Mothering Forum banner

1 - 20 of 26 Posts

·
Registered
Joined
·
2,673 Posts
Discussion Starter · #1 ·
I know surprisingly little about domestic adoption, as my heart has been on international adoption since I was a young teen. However, my Dh has said that he wants us to really consider domestic adoption -- fostering to adopt an infant or toddler.<br><br>
So. Can someone please help me get up to speed on this, to figure out if it is right for us. I have some concerns - one is that if a child is placed with us prior to termination of parental rights, the goal is reunification. My concern is not reunification itself, obviously I believe that's wholly desirable. I just don't know if <i>I</i> could handle that, emotionally, at this point in my life. I am sure that this is a common concern?<br><br>
In going into this wanting to only have children who are *able to be adopted* placed with us, is that unrealistic? (I know there are no guarantees! Even international adoptions sometimes fall through.)<br><br>
I will be doing some research on this tonight, but I would still appreciate any good resources and definitely any experience that you might have with fostering to adopt - and insights to help us figure out if this is for us.<br><br>
TIA!
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
276 Posts
I am not an adoption expert. I am only still learning myself and I've never adopted or fostered. But I think you can adopt domestically without doing foster to adopt. I got this idea from Adoptuskids.com. I think if you are wanting an infant the best way to go is foster-adopt. Just my uneducated opinion. <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/orngbiggrin.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="orange big grin">
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
60 Posts
Adopting domestic, in canada atleast, is FREE!! totally free. depending on your local Child Services office there may be a short wait or a long wait. But they are doing their best to find great parents and families for children who cannot go back to parents of origin.<br><br>
In canada we have to take PRIDE Training, it helps to develop understanding of what the children may have been exposed to and why they may act the way they might. The course does alot of worst case scenarios. Both foster and adoptive parents have to take the course. all the videos we watched came from the US so i imagine they would be same<br><br>
The best place to ask would be the local office they will give you all the details. of note, we used to live in Barrie ON and waited on a list for 4 years and got no where not even fill out the paperwork. We moved to Chatham kent last August, called CAS in October, have now filled out paperwork, completed training and should have home study in July.<br><br>
different regions have different ways... even if the law says they are all supposed to be the same.<br><br><img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/orngbiggrin.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="orange big grin">
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
749 Posts
You can adopt domestically without doing a foster-to-adopt. You would want to find an agency (my preference) or adoption attorney.<br><br>
There is still a chance that the parents could change their minds post placement, until they have signed away their parental rights and the legal time limit has passed - but like you said, things can fall through with International as well.<br><br>
The cost is higher, obviously, than foster-to-adopt, but can be quite a bit lower than International, depending on the area you live in.<br><br>
If you want more info on domestic adoption, rather than foster-adopt, just post again...I don't want to go into a long post if you really want to foster! We are parents to a daughter who we adopted as a newborn in a very open adoption and are starting the paperwork for our second.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
4,058 Posts
<div style="margin:20px;margin-top:5px;">
<div class="smallfont" style="margin-bottom:2px;">Quote:</div>
<table border="0" cellpadding="6" cellspacing="0" width="99%"><tr><td class="alt2" style="border:1px inset;">
<div>Originally Posted by <strong>Collinsky</strong> <a href="/community/forum/post/11548197"><img alt="View Post" class="inlineimg" src="/community/img/forum/go_quote.gif" style="border:0px solid;"></a></div>
<div style="font-style:italic;"><br>
So. Can someone please help me get up to speed on this, to figure out if it is right for us. I have some concerns - one is that if a child is placed with us prior to termination of parental rights, the goal is reunification. My concern is not reunification itself, obviously I believe that's wholly desirable. I just don't know if <i>I</i> could handle that, emotionally, at this point in my life. I am sure that this is a common concern?<br><br>
In going into this wanting to only have children who are *able to be adopted* placed with us, is that unrealistic? (I know there are no guarantees! Even international adoptions sometimes fall through.)<br></div>
</td>
</tr></table></div>
For most people who adopt through the state, fostering to adopt really means fostering a child that you HOPE may be free for adoption at some point. Some people do adopt children who are straight adoption, but those children tend to be older or who have bigger issues (mental health, illness, sibling groups, etc.) That's not always the case, but a good many children who get adopted by a non-family member are adopted by their foster parents.<br><br>
