn to work with her feelings just fine.
 

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Discussion Starter · #8 ·
Quote:

Originally Posted by sphinx
There are going to be so, so many things in her life you can't control or even influence. It's okay to let her have her emotions; it's not your responsiblity to save her from them (and it wouldn't be healthy for her anyway) kwim? If you give her some empathy and love her gently through the hard times, I think she'll learn to work with her feelings just fine.
Thank you so much, sometimes I forget that!!
 
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