Mothering Forum banner

1 - 20 of 23 Posts

·
Registered
Joined
·
430 Posts
Discussion Starter · #1 ·
My 3 yo is constantly with me all day. I don't go to the bathroom alone, even! And she has to be talking to me nonstop - asking the same questions and things she already knows the answers to. I'm going insane!! I can't even talk to anyone else - dh, somebody on the phone - without her butting in and asking questions about what we're talking about. She feels the need to know everything we say, stuff that's not directed at her. Why won't she just go play with something for ten minutes??? Her toys get practically no use unless I'm playing with them with her!<br><br>
Ah, well... at least it's given her a great vocabulary. <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/lol.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="lol">:<br>
And isn't there the opposite problem when they become teens? I guess I should appreciate it now!
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
925 Posts
DD has gotten better over the past year. She'll be 4 in Aug. If I can get her involved in cutting and gluing, I have a lot more time to do stuff I need to do.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
3,802 Posts
In the tail end of 3 and now that she is 4 she finally plays on her own. Sometimes. <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/smile.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="smile">
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
8,753 Posts
Not at three! At 5 and 6, he does but he checks in frequently.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
3,479 Posts
My dd is almost 4 and she rarely plays by herself. It's definitely not a daily thing and I never know when it will happen. It just sort of happens and I make sure not to go to her room and ask her what she's doing b/c that messes it up.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
132 Posts
Yep, it really changed around 4 for us as well. Before that he would NEVER play alone. I do find he does better alone with "busy" projects. Otherwise, he'll come looking for me as soon as he gets bored.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
567 Posts
I expected alone play to happen at 3 and it really didn't, not until 4. One thing you can do is start out playing together and then sort of slip away. It doesn't last long at 3, but you'll get a few minutes alone. This works best with something quiet and not too "role play," like Duplo blocks or something.<br><br>
Also, set up your kid *near* you with paints or collage materials lets you cook or whatever while still talking to her. I used to do this just about every evening.
 