If you do decide to foster, you have to go into it understanding that the child may go home. It happens even in cases that you would think were a clear case for termination. You do it because you really believe in what you are doing and hope that one case will "stick."<br><br>
I've had a really great fostering journey. I've had three amazing children and I wouldn't change anything. One child was adopted by cousins who desperately wanted to add her to their family. I've adopted my second foster child (just last month.) My foster daughter has been with us since Thanksgiving and it looks like her case will head to adoption, as well. But there are no guarantees.<br><br>
If you haven't found it, <a href="http://www.fosterparents.com" target="_blank">www.fosterparents.com</a> is a great resource. The boards there are quite fast moving, and not so crunchy/AP. But you get to learn the good, bad, and the ugly of fostering and adopting through the state.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
860 Posts
I believe that if one goes the foster to adopt route, you have to have the same goal which, for fostering is reuniting the child with the bio fimily. in my eyes, this is a very honorable goal and i love that there are mamas and papas out there who put their heart out for chilren who temporarily meed a place to call home while the bio family (hopefully) gets it together. i also think that fostering in hopes that the bio family DOESNT get it together for a low cost adoption is a bit unethical. im a bio mom and that defianately has some weight im my view, of course. you are so right and so entitled to want a child that is actually available for adoption and where the ultimate goal of all parties is to make you a mama. fostering doesnt really seem to fit in with that. theres no sure but with any type of adoption but you have to find a route that is in line with your desires. good luck on your journey!
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
60 Posts
Either way you choose for adoption, when you have the home study they will help you determine which way is best for you.<br>
If you think you have the ability to Foster-Adopt then they normally place only children that the SW are pretty sure are not going back to parents of origin. Children that are in line to go back home to Foster only homes. And they also have Adoption only (crown wards) for children and sometimes infants that are crown wards already - no need to foster-adopt.<br><br>
I don;t believe that most children who are in foster care get adopted by their foster parents because then there would not at this time be any more room for foster children. So if you don't have the comfort level to play the gamble with Foster-adopt then you can tell child services you want adopt only.<br><br>
Again from an Ontario perspective, once my home study is done, i can send the completed home study to all the Children's aid societies in Ontario and attend the annual Resource meeting, so that we are an option on every ones mind when they are looking for parents for crown ward children who need permanent homes.<br><br>
I know many people assume that because we are adopting through the public domestic system we are fostering or foster-adopting<img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/irked.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="irked">:. And we are not. But i don't have the finances nor can i justify going into major debt just to bring a child home. It is why we have not pursued any fertility treatment.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
4,058 Posts
<div style="margin:20px;margin-top:5px;">
<div class="smallfont" style="margin-bottom:2px;">Quote:</div>
<table border="0" cellpadding="6" cellspacing="0" width="99%"><tr><td class="alt2" style="border:1px inset;">
<div>Originally Posted by <strong>CATPAT30</strong> <a href="/community/forum/post/11551408"><img alt="View Post" class="inlineimg" src="/community/img/forum/go_quote.gif" style="border:0px solid;"></a></div>
<div style="font-style:italic;">I don;t believe that most children who are in foster care get adopted by their foster parents because then there would not at this time be any more room for foster children. So if you don't have the comfort level to play the gamble with Foster-adopt then you can tell child services you want adopt only.<br></div>
</td>
</tr></table></div>
You may not believe it, but it's true, at least around here. The younger the child, or the longer the child has been in the home, the more likely it is to be the case. I didn't go into do fostering to adopt but I adopted my son and if P doesn't get reunified (which looks really unlikely,) I'll adopt her as well and close my home. Our social workers do a lot of foster parent recruiting because of this.<br><br><div style="margin:20px;margin-top:5px;">
<div class="smallfont" style="margin-bottom:2px;">Quote:</div>
<table border="0" cellpadding="6" cellspacing="0" width="99%"><tr><td class="alt2" style="border:1px inset;">
<div>Originally Posted by <strong>CATPAT30</strong> <a href="/community/forum/post/11551408"><img alt="View Post" class="inlineimg" src="/community/img/forum/go_quote.gif" style="border:0px solid;"></a></div>
<div style="font-style:italic;">I know many people assume that because we are adopting through the public domestic system we are fostering or foster-adopting. And we are not.</div>
</td>
</tr></table></div>
I personally don't know anyone who did straight adoption through the foster care system. I do know some people, online, who have done so. Again, so many kids (without the bigger issues and even with) get adopted by their foster families or friends of the foster family (who have a relationship with the child.)
