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So I am starting to read Excuse Me, Your Life is Waiting, and I am a little confused by the Wants/Don't Wants, etc.<br><br>
She says "I don't want to be fat." is a Don't Want (duh!) but then says "I want to be thin." Is also a Don't Want (hiding as a WAnt)<br><br>
I am obviously not far into this book, but that kind of confused me. So what is a Want if not a statement like "I want to be thin." ?<br><br>
I figured this may be a good springboard for discussion for the newbies here on this stuff <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/smile.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="smile">
 

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Yes, you've got it.<br><br>
When you look at the phrase....<br><br>
"I don't want to be fat" - what is the word you see? The word <b>fat</b> so your mind focuses more on it.<br><br>
When you look at the phrase....<br><br>
"I want to be thin" - what is the word you see? The word <b>thin</b> so your mind focuses more on it.<br><br>
Kids are really great with this. If your child is going near the t.v. and you say, '"don't touch the t.v" what happens. The child immediately turns their attention to the t.v. because that's the word they've heard. If you say, "Walk to Mom", they hear Mom and turn their attention towards you.
 

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Basically, you are saying, "I want to be thin instead of fat."<br><br>
What you want to look at is, WHY do you want to be thin? Because you want compliments? Because you want to feel good about your appearance?<br><br>
Ask for THAT, not specifically to be thin.<br><br>
Being thin is just the MEANS, not the END.<br><br>
To someone overweight, they may think that the MEANS to them gaining friendships, romance, compliments, etc. would be to be thin... or at least, not fat.<br><br>
So rather than asking for what they really want, which is to feel included, feel desirable, etc., they focus on, "what is the opposite of what I am right now?"<br><br>
However, there is then the argument that you can't use "I feel loved and wanted" because if you do, then you are admitting that maybe it is possible NOT to feel that way.<br><br>
Personally, I think that takes it too far. That pretty much gets rid of everything you can say, which I think is not very helpful, and I think is overthinking things.<br><br>
I believe that by overthinking it, you create the very issue you are thinking. If you BELIEVE that saying, "I am so happy and grateful that I am slender and beautiful" means you are focusing on fatness... then that is how you will perceive it, and it will sabotage you.<br><br>
But if you can focus honestly on "I am so happy and grateful that I am slender and beautiful" without it bringing up all kinds of negative junk... then do so.<br><br>
I mean... at the end of the day, there is an opposite to EVERYTHING. So if I'm going to sit around trying to figure out a way to say something that doesn't contain any of the energy of having an opposite... I'll sit there for eternity.<br><br>
The Universal laws state that everything contains the energy of its opposite. However, humans can only focus on one at a time. So if you look at your weight and you see it as being too much or too little... you cannot at the same time see it as being perfectly balanced. But if you look at your weight and see it as perfectly balanced, you cannot perceive it at the same time as being too much or too little.
 
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