[mamabohl]

DS#1 has started purposefully hurting his brother. He will do something to him (for instance, today he threw dh's work boot - size 13 huge steel-toe workboot - at DS#2), then run away with his hands over his ears (cuz he knows the baby will start crying) and a mischevous smile on his face. I just don't know what to do. It makes me so mad. It's very rare that the baby will play happily by himself, and when he does DS#1 ruins it by hurting him.

: I try explaining that it hurts DS#2 and makes him sad, but DS#1 just doesn't get it. How should I go about handling this?

 

[~member~]

What works for my family is telling them gently that hands are for holding, not hitting. And we have a "hugs and kisses only" rule, when they are starting to get frustrated with each other.
We do more group playtimes, also.

 

[HappyHSer]

Quote:

What works for my family is telling them gently that hands are for holding, not hitting. And we have a "hugs and kisses only" rule, when they are starting to get frustrated with each other. We do more group playtimes, also.

This would not be a match for my approach. Hands are for lots of things. They *are* for holding. And eating. And picking noses. And a pat on the back. And a punch of a pillow........

Hugs and kisses only seems inappropriate when what the child *feels* is anger, frustration, resentment or the need for physical expression.

For the OP, there are lots of ideas for aggressive kids going around the forum.