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
2,673 Posts
Discussion Starter · #9 ·
Thank you to all who've replied!<br><br><div style="margin:20px;margin-top:5px;">
<div class="smallfont" style="margin-bottom:2px;">Quote:</div>
<table border="0" cellpadding="6" cellspacing="0" width="99%"><tr><td class="alt2" style="border:1px inset;">
<div>Originally Posted by <strong>pajamajes</strong> <a href="/community/forum/post/11548385"><img alt="View Post" class="inlineimg" src="/community/img/forum/go_quote.gif" style="border:0px solid;"></a></div>
<div style="font-style:italic;">But I think you can adopt domestically without doing foster to adopt. I got this idea from Adoptuskids.com.</div>
</td>
</tr></table></div>
Thanks for that link, Dh and I checked it out this morning. It looks very useful. <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/thumb.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="thumbs up"><br><br><div style="margin:20px;margin-top:5px;">
<div class="smallfont" style="margin-bottom:2px;">Quote:</div>
<table border="0" cellpadding="6" cellspacing="0" width="99%"><tr><td class="alt2" style="border:1px inset;">
<div>Originally Posted by <strong>Sarahbunny</strong> <a href="/community/forum/post/11548820"><img alt="View Post" class="inlineimg" src="/community/img/forum/go_quote.gif" style="border:0px solid;"></a></div>
<div style="font-style:italic;">If you want more info on domestic adoption, rather than foster-adopt, just post again...I don't want to go into a long post if you really want to foster! We are parents to a daughter who we adopted as a newborn in a very open adoption and are starting the paperwork for our second.</div>
</td>
</tr></table></div>
I do want more info <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/smile.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="smile">... I thought foster-adopt was the only way to adopt domestically without doing a private infant adoption (through an agency or otherwise, where a pregnant mother chooses to place her infant with a family. I do apologize if my terminology is off!)<br><br><div style="margin:20px;margin-top:5px;">
<div class="smallfont" style="margin-bottom:2px;">Quote:</div>
<table border="0" cellpadding="6" cellspacing="0" width="99%"><tr><td class="alt2" style="border:1px inset;">
<div>Originally Posted by <strong>BethNC</strong> <a href="/community/forum/post/11549218"><img alt="View Post" class="inlineimg" src="/community/img/forum/go_quote.gif" style="border:0px solid;"></a></div>
<div style="font-style:italic;">Some people do adopt children who are straight adoption, but those children tend to be older or who have bigger issues (mental health, illness, sibling groups, etc.)</div>
</td>
</tr></table></div>
Do very young sibling groups that are an infant and a 2yo, or a 1yo and a 3yo, tend to be in this group? Because that is something we are VERY interested in. Thanks for the Fosterparents site, I am looking at it now.<br><br><div style="margin:20px;margin-top:5px;">
<div class="smallfont" style="margin-bottom:2px;">Quote:</div>
<table border="0" cellpadding="6" cellspacing="0" width="99%"><tr><td class="alt2" style="border:1px inset;">
<div>Originally Posted by <strong>koalove</strong> <a href="/community/forum/post/11549768"><img alt="View Post" class="inlineimg" src="/community/img/forum/go_quote.gif" style="border:0px solid;"></a></div>
<div style="font-style:italic;">I believe that if one goes the foster to adopt route, you have to have the same goal which, for fostering is reuniting the child with the bio fimily.</div>
</td>
</tr></table></div>
I agree. It seems from what you are saying, that fostering to adopt is probably not for us at this time. I actually thought that there were only three ways to adopt in the US: kinship, private infant adoption, and foster-adopt. But is there another way to adopt through the state?<br><br>
Thanks again to everyone, all the insights are very helpful.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
60 Posts
YES sibling groups of any kind are considered hard to place because many want to build families gradually not all at once so when i asked if we could adopt sibling group they almost kissed us <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/smile.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="smile">
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
2,673 Posts
Discussion Starter · #11 ·
<div style="margin:20px;margin-top:5px;">
<div class="smallfont" style="margin-bottom:2px;">Quote:</div>
<table border="0" cellpadding="6" cellspacing="0" width="99%"><tr><td class="alt2" style="border:1px inset;">
<div>Originally Posted by <strong>CATPAT30</strong> <a href="/community/forum/post/11552527"><img alt="View Post" class="inlineimg" src="/community/img/forum/go_quote.gif" style="border:0px solid;"></a></div>
<div style="font-style:italic;">YES sibling groups of any kind are considered hard to place because many want to build families gradually not all at once so when i asked if we could adopt sibling group they almost kissed us <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/smile.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="smile"></div>
</td>
</tr></table></div>
That's so exciting to hear!
