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<p>I am a certified birth doula through DONA. I am a newer doula, and have attended 17 births. I am friends with the charge L&D Nurse at a local hospital and I've told her that she can call me whenever she has a patient who is laboring alone or who doesn't have an adequate support team/ she isn't feeling supported. She's called me twice now and each time I've doulaed for these clients, it's been quite a challenge.</p>
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<p>Both labors were rapid, the first going from 4-10 centimeters in an hour and the other 5-10 centimeters in an hour.</p>
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<p>One of them was an addict and illicit drugs caused her labor. She started having really strong withdrawls during pushing.</p>
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<p> The other was a Spanish speaking woman (I know very little spanish, but the nursing staff didn't know any, so I had to translate as best I could).</p>
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<p>Both chose to have fentenol before I arrived at their labors, and it was wearing off both times I arrived to the hospital. These women were completely out of control in both situations. They had no center, no method of getting through contractions and were hyperventalating, overwelmed and didn't have any way of handling their pain.</p>
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<p>I've had a hard time in getting them back into the 3 R's. With the first patient who was a drug addict, I don't think I would've been able to ever get her there. There was way more going on with her (she was thrashing around on the bed, screaming at the top of her lungs that she wanted drugs, and she wasn't talking about an epidural :( )</p>
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<p>But with the Spanish speaking woman, I felt like I could've helped bring her into a state where she felt in control, just didn't know how. I tried everything I could think of. Take charge routine, loud slower paced breathing she could follow with me, I encouraged her, I tried to see if bending her arm back and forth during a contraction would give her a ritual, I got her to the point where for half the contraction she'd be fine, the other half she'd be hyperventalating. I was only there an hour before she delivered, and I want to know what I can do to put the ball back in her court and give her a way she can handle it, or women like her.</p>
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<p>Have you ever come in to births where women are already in transition and are showing signs of being totally overwelmed and not in control? How do you give the control back to them?</p>
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<p>Thanks!</p>
 

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<p>All I can give hugs!!!  I am a new doula too, but I think what you are doing is wonderful.  Hard, but wonderful!  I'm sure we know that nowadays, most women don't prepare for birth anymore, b/c they don't have to. They expect someone else to take control, like the doc or nurse.  And that's why I feel so sad for these women; they were totally and completely unprepared :(  But YOU were there to take them in when it got rough.  And I bet even the woman who was on drugs will remember you one day too, positively. </p>
 

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<p>Hey there!</p>
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<p>I went to many births just as you describe above during the year and a half I worked in an in-hospital doula program. I encountered many women who were completely out of control and having a hard time handling the intensity of their labors. I think you did a fine job, and really, all that you could have done. I feel that I learned a lot during my time doing "triage doulaing".</p>
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<p>Being present for her, holding that space for * just her* was an incredible gift. That doesn't mean it isn't super hard to work at these births as a doula. I would come home after many shifts, crying that I was unable to do what *I wanted to do* for her. But really, it is her birth experience and perhaps you planted some seeds for a way of viewing her life and her child's life that she will carry with her.</p>
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<p>I found that going to visit the moms and babies 24 hours after their birth was a nice way to check in with them and get their feedback. You may be surprised by the praise and love you receive, even when you feel like you didn't "do anything to help".</p>
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<p>Take Care!</p>
 

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<br><br><div class="quote-container"><span>Quote:</span>
<div class="quote-block">Originally Posted by <strong>mamasensedoula</strong> <a href="/community/forum/thread/1287994/doula-advice#post_16148622"><img alt="View Post" class="inlineimg" src="/community/img/forum/go_quote.gif" style="border:0px solid;"></a><br><br><p>I found that going to visit the moms and babies 24 hours after their birth was a nice way to check in with them and get their feedback. You may be surprised by the praise and love you receive, even when you feel like you didn't "do anything to help".</p>
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<p>Take Care!</p>
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<br><br><p>I completely agree.  I work for a hospital program, but have seen everything from beautiful births to out of control mamas and in all cases the families have all be glad that I was there and some I felt like I was completely useless.  I always feel funny when I feel like it was a horrible birth, and that I was completely useless and then they thank me so much for being there with them at the postpartum visit.  I have learned over the years to never try and figure out how it went or what the mom thought :)</p>
 
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