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does this sound safe to you?

642 Views 4 Replies 5 Participants Last post by  Geofizz
Hi all,
My almost 1-year-old ds mostly co-sleeps with us, but since he was about 5 months old, we've been putting him to sleep in his crib for the first part of the night, and then he usually wakes up about 10:30 and we bring him into our bed. We've liked having him spend the first part of the night in the crib so we don't have to worry about waking him up when we go to bed ourselves--we've also liked having a little bit of adult time. He also usually takes naps in his crib--unless I'm tired enough to lie down and snooze with him in our big bed.

So here's the deal: recently, he just refuses to get into his crib. He seems to be relaxed and ready to sleep, but as soon as he feels my dh or me (usually me) bending over to put him down, he stiffens and kicks his legs and gets wide-awake again.

We have a futon on the floor of his room, and lately for naps I've been putting him down on the futon, and then keeping a close ear out for him to stir. Tonight I got inspired to try putting him down on the futon for his first sleep shift of the night, too. That way, I can lie down with him and nurse and cuddle him to sleep, and then we don't have the dreaded crib transfer to contend with. Usually when he wakes up on the futon he crawls toward his door crying, anyway, so I figure we'll hear him pretty fast when he wakes up and can go get him at that point. We put up a safety gate in the doorway just in case.

My question: does this sound safe? Would you feel about going to sleep with your child sleeping in the next room in this way? (I'm actually not sure I will, but I just wasn't getting anywhere with that durned crib.) Any suggestions for how to make it safer, or why we shouldn't be doing it this way? Thanks much!
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I think it sounds just fine, and I can relate to your situation too. I do think it depends on the setup of your house, however. When I put my babe to sleep on the floor (we did this for a while when she was having trouble being put down) I was in the next room, kept her door open, and could hear any whimper. I was always able to attend to her immediately if she woke or stirred. We have lived in several places since DD was born, and I've always put her down in either the same room as me, or the next room. If you have to be further away, I would make sure the room is totally babyproofed, and I'd probably get a baby monitor, just to make sure I knew when baby woke up.
I never had a crib with dd's. DS likes to sleep by himself which I think is so weird. I think your ideas are great. I second the monitor. I fell asleep downstairs last night and DS was in his crib. He was hysterical when I heard him. I know he wasn't crying long. Maybe a minute but I felt so bad because I always get him immediately. I guess what I'm saying is it depends on how far the room is. Maybe get rid of the crib and put the futon in your room if it's baby proof and it works for you or just use a monitor.
That sounds like what we've been doing. I put dd's crib mattress on the floor next to our bed (between the bed and the wall so she couldn't roll off). At night I nurse her to sleep there and sneak away, then later she comes to bed with dh and I when she wakes up. Our bedroom is on the second floor and the living room is on the first floor, so we have a monitor so I can hear her if she wakes up before I go to bed. We also keep the bedroom door closed in case she crawls around before I hear her or get there, which has happened only twice. It's worked well for us.
That sounds exactly like what we do. About half the time we set KAren down in the crib at night, the other half of the time she's on the mattress on the floor in her room. I commute between my bed and hers all night. Sometimes if I fall asleep there, I just stay, otherwise I head back to bed.

We started by completely babyproofing the room:

We have the dresser and bookcase anchored to the wall. The monitor is on top of the dresser but has to be plugged into the outlet at floor level. The cord is tacked to the wall and the outlet itself has a cover on it so that Karen can't get to the plug. The crib has a lever at foot level, so the other thing we have to do is make sure the crib gate is in the down position if she's in there by herself.

The arrangement works well for us!
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