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Discussion Starter · #1 ·
Hi,<br>
ds is 3 and usually does just fine about going to the bathroom. In the last week, we've had huge battles of wills because he refuses to go to the bathroom before doing something big (errand, nap) and then will have an accident 30 minutes or an hour later because he refused to pee.<br><br>
I've taken him and "held" him on the potty, but that feels just wrong and not being respectful. I have a 9 month old baby, and sometimes I can't get to him "in time."<br><br>
He's actually been peeing for a year this month, and doesn't wet the bed. I'm just really frustrated about this.
 

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We started EC at 10 months, DS was completely done with diapers by 19 months, and he was pottying independently by 23 months (except for wiping after poops). If our EC journey taught me anything, though, it was to never count on anything and to always be flexible. For some reason, after months of potty independence, DS has recently taken to yelling for me to help him when he has to go. Which is fine - it's just a little weird to be back in the loop again.<br><br>
Around the same time, DS also started resisting going potty at really inconvenient times - like before bed and before getting in the car. This morning, for instance, he woke up after sleeping for almost twelve hours and nursing several times during the night, and he insisted he didn't need to pee yet. We needed to leave for work immediately, so I took DS outside and walked around the yard with him, asking if he wanted to pee on this bush, that tree, etc. He finally picked a spot and went, and we were able to get in the car without worrying. I think he has difficulty with transitions (like waking up or going from one place to another), and sometimes that manifests as a refusal to go potty because he really just doesn't want to do whatever it is we're about to do.<br><br>
Here are a few of my other tried and true techniques:<br><br>
"Mama's going potty!" (Often, he will come running, saying "No, I go potty first!")<br>
"Mama's going potty - do you want to go before me or after me?"<br>
"I haven't seen you get up on the big toilet by yourself in a long time! I wonder if you can still do it!"<br>
"Why don't you sit on the potty (we keep one in the living room) while we put on your socks and shoes."<br>
Help a stuffed animal go potty, then say, "ok, now your turn." (You could do the same with his younger sibling if you want to try a little EC with the baby.)<br>
Set a timer and tell him that when it goes off, he should run to the toilet as fast as possible and go potty.<br>
If you have more than one toilet, have a potty "race" between yourself and him to see who can get done first.<br><br>
If DS hasn't peed by the time we're ready to leave the house, I try for an outdoor pee in our yard as described above. If that doesn't work (which is actually really rare), then we just get in the car and go. But as soon as we reach our destination, I make the bathroom our first stop. If he complains that he doesn't have to go, I say, "I know, but I do, and I need you to come with me." Usually, he willingly pees once we are there, but if not, I just have to keep my pee radar on high alert. We hit the restroom again before we leave the store, or see if he wants to pee on a bush or something before getting into the car.<br><br>
Also, EC taught me that communication is a really important part of the equation. So I'm trying to remember to discuss pottying with him at times that I'm not actually trying to get him to go. I'll say something like, "Remember last night when I wanted you to go potty before bed? Do you know why I wanted you to go? Mama and Dada always go potty before bed, and the reason is that it helps us sleep better. If we don't go potty before bed, we have to wake up and go to the bathroom in the middle of the night, and we don't like having to get out of our nice, warm bed. So even if you don't think you have to go potty, you should always try right before bed so that you can sleep better."<br><br>
Even though I thought we were "done" with EC months ago, I just keep reminding myself that kids often need some help with pottying for a long, long time. So I just try to get creative, remind myself that DS is doing really, really well for such a little guy, and treat him with as much respect and kindness as I possibly can.
 

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<div>Originally Posted by <strong>Bekka</strong> <a href="/community/forum/post/7939038"><img alt="View Post" class="inlineimg" src="/community/img/forum/go_quote.gif" style="border:0px solid;"></a></div>
<div style="font-style:italic;">Hi,<br>
ds is 3 and usually does just fine about going to the bathroom. In the last week, we've had huge battles of wills because he refuses to go to the bathroom before doing something big (errand, nap) and then will have an accident 30 minutes or an hour later because he refused to pee.<br><br>
I've taken him and "held" him on the potty, but that feels just wrong and not being respectful. I have a 9 month old baby, and sometimes I can't get to him "in time."<br><br>
He's actually been peeing for a year this month, and doesn't wet the bed. I'm just really frustrated about this.</div>
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</tr></table></div>
Do you know if he is in the "afraid/there's something scarry in there" stage? My ds won't go up the stairs by himself now. He's 3yo as well. I have to go up with him for him to go pee. I asked why & he said it's scarry up there mommy. Another time he said there was a tiger hiding up there.<br>
This just started last week.
 

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Discussion Starter · #4 ·
We have 3 potties, and one is on the main level and 2 are upstairs. We have tried all the above, including "when do you want to go," "when the clock says ___" (2 minutes), "can the train/bear/airplane watch you go potty", etc.<br><br>
It used to work for me to say "I can't read you a book until you go potty" (naptime) but he'll "read" a book to himself now and ignore me. I think that I need to just catch him when he's not quite so tired ... Even just recognizing that it's "me" as much as him and I can't be lazy ...<br><br>
No, he's not afraid of being up a level or down a level from me. I just have to be really thinking ahead/creative ahead of time, like before it's an "emergency."<br><br>
And thanks for responding! Even just discussing gives me more ideas.
 
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