·
Registered
3
Joined
·
3,771 Posts
My son could happily play alone for long periods of time from a very early age. My little girl still needs constant one-on-one attention and she's 7 1/2!
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
122 Posts
My DD (5.5) never plays by herself. She will play really well with her siblings but never by herself. My other two, DD (4) and DS (2) do play very well by themselves. And she talks non-stop too. I just try to include her in what I'm doing, like emptying the dishwasher or cooking or doing laundry. I let her spray the window cleaner the other day while I cleaned them and she was so happy. LOL. Art projects work well too as do play doh. I never talk on the phone. They wont let me. I text and e-mail everyone. It's just easier for me. She likes to be in on everything too. I get frustrated but that is exactly how I was as a child so I'm trying to be better about it. She just wants to be included. My DH is much better with her than I am sadly. She can make my blood boil in 2 seconds. It's hard but I take it day by day. I'm going to let her call her friends this summer, so I can get a break from the non-stop talking. LOL.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
1,872 Posts
Yes, she does, and has for the better part of age 3. Now, when you say alone, I am assuming you don't mean, like in another room alone with no supervision - that's not what I mean. I mean she'll take herself to her toy area & start a game or puzzle or imaginary play while I'm in the room, or within hearing distance (because she likes to talk to me while she's playing) - like in the kitchen.<br><br>
My daughter does do a lot of imaginary play while I'm folding laundry or nursing her brother, etc. But we're often included in her storytelling - or she'll give us a prop then continue playing & "check in", etc.<br><br>
She also LOVES any kind of crafts: painting, drawing, cutting, pasting, stickers, stamps - you name it, she'll get into it for at least a half hour, or more, depending on how well she's set up, and she doesn't require my company to do this.<br><br>
She also reads a lot on her own - she actually prefers this now to me sitting & reading with her & will spell out the words to me across the room that she doesn't recognize.<br><br>
I think I big reason she's more comfortable on her own now than she was, say, at 2, is because of the birth of her brother when she was 2.5... she really learned to "entertain herself" in a way. Not that I wasn't ever THERE, but obviously with a newborn or young baby, you can't be fully present & involved, even when you're physically close. We save his naptimes for one-on-one mommy-daughter time, and usually pick something that we can't do when baby is sleeping - like playing a boardgame, etc.<br><br>
Wow, that was a long post, sorry! <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/wink1.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="wink1">
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
1,872 Posts
<div style="margin:20px;margin-top:5px;">
<div class="smallfont" style="margin-bottom:2px;">Quote:</div>
<table border="0" cellpadding="6" cellspacing="0" width="99%"><tr><td class="alt2" style="border:1px inset;">
<div>Originally Posted by <strong>waiflywaif</strong> <a href="/community/forum/post/11585032"><img alt="View Post" class="inlineimg" src="/community/img/forum/go_quote.gif" style="border:0px solid;"></a></div>
<div style="font-style:italic;">Also, set up your kid *near* you with paints or collage materials lets you cook or whatever while still talking to her. I used to do this just about every evening.</div>
</td>
</tr></table></div>
<img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="/img/vbsmilies/smilies/yeahthat.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="yeah that">:
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
335 Posts
my ds is very happy playing on his own for quite long periods. For example now he has been happily playing and chattering to himself for the past 40 minutes...he's 2.5 and I feel quite lucky! There are times he is glued to me too and can be non-stop demands/requests and I have no way of knowing what I'm going to get at any given time. I cherish my time alone and maybe he is similar in character?<br><br>
Zoe, mama to Thomas 1-06
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
3,221 Posts
My 3YO (almost--1 week) is much like th OP's DD. I'm finding it's a tough transition, too, from daycare to summer vacation (I'm a teacher). And when I say tough, I mean more for me! <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/lol.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="lol"><br><br>
Anyway, someone mentioned setting her up near you. I agree with this. We have a peninsula counter with stools in our kitchen, and it's also the counter that I cook on. I keep a nice looking basket at one end filled with crayons, water colors, safety scissors and paper/coloring books. I set her up on one side of the counter with whatever project, and then I can cook or work in the kitchen.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
3,785 Posts
DS, 5yo, plays by himself all the time. He'll go into his room to put something away or to get something and he'll end up playing by himself for an hour! He's an only child, for another 6 months, so he's gottne quite used to entertaining himself. There are days when I HAVE to play with him all day but at least I get a break.<br><br>
I agree, get her involved in a project that will take a little time to finish so you can get a few minutes to yourself.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
430 Posts
Discussion Starter · #15 ·
Thanks for the replies. I have found that sometimes she's occupied by playing in the other side of the kitchen sink while I do dishes. I recently taught her how to use the mouse on the computer, and I found a couple websites that she will play on for 20 minutes or so. She's not that occupied with art projects... I want to encourage them, but I don't think she's got the motor skills. She can't really cut anything, and she just wants my help with gluesticks. She'd rather I draw pictures for her, and I want to let her be creative and see what she can come up with... she can draw a cat face pretty well now, so I'm hoping she will start to want to do more things w/ crayons and markers on her own as she gets her motor skills a little more developed.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
3,221 Posts
I know you said she can't cut anything, but I'm not sure what you mean by that--holding and working the scissors or cutting "productively." If it's just the latter, she might enjoy shredding the paper w/ preschool scissoors. Lucy's been using these for about 6 months and loves them:<br><br><a href="http://www.lakeshorelearning.com/seo/ca%7CproductSubCat~~p%7C2534374302090744~~f%7C/Assortments/Lakeshore/ShopByCategory/artscrafts/scissorspunches.jsp" target="_blank">Preschool scissors</a>
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
7,963 Posts
I think sometimes you have to insist that they learn to play on their own. Maybe set a timer or say "at X o'clock we can play together again, but mama needs a little break".
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
430 Posts
Discussion Starter · #18 ·
<div style="margin:20px;margin-top:5px;">
<div class="smallfont" style="margin-bottom:2px;">Quote:</div>
<table border="0" cellpadding="6" cellspacing="0" width="99%"><tr><td class="alt2" style="border:1px inset;">
<div>Originally Posted by <strong>staceychev</strong> <a href="/community/forum/post/11589125"><img alt="View Post" class="inlineimg" src="/community/img/forum/go_quote.gif" style="border:0px solid;"></a></div>
<div style="font-style:italic;">I know you said she can't cut anything, but I'm not sure what you mean by that--holding and working the scissors or cutting "productively." If it's just the latter, she might enjoy shredding the paper w/ preschool scissoors. Lucy's been using these for about 6 months and loves them:</div>
</td>
</tr></table></div>
She has a pair of scissors and can use them to make little one-inch cuts along the edge of a paper, but she's only entertained by that for about a minute. It seems like any new toy or activity is really enjoyed the first time, but after that she loses interest quickly.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
6,188 Posts
I agree with others. It's probably the age. In the next year or so I'm sure your child will start to play alone more.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
3,157 Posts
My 3.5 yo rarely plays by himself. It becomes really difficult because dh and I work opposite shifts. Doing something simple like making dinner and cleaning up after dinner can turn into hassles. Sadly, if it's something he can't really help with, I have had to resort to videos often. I have tried and tried to gently explain that he should find a fun toy to play with while I cook or I try to set him up with a project. This works maybe 20% of the time.<br><br>
I got some great advice about the drawing thing: don't make pictures of objects for them, they will just get frustrated that they can't make it, or ask you to draw instead of doing it themselves. Instead, just do free-from swirls, circles, lines etc, something that they are capable of doing. This has helped ds feel more at ease with the whole drawing thing.<br><br>
Also, it is not unusual for him to just cut up a piece of paper with no rhyme or reason. I also give him buttons, paper, and glue and let him go to town. I have learned to readjust my idea of "crafts", and not care about the mess.<br><br>
I hear ya though, sometimes I wonder why we have toys in this house at all.
 
1 - 20 of 23 Posts
Top