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
3,200 Posts
<div style="margin:20px;margin-top:5px;">
<div class="smallfont" style="margin-bottom:2px;">Quote:</div>
<table border="0" cellpadding="6" cellspacing="0" width="99%"><tr><td class="alt2" style="border:1px inset;">
<div>Originally Posted by <strong>CATPAT30</strong> <a href="/community/forum/post/11551408"><img alt="View Post" class="inlineimg" src="/community/img/forum/go_quote.gif" style="border:0px solid;"></a></div>
<div style="font-style:italic;"><br>
I don;t believe that most children who are in foster care get adopted by their foster parents because then there would not at this time be any more room for foster children.</div>
</td>
</tr></table></div>
I live in Michigan, and here over 90 percent of kids available for adoption are adopted by their fosters or relatives NOT "straight adopt" parents. The best way to ensure you get placed w/ a child here, esp a young and/or healthy child, is to foster first.<br><br>
I waited over a year to "straight adopt" a child under 10 with my first agency. I switched agencies, got a foster license, and was placed with a healthy three week old baby boy within a month. His mother's rights were terminated three months after that, and in August the judge will determine whether i get to adopt, or whether the interested relative will get him (he has not completed a homestudy yet, and makes only sporadic visits.) Compare that to the fact that i am still trying also to get a straight adoptive placement within my agency, my homestudy was finished in December, and i'm still waiting. Its possible that (if all goes well) i could *finalize* an adoption with this foster baby before ever even getting an adopt only placement.<br><br>
Just something to think about.<br><br><br>
Katherine
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
3,200 Posts
Alot of this really depends on what state/country/province you live in...here in MI, it is pretty difficult to adopt a young child, even (or maybe especially) a sib group of young kids, without fostering first. That being said, if you pick a good agency that has a history of placing young kids, you might get lucky. My current agency does place young kids w/o fostering, however it just depends on whether the foster parent chooses to adopt or not. Usually, the FP does adopt. I've been waiting since December to adopt a boy under say 10 or 11. Would consider sibs. Or a girl under three (bedroom issues)...i would also consider a wide range of issues and challenges. Yet still i wait.<br><br>
Our state photolisting rarely lists young sib groups, almost never has kids under around 4 (unless super severe issues, usually major med. stuff)...indeed, not too many kids under 10. Most kids listed are African American teen boys. Compare that to the Northwest Adoption Exchange, where most kids listed are Caucasian, and there are lots and LOTS of younger kids, even babies sometimes, lots of sib groups of two or three kids. Just a different demographic. And on the Texas photolisting, there are lots of med. fragile younger kids, large sib groups of three, four, five or more kids, and lots of the kids are Hispanic. I'm registered with Adopt America Network (which helps match kids and families) and get tons of emails with sib groups out of Texas. Often three or four kids under five years old.<br><br>
What i would say, is that it is the NORM to wait at least six months to a year, or longer, for a "straight adopt" match no matter where you live. You may wait longer if you want a child under five, or a girl. I am on lots of msg boards and lists, and people wait. And wait. And wait. I've been waiting since July 2006. And then of course, some people get homestudied and are placed with a baby or toddler within days or weeks. that happens too.<br><br><br>
Katherine
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
4,058 Posts
Katharine, that's been my experience as well. Except for the trying straight adoption part since I've never pursued that. I do, however, have friends who have been trying for straight adoption (of single children or sibling groups) who have been waiting much more than a year.<br><br>
I would also say that you should take what the agency says with a grain of salt (organic sea salt, of course.) They will say what they need to say to get you signed up. Even the best departments and social workers.<br><br>
I don't think that I learned anything useful at my MAPP classes (like PRIDE.) All 30 hours of it. A lot was probably because my background is in education (elementary and early childhood.) And I've taught parent education classes. But mostly because I never planned to parent older children and that's what the classes were geared to.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
2,673 Posts
Discussion Starter · #15 ·
<div style="margin:20px;margin-top:5px;">
<div class="smallfont" style="margin-bottom:2px;">Quote:</div>
<table border="0" cellpadding="6" cellspacing="0" width="99%"><tr><td class="alt2" style="border:1px inset;">
<div>Originally Posted by <strong>queenjane</strong> <a href="/community/forum/post/11553433"><img alt="View Post" class="inlineimg" src="/community/img/forum/go_quote.gif" style="border:0px solid;"></a></div>
<div style="font-style:italic;">Alot of this really depends on what state/country/province you live in...</div>
</td>
</tr></table></div>
This brings up another question - looking at the adoptuskids site, it seems ... and I could be totally mistaken... that it is possible to adopt a child from another area of the country? There was a photolisting of a young sib set that if we had a completed homestudy we'd be inquiring about already - they were in a different state entirely.<br><br>
So, is that a possibility? (The out of state adoption, not these particular little boys. I know that's not. <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/greensad.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="greensad">) Has anyone experienced that, or know anyone who has?
