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Doulas, CBE's and especially midwives: Does your family support/respect what you do?? I am curious because I am currently studying to be a CBE, but in a midwifery program because I wanted a wider curriculum, and <i>my</i> family isn't supportive at all of what I am studying for and what I want to do. (I eventually would like to be a midwife)<br><br>
I know that we don't need anyone's approval of what we do because we are doing it for moms and babies and no one else, but I strongly feel like if I was attending a 4 year university they would respect me more. My mom, grandparents, and aunts all kind of roll their eyes if someone mentions my schooling or what I will be doing. I guess it shouldn't really matter, but midwifery curriculum is hard work that you have to be dedicated to! and I don't like being treated like what I am passionate about means nothing.<br><br>
Are your families supportive of what we are all passionate about?
 

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My family is very supportive. They think it's really neat. Even though my husband thinks I'm becoming some sort of hippie. LOL
 

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My husband is increadibly supportive.... to the point of really pushing me along through any self doubts. He really understands that my calling is to work in birth and while he is completely uninterested in it himself, he really encourages me.<br><br>
My other family... well, not so much. My parents think that I am making these jobs up. They really can't understand that there is a type of midwifery where one doesn't go to nursing school. They don't see the education I am getting as real because it isn't a 4 year university and they really don't get that my apprenticeship is a real learning experience.... because it isn't in a hospital. My sisters tend to kind of follow that train of thought. Oh, and my parents really think I am making up the job of a doula. They can't believe that anyone would pay me to come to their births as a support person (in their eyes, that is what the doctors and nurses are there for).<br><br>
Soooooo, I am so happy that I have the support of my husband because his support is really all that matters. Oh, and my oldest daughter is a big supporter too. She just wants me to take pictures of the babies for her to see and she wants to hear about if it was a little boy or little girl and then she always wants to here her own birth story<img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="/img/vbsmilies/smilies/loveeyes.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="Loveeyes">: So, my family is wonderful to me!
 

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Is DH supportive? B/c IMO, he's the only one that matters-and his support is ESSENTIAL. He's the one who will deal with child care issues and you having to take off at wierd hours.<br><br>
Everyone else can just cope. Though I don't get why, as chanda says, they DON't think it's neat. But maybe that's because I don't get why everyone is not as passionate as I am about this... <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/lol.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="lol"><br><br>
It sounds like maybe the women (and grandparents) in your family don't value education?<br><br>
Jennifer
 

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My extended family was supportive at the time of my degrees. My FIL in particular loves to tell everyone that I am a midwife. (I don't like people socially to know, though, so I'm forever telling him to be quiet <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/lol.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="lol"> ) My dh also was supportive, although I think that he got tired after a few years. He didn't like the conversations at parties turning to vaginal bleeding or labor or perineums or what-not.<br><br>
Now that I'm a SAHM, however, my family is much, much, much more supportive. So, it shows me that even in their support, they could have been more so, if that makes any more sense.
 

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My family is super supportive. DH is my biggest cheerleader and even finds me clients from time to time after they hear his schpeel on homebirth <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/smile.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="smile"> We lived away from our families while I was training and started my practice and have just recently moved back to our home state - and both families have been very supportive. My mom especially - who will take my babe when I need to attend a family. They will probably all come around -
 

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For the most part, yes. DH understands that this is something I "have" to do, that I'm called to it, even though it isn't exactly high-paying. We love to joke about all the things we will do when we get rich and retire off the "doula monies" <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/lol.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="lol"> .<br><br>
I found this work in the midst of a masters degree in a much more traditional and technology-focused field. In the end I left the degree program without finishing, and with that also left behind a more lucrative and more "prestigious" career path. I know this was confusing to a lot of my family but I have them reasonably well trained to keep it to themselves if they know what's good for them <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/lol.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="lol"> . DH's grandma couldn't get it through her head for awhile that this was not a stepping stone for me into nursing, which was a "good job for a woman" when she was in her working days. I just said no, I had no plans to be a nurse, because I knew she would never get it, while in my head I just rolled my eyes and thought, "Yeah, like I want into that nightmare." <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/orngtongue.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="Stick Out Tongue"> No offense to any nurses here, I love, LOVE the great nurses that I meet, but it is a hard job with lots of paperwork and politics, which is precisely why I could never do it.
 

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You know, I think it's all in the eye of the beholder! My dh was thrilled when I told him I wanted to be a birthworker (I believe the exact quote is, "Well, it's about TIME you finally did something with all of that birth stuff rattling around in your head!!!"). My own extended family thinks it's awesome...then again, I come from a family where my mom and each of her six sisters and then her six sisters in-law (yes, thirteen kids), as well as her mother and her aunts ALL had babies naturally and breastfed them all till they self-weaned. Yup, they were ALL freaks in their time! *grin* So I'm just following suit, living the way I know. And they brag about their doula niece who's gonna be a midwife and teaches childbirth ed classes to low-income women for free. On the other hand, my in-laws. Well, they're a whole different breed of people. When one sister in-law found out I'd been doing doula work for a year, she immediately went into a dissertation about why she HAD to have a cesarean (see why I never told her?) (oh, and, yes, she HAD to have a cesarean because she was sick of being pregnant and her doc induced her with pit at 38 weeks and the baby crashed...she she DID have to have a cesarean, but only because she was horribly out of shape and had eaten poorly to boot and was terribly uncomforable because of poor decisions SHE'd made...). But I don't get into that discussion with her, so I just listened, nodded, and smiled. My husband's parents? They have a daughter who's a nurse. So, if I'm not a NURSE midwife, it just doesn't count, and I'll never be as "all knowing" as their daughter. She agrees.<br><br>
We just don't ever talk about what I do with that side of the family. I NEVER EVER EVER, would rather bring my kids with me than ask them to watch my kids in a pinch--EVER ask them to take care of my kids so I can go to a birth. Because I don't have a valid job...basically they think I exist to torture poor, un-educated women who COULD have just had an epidural, if it weren't for me!<br><br>
BUT, my side of the family supports me, including my dh, so that is what counts!
 

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Discussion Starter #10
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<div>Originally Posted by <strong>jengacnm</strong> <a href="/community/forum/post/7895356"><img alt="View Post" class="inlineimg" src="/community/img/forum/go_quote.gif" style="border:0px solid;"></a></div>
<div style="font-style:italic;">Is DH supportive? B/c IMO, he's the only one that matters-and his support is ESSENTIAL. He's the one who will deal with child care issues and you having to take off at wierd hours.</div>
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Yes, DH is very supportive and interested in what I will be doing. <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/love.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="love">
 

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My partner and sister support me and my chosen family too. My father OTOH doesn't actually know what I do (he just thinks hb is mad business and that my c-sec was saving my life yada yada yada. Yep, that's why we both came home the same day as the surgery, we were lifethreateningly ill...) and despite seeing the pics, tells people my daughter was born in a hospital. Um yeah and they let me take my cat in to pose in the background of the newborn baby pics <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/lol.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="lol">
 
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