Mothering Forum banner
1 - 7 of 7 Posts

· Banned
Joined
·
1,092 Posts
Discussion Starter · #1 ·
I'm trying to advice a pregnant friend so she might have a better chance at breastfeeding. So I summarized what I learnt about breastfeeding in the early weeks (especially after my experience with low milk-supply) and wrote it down for her. Anyway, when I gave it to her, and we talked about it, another friend was there, who has just had her third baby. Mum-of-3 then told Mum-to-be not to feed too often, and that newborns only need 10 min to empty the breast (which I know isn't necessarily true, as it often took 10 min before I had a let-down in the early days). Mum-of-3 (who is a great friend, and who breastfed her older children past one year) told us she wished she hadn't listened to the midwives/doctors/nurses who told her to feed on the demand, because her first daughter wanted to feed all the time, and she still has the scars on her nipples to show for it! I found it really difficult to respond to this, as I am very fond of Mum-of-3, and I just wanted to cry as I feel her response may cause troubles for Mum-to-be (I could see that she was horrified by the prospect of bleeding nipples ending up scarred - I didn't like the idea either!) I have felt really low because of this for the last few days. I really want to help Mum-to-be - if I could prevent my sad story happening to any of my friends, I certainly would do anything I can!

Now I'm just feeling so deflated. I've heard that low milk-supply is the main reason cited by mums in this country who wean prematurely - and I'm not surprised! At a new mums group I attended, only 3 out of 10 mums still breastfed at 2 months pp - and we're in an "affluent" part of town - the other seven all seemed to site low milk supply as their reason to formula feed (or, occasionally, "he's just so hungry all the time, I couldn't keep up"). Breastfeeding is very well supported in this country, by the way (as long as babe is gaining well), but "supplementing" is extremely common.

I'm not sure what to do now. I just feel so sad.
 

· Registered
Joined
·
3,568 Posts
A lot of new mothers dont realize they may have to feed their newborn every 2 hours or even more often. As a result they think they have low supply and stop breastfeeding when the supply was adequete. It sounds like that womens scars come from latch issues and not from feeding to often. My dd ate every hour sometimes and i dont have scars.

Explain these 2 points to the mom to be and maybe go to a LLL meeting with her.
 

· Registered
Joined
·
504 Posts
In the hospital DD latched really wrong once and that nipple has never been the same looking even after it healed. Honestly, it's not that big of a deal though. It wasn't from feeding too much though...it was from the bad latch.

I'd try to bring it up next time you see mom-to-be when mom-of-3 isn't around. Just tell her that "I know mom-of-3 means well....but you should know that every woman is different and I don't want that not-entirely accurate advice to interfere with your future nursing experience. Some need to nurse longer than 10 minutes and some babies do need to eat more often than others." Also warn her that just because her DC may be eating CONSTANTLY...that it might just be a growth spurt and won't last long. DD had a growth spurt at 10 days and she was attached to me for 3 days straight! I wanted to shoot myself!...but it only lasted 3 days.
 

· Registered
Joined
·
204 Posts
wow. hugs to you for wanting your friend to get helpful and accurate advice.

i know for me and my babe we spent almost every waking moment nursing. he would often nurse for an hour and a half in the first days! for two weeks i had help and it didn't feel like a chore at all-- it felt completely right and was what ds and i needed. now i have never had cracked or bleeding nipples. Never. Now we had a really optimal experience I think bc we had a great birth and allowed our baby to self-attach right after birth (ds crawled to the breast by smell and self-attached and his latch was PERFECt!); AND we had help for the first two weeks and then had people coming over to help out every so often after two weeks. My only job was to take care of him and rest and be taken care of. That helped establish supply and gave us the time we needed to focus on developing our breastfeeding relationship.
 

· Registered
Joined
·
1,076 Posts
Quote:

Originally Posted by SpiderMum View Post
Also warn her that just because her DC may be eating CONSTANTLY...that it might just be a growth spurt and won't last long. DD had a growth spurt at 10 days and she was attached to me for 3 days straight! I wanted to shoot myself!...but it only lasted 3 days.
exactly! this seems to happen a lot and a new mom would most definitely freak out and think they weren't making enough milk. I tell new moms the 3 & 6 rule thing. It worked with my kids anyway. My kids hit a growth spurt at 3 weeks, 6 weeks, 3 months, and 6 months. It varys from kid to kid, i'm sure, but that's how it works out in our little household.
 

· Registered
Joined
·
103 Posts
People just don't understand breastfeeding!! Yeah, low milk supply is the reason they wean becuase they didn't NURSE ON DEMAND!!!!!!!!

I have a friend saying she is going to start supplementing because her son is so hungry he wants to nurse every 2 hours! as if she can't believe it. - Uh,,, yeah, Welcome to breastfeeding sweetheart!
 

· Registered
Joined
·
22 Posts
Kudos to your friend for wanting to get some information on BFing. All advice comes from different points of view simply because we are all different, even in the same situations, we will all come out with different opinions on how it was, what we liked, what we hated, ect. Remind your PG friend that not everyone has a bad experience,but don't candy coat it either. If there is anything worse than sharing "scary" stories, its sugar coating realities of what "could" happen. Just tell her to educate herself as much as possible,never be afraid to ask for help, and to take it one day at a time.
 
1 - 7 of 7 Posts
This is an older thread, you may not receive a response, and could be reviving an old thread. Please consider creating a new thread.
Top