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
3,200 Posts
<div style="margin:20px;margin-top:5px;">
<div class="smallfont" style="margin-bottom:2px;">Quote:</div>
<table border="0" cellpadding="6" cellspacing="0" width="99%"><tr><td class="alt2" style="border:1px inset;">
<div>Originally Posted by <strong>Collinsky</strong> <a href="/community/forum/post/11553571"><img alt="View Post" class="inlineimg" src="/community/img/forum/go_quote.gif" style="border:0px solid;"></a></div>
<div style="font-style:italic;">This brings up another question - looking at the adoptuskids site, it seems ... and I could be totally mistaken... that it is possible to adopt a child from another area of the country? There was a photolisting of a young sib set that if we had a completed homestudy we'd be inquiring about already - they were in a different state entirely.<br><br>
So, is that a possibility? (The out of state adoption, not these particular little boys. I know that's not. <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/greensad.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="greensad">) Has anyone experienced that, or know anyone who has?</div>
</td>
</tr></table></div>
If you have an approved adoptive homestudy, you should be able to adopt a child from any state. The limits to that are that your agency must allow it (some state homestudies, for example, can only be used for those state kids because the state doesnt want to pay for you to adopt a kid from another state), and also, often they want to keep kids close to home for various reasons (contact with birthfamily, proximity to doctors familiar with that child, child's request, etc)....also, its simply much more work and more complicated to adopt from another state, as you need to go through ICPC, a process which can take months (this allows the transfer of a child from one state to another)....also, states have different requirements, for example, in some states you have to have a foster license to adopt, even if you arent fostering, because the child is technically a foster child until finalization (MI does not have this requirement), in some states you can have X amount of kids in the home, but another state might allow more. So that impacts whether you'd get chosen.<br><br>
Some states are better about choosing out of state families than others, i know that people adopt from OR and TX all the time from other states. I get the feeling MI isnt keen on sending kids out of state, but not certain.<br><br>
It certainly can't hurt to inquire on kids from any state that you feel you might want to adopt. Not to be too negative, but i've inquired on easily 200 kids on adoptuskids, and never got anywhere. Maybe with a small handful of kids (less than 10) did i even get to the point of talking to a worker, or being seriously considered at a match committee or whatever. If you are a more "typical" family (married, nice home, decent income) than i am (single, lower income, etc) then maybe you'll have better luck. I dunno.<br><br>
I would absolutely recommend registering with Adopt America Network, its free, and they will help you......they are sooo super nice. They have "access" to info about kids that arent listed on any photolistings, lots of the younger sib groups out of TX are listed with AAN even if they arent listed on the TX photolisting. Just print out the application from their (horribly outdated) website, send it in w/ a copy of your homestudy when you have one, and you're all set. They will assign you a volunteer whose sole goal is to match you up with a kid.<br><br>
One thing you might consider, if you will be allowed to send out your own homestudy, is to get a fax machine and fax it to the workers yourself, along with an intro letter about what your family can offer that particular child (maybe you have experience with their special needs,for example).<br><br><br>
Katherine
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
3,200 Posts
oh another thing i forgot to mention (i can go on and on about this subject, can ya tell?? <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/redface.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="Embarrassment"> )<br><br>
