[Overthemoon]

I had a check up on Monday (we are down to weekly visits now). And she asked if I wanted her to check me, to which I said "no". She then said we can check next week if you want.
My OB never checked me until a week before my due date. This is my first MW experience. Is this normal to have them check you weekly in the last 3 or so weeks up to your due date? Is it better to not have her do so?

I feel pretty clueless about this.

 

[Nan'sMom]

I've had three homebirths and no internal exams during pregnancy or birthing. IMO no need for it, it can introduce infection, it seems like it might feel bad and it gives the healthcare provider a chance to mess around (e.g., my friend gave birth at a well-respected birth center and the midwife stripped her membranes without consent and accidentally caused her water to break). I say keep all midwife hands outta' there unless you have a really good reason to want them there!

 

[ChaoticMum]

Nope. No internals prior to labor. I had one at onset of labor with #2 and one when I was ready to push as I was very scared about a cervical lip (I had NO internal check with my 1st and had a cervical lip that caused A LOT of problems). I had one with #3 again because of that cervical lip - which I again had and the midwife held it out of the way til babe's head went past.

Other than that I refuse them. I have a friend who was 4cm dilated for 5 days before she went into labor - she still took 6hrs to have her babe. I was checked at onset with #2 and I was BARELY 1cm - I was holding my babe 4hrs later. I really think it has NO bearing at all on 'where you are' leading up to labor.

 

[MamaQuest]

My midwife for my first homebirth only checked dilation on request. She told me some moms request a lot as they get closer, but some moms really want none, period. I had her check me when she arrived at my house during labor. I was holding my baby an hour later. That was it. Unless I suspected I was very dilated and not feeling like it was labor, I would not want one. Even then, not sure if I'd want one. It tends to cause stress in me, either way (though that one check my MW did ended up being helpful, in her saying I was 9cm, and giving me hope that it wasn't just a bad day I was having, it was actually labor).

 

[sunflowergirll]

My midwives also do not perform VE unless something doesn't appear to be going right.

At my 37 week check, I asked to have a VE. My midwife refused, joking that there's "no crystal ball in there."

 

[layla983]

I'm guessing she ask just because some people really want to know for whatever reason. I had friends & family who were all freaked out last pregnancy because I never knew how far along I was diliated at the end. I had an OB who didn't check, never offered even, & it drove some people batty that I didn't get checked. My MIL actually asked DH why I was refusing, he told her I wasn't, then she said we needed to DEMAND to have my cervix checked at the next visit. I thought it was silly, because from what I've seen it makes no difference in when your baby comes. DH's friend & his wife found out at 38 weeks that she was 4cm, she spent the next week trying all these induction things, called the family in from out of town because she just KNEW she'd be in labor soon, went to the hospital several times requesting to be induced, they finally gave in a day before she turned 39 weeks. Then she ended up with a c-section that night for good ol' "failure to progress."

I'm not at that point yet, close but not there yet, & if my midwife offers I'll be taking a pass. It's up to you, but I personally find it totally pointless when it comes to labor. Even during labor I have very little interest in it.

 

[treehugginhippie]

My mw is a pretty hands off, relaxed & experienced mw. She asked at my 38 week appt if I wanted to be checked, which I declined. So yes, it is normal for them to ask. But, of course, you can choose not to

 

[mlec]

I don't see why she should check you. And I would not like to hear "we can next time." Clearly you know she could check you any time. You can just let her know if you would like to be (no reason till you're in labor, and maybe not even needed then, according to me!).

you might want to do a little reading up on all things pg and birth so that know enough to make your own decisions thru the whole process.

 

[Overthemoon]

Thanks girls!
As always you are a wealth of great info.
I think I'll forgo her checking me. I'm thinking maybe she may have suggested it because I was complaining a lot about how miserable I was and how I want to get the show on the road with delivering. So maybe it was her way of being able to tell me for sure "no Melissa the baby is not coming yet" LOL.

I appreciate your input!

 

[Veritaserum]

No, she didn't. My doc did, though, with my first. It means nothing.

 

[FiveLittleMonkeys]

My midwife with my first homebirth didn't check me at all. Our current midwife has offered to check me if I feel the need at the end. It will just depend on how I feel at the time if I have her do one or not.

I think it's normal for them to offer. You can certainly refuse if you wish - it really doesn't tell you anything concrete!

 

[devon]

My midwife doesn't like to but will if the patient asks. She does talk to them about how it doesn't mean anything, and asks how we will feel if it is more or less then we expect. With my past history, I asked to be checked at 38w which she did. She also encouraged me, if I wanted to, to perform self-checks at home (we practice NFP so I am comfortable with checking my cervix non-pregnancy). This also helped me with this labor.

I personally think, if a patient requests it and the midwife explains any risks and talks with mom about how she will feel with the results, that the midwife should NOT refuse to do it (unless ROM, etc has happened). But, I don't think it should be offered routinely.

 

[Quickbeam]

No way. I don't like internal exams and I never had a single one before or during labor. No thanks.

She would have done them if I'd asked.

 

[the_lissa]

No I had no internal exams until labour, and that was at my request.

 

[laohaire]

Mine did (with my permission). A few hours later my water broke

: I believe it was premature; labor was fickle and had to ba augmented. I'm certain my MW didn't strip my membranes (very crunchy lay midwife) but I do think her messing around in there accidentally did something to weaken/rupture the sac.

If there is a next time, no more checks for me.

 

[nashvillemidwife]

Quote:

Originally Posted by Overthemoon Is this normal to have them check you weekly in the last 3 or so weeks up to your due date?

Around here it's normal to offer, which sounds exactly like what she's done. Totally up to you to accept or decline.

 

[pjs]

I thought VE were worthless until my mw missed my last birth. In hindsight, at 41 w 6 days, I think it would have been worth something to have a VE the day my daughter was born. I had taken 2 doses of castor oil and was talking to my mw on the phone. I wished I had had her come and check me after the first dose. I probably would've been 6/7 prior to the 2nd dose and she could've stuck around. My labor was 1.5 hrs, so in my case, I think a VE would have been helpful, but having read so many threads where the idea that they're completely worthless is repeated, I just never thought of it. Of course, I guess I could have been 2 too, no way of knowing.

 

[nashvillemidwife]

Yeah, no way of knowing. A better approach for you would been to have assumed the castor oil was going to speed things up, regardless of the findings of the vaginal exam.

 

[hikingmommy]

My MW mentioned it once. I said I wasn't interested. We discussed it for the birth. She said she likes to check when the mother wants to push to make sure she's fully dilated, but otherwise she doesn't. I said that sounded fine.

 

[Full Heart]

I think it depends on the mw. Some will offer and others won't even check if you ask. My mw doesn't even like to check in labor.

With my first I was only checked at 41+4 and was 3 cm. I was having some issues like no fluid left and we really needed to get labor going. Or we wouldn't have checked. Still took me 3 days to have the baby.

With my 2nd I had one at 36 weeks cause I was having contractions. I was 4 cm and 100% effaced. I was moving that week. My mw told me not to lift anything. Of course I stayed that way till 42 weeks lol.

So sometimes there are reasons to check. But if everything is going well then I don't see the point.