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Don't know where to post this-doctor related

386 Views 10 Replies 8 Participants Last post by  ConfusedPrincess, 
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I wasn't sure where to post this so i decided to post it in here since everyone is really kind around here.
Ok so since I've been to MDC(wish I could've found it before my first ob visit) I have seen several topics on refusing certain "routine" treatments i.e. early u/s , pap smears, etc. I really had no clue of the precautions of such things-not to meantion I'm one of those who gets all sweaty and anxious in a medical building and I tend to sort of drift off to my happy place..

I think I found the worst ob/gyn group in the area when I look back on their behavior and the way they treated me. It actually makes me sick to think that so many women are going to them and not being educated enough on their pregnancy(unless they do their own research).
So this Wed. I have an appt. with a new practice. When I made the appt. the lady said the doctor would need to do some sort of exam before I could have my u/s. I'm curious what this entails. If he is going to check the babys heartbeat..push on my stomache to feel the baby, take urine sample-that's all fine with me. However if they even mention I need to get undressed for an examination I will freak out-mainly b/c he is a male doctor. But I'm curious to know is there any other reason why they don't need to "go inside" to check on the baby? Also I havn't seen my prev. doctor since week 14 so I don't want to be turned away for not 'going along' w/ the doctor...any advice?
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M
There's not much they can learn from "going inside" when you're not in labor, and even then I'd refuse. It's just another thing they use for you to be submisive to them. I'm refusing any & all internal checks. It's so humiliating! I'm the same way; I get all nervous too.

JUST SAY NO. It's your right to refuse anything they offer. And bullying you into it is just plain wrong too, so don't let him or anyone else say you NEED it to get your U/S done. I'd just up & leave right then & find someone new. It's awful the way women are treated in pregnancy & birth. We're not "broken", nor do we need their help at all. Just because they went to medical school doesn't mean they know what's best for YOU. It's usually about THEM, and what's convienent for them.

Sorry if I sound bitter. I'm reading some very interesting books and am totally changing my views on OB's & their humiliating way they treat women.
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B
Call ahead and ask what an exam entails...then educate yourself on the needs for this exam, if it is a vaginal exam are there less intrusive ways to get the same information, is the information neccessary, etc. This way you can go in stating what you want and asking the dr. if they are comfortable with your wishes..if not unfortunately you may need to be looking again.
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Naughty Dingo
And it is Ok to say you are uncomfortable with something. You don't need to give excuses or justify yourself. A good physician will talk with you about your concerns and give you a good explanation of the benefits of whatever exam or treatment he or she would like to do. If you are still wondering "Why are they wanting to do this?" then they haven't done their job.

Is there anyway you could bring your partner or a friend/relative along? If you are nervous in the situation, they can help make you feel supported, and can help facilitate the discussion of what will and won't happen.

Good luck. Communication is key to a good relationship, unfortunately, as in life, some physicians are bad communicators.

ND
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K
If they aren't willing to keep you as a patient nor seem willing to go along with this, an exam... then I'd find a new care provider, because how willing will they be later when you want different things, that are even more important to you later?
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Quote:

Originally Posted by mommyofmany

We're not "broken", nor do we need their help at all. Just because they went to medical school doesn't mean they know what's best for YOU. It's usually about THEM, and what's convienent for them.

Oh I totally agree with that. It's funny b/c I always used to get in arguments with doctors who act like they know my body 100% b/c they went to med school-helloo I know my body better than anyone so listen to ME and what I want. Call me a hypocrite(sp?) b/c I'm pre-med
But I will totally *listen* to how each person feels/wants and use my knowledge of options and educate them on making the best decision for *them*.
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M
http://www.library.dal.ca/kellogg/Bi...des/rights.htm

Here's a copy of the Patient's Bill of Rights

It's good to know, and OWN these rights so that you can stand up to get the care AND CONSIDERATION you deserve.
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Quote:

Originally Posted by midwifetx
http://www.library.dal.ca/kellogg/Bi...des/rights.htm

Here's a copy of the Patient's Bill of Rights

It's good to know, and OWN these rights so that you can stand up to get the care AND CONSIDERATION you deserve.
Thank you thank you. I will be making a copy of that.


While I'm on the subject of patients rights, I have another question: The doctor- at my 'meet and greet' appt. gave me a form I have to have signed AND notarized asap. It pertains to malpractice and basically says that I will not sure for more than $250,000 total and if i sue them and the judge sides with them-I have to pay all of their lawyer fees and expenses, etc.
:

Both my mom and my cousin have used this group for their pregnancies b/c they do homebirths, sell natural medicines, etc.(They delivered me too). Even so I must admit I'm a little apprehensive to sign it-I mean would they be so worried about being sued for malpractice if they were delivering a bunch of healthy babies?
Yea I know so many people are sue crazy these days but still I've never been asked to sign a paper like that. And the fact that it has to be notarized?
Would you be worried?
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Fuamami
From what I've heard, it probably wouldn't really hold up that well in court, and if they really screwed up, you'd still have a lot of leverage. There was a measure here a few years back to redo malpractice insurance and put caps on, and I read a forum where docs and lawyers discussed contracts like this. I'm sure you'll be learning all this soon, if you plan on going to med school!

Also, I didn't have one vag exam w/my last pg until I already had the urge to push. That was it. I think they're unnecessary and possibly dangerous, ESPECIALLY in labor, ESPECIALLY if your water has broke when multiple vag exams introduce bacteria. That's the reason for the rule that most docs have about c-section 24 hours after water breaking. Because all the exams probably will cause infection. Your body doesn't stop producing amniotic fluid, and it would naturally continue to flush itself until the baby was born.

Sorry for the tangent!
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R
Ditto what pps have said. If the new OB makes you feel like a bad patient for not consenting to a vaginal exam, he is not likely to be very supportive during the rest of your pregnancy and birth. I would find someone new if that's the case, even though I know it would stink to search for yet another doctor.

I'm planning a homebirth and let my mw do a vag exam at our first real visit. It was to let her feel the size of my uterus. You can't just feel it from the outside in the first trimester. You are far enough along now that a doc could palpate your uterus without "going inside."

I've been to my back up docs twice and they never even asked to do a vag exam. I am, however, very lucky to have found a final back up doc who respects my wishes and supports me having a homebirth.

Oh, and I would go ahead and sign the malpractice form if you really like these docs and have to sign it to use them.
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Quote:

Originally Posted by riversong
Oh, and I would go ahead and sign the malpractice form if you really like these docs and have to sign it to use them.
Yea I suppose....This is my theory:me and "my love" aren't married yet so *technically* they can't make him sign. I mean all I have to say is "oh he left the country" or something like that
I know it would look bad-but I live in AZ, not Chicago, and I will be going back there . There's only a 10% I'll be delivering here so i doubt he'll find out. But this way incase something did happen I'd feel safer knowing at least he could go after them...IDK I just don't trust signing legal documents..I got screwed over before.
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