Please take the profiles you see on adoptuskids with a grain of salt. They will likely give you no indication of the severity of the child(ren)'s needs. I inquired on one boy that just gave a short blurb about his hobbies but it turns out that his true needs were pretty extreme (but ones i felt i could handle and i desperately wanted him...alas, was not chosen. Again.) Right now i'm trying to get more info via my worker about a teen boy in another state, his profile made him seem like the "perfect" match for our family, but the limited info i've been able to get from his recruiter (she couldnt tell me much til she sees my study) is a little different. I still want to find out more...but there are privacy issues which is why they dont usually lay it "all" out there on the internet. Esp if the child's state has taken the step to place a young sib group on a national photolisting like adoptuskids, it usually means that all their instate recruiting has not found a family. There usually is a "reason" for that. Now, i'm not saying that the children's issues arent ones that are totally fine and doable....just dont fall in love with a pic and then be crushed to find out the child is in no way a suitable match for your family.<br><br>
I think the profiles on NWAE (northwest adoption exchange, serving WA, OR, ID, and AK) are some of the most well written ones i've seen, giving you a good idea of the child's needs, without spelling it out too clearly as to violate privacy, and being upfront and honest about the type of family the child needs (whether two parent, single mom, no pets, no other kids, rural family, whatever.)<br><br><br>
Ok, off soapbox now! <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/redface.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="Embarrassment"><br><br><br>
Katherine
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
4,058 Posts
<div style="margin:20px;margin-top:5px;">
<div class="smallfont" style="margin-bottom:2px;">Quote:</div>
<table border="0" cellpadding="6" cellspacing="0" width="99%"><tr><td class="alt2" style="border:1px inset;">
<div>Originally Posted by <strong>queenjane</strong> <a href="/community/forum/post/11554391"><img alt="View Post" class="inlineimg" src="/community/img/forum/go_quote.gif" style="border:0px solid;"></a></div>
<div style="font-style:italic;">oh another thing i forgot to mention (i can go on and on about this subject, can ya tell?? <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/redface.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="Embarrassment"> )<br><br>
Please take the profiles you see on adoptuskids with a grain of salt. They will likely give you no indication of the severity of the child(ren)'s needs. I inquired on one boy that just gave a short blurb about his hobbies but it turns out that his true needs were pretty extreme (but ones i felt i could handle and i desperately wanted him...alas, was not chosen. Again.) Right now i'm trying to get more info via my worker about a teen boy in another state, his profile made him seem like the "perfect" match for our family, but the limited info i've been able to get from his recruiter (she couldnt tell me much til she sees my study) is a little different. I still want to find out more...but there are privacy issues which is why they dont usually lay it "all" out there on the internet. Esp if the child's state has taken the step to place a young sib group on a national photolisting like adoptuskids, it usually means that all their instate recruiting has not found a family. There usually is a "reason" for that. Now, i'm not saying that the children's issues arent ones that are totally fine and doable....just dont fall in love with a pic and then be crushed to find out the child is in no way a suitable match for your family.<br><br>
Katherine</div>
</td>
</tr></table></div>
Katherine, I'm glad that you posted that. You have to get really good at translating what they are saying into what they really mean.<br><br>
I'm hoping that RaleighMom will pop into this thread. She is doing an interstate adoption of a sibling group (I'm not sure who it's through, though.) She can give you a sense of her timetable (although they all vary so much.)<br><br>
The people I've met from adoptuskids have been great. They had a table at our state foster parents/adoptive parents conference and again at our Legislative Awareness rally.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
1,616 Posts
I've had a great experience with adoptuskids as well. We're still a little over a year away from being ready to start the process really but they've still been so helpful.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
2,673 Posts
Discussion Starter · #20 ·
Thanks!<br><br>
I was wondering 2 more things: should we contact an agency/DHS now - even though we can't possibly do a homestudy until this fall? (We hope to move to a larger place by October - our current place is only a 2 BR and we already have 4 children.)<br><br>
Also - is Section 8 a problem? We aren't currently getting subsidized housing, but we certainly qualify and are going to be turning in our application soon.<br><br>
I am thinking that I can't make any actual decisions about whether FTA is right for us until I talk to someone. I think we're leaning toward it. There's a lot I need to learn!
 
1 - 20 of 26 Posts
Top