ANyone plan on using one this time? Used one in the past? Approximate cost? Anyone know a good one in north texas?<br><br>
I really would like one there mainly to make sure my birth plan gets followed and my babe isnt vaxed or given vit k!
One of my lifetime friends - literally lifetime, our fathers went to school together - is going to act as my doula. She's fully trained, though Illinois doesn't license doulas. We're the home of the AMA, so midwives are <span style="text-decoration:underline;">illegal</span> here. Way to elminate the competition, guys. Anyway, she's a massage therapist and a social worker and she'll be helping me out. I'll pay her...probably a few hundred dollars.<br>
Largely, the reason I'll have a doula is because blood, pain, and anything even vaguly biological make my husband queasy. To be honest, I'm not even sure I want him there for the birth. He'll just turn green and pass out.
I have a doula-<br>
I really don't know much about it, as we haven't talked seriously about it yet (my fault) and I've never had a baby before. I'm excited to have an advocate, however. However cool this hospital-based birth center is, it is in a hospital, where they regularly use drugs and surgerys... Someone to advocate for my birth as natural and normal, and to make sure I get what I need in order to fulfill that... That's one thing I expect out of her...
I'll be using a doula as well. I'm planning to birth in a freestanding birth center, but I really want to have an advocate keeping me focused and intervention free. Plus as Bkwyrm said, my dh is squeamish and I don't suppose he'll be much help in labor. We live about 2000 miles from where I'm going to be birthing, so he may not even get there in time, and I want labor support whether he is there or not.
i'm thinking about it. i didn't have one last time, and wish i had. this time i'm giving birth in a freestanding birth center, and i know what i want *before* the event, so i can talk it through with the midwives.<br><br>
last time i had no idea what to expect or what to ask for, and it wasn't *my* midwife, but the one at the hospital at the time. i got to the hospital in transition so there wasn't a lot of time to discuss what we never planned in advance.<br><br>
i had told my husband what to say but he didn't know *when* to say it and he felt to much pressure being my advocate. this time he says he wants to just take it easy and be there for me and the baby and not have to be watching out for the staff.<br><br>
i'm thinking i might not need one this time since the center is so great and i like the midwife. i can't imagine that she'll go against my wishes, and frankly, i already had one lousy birth, and i know now, from experience, that it's not about the birth experience but the baby. it'll be fine regardless of what happens, IMO.
We're hiring one for sure and we've settled on someone this week. It's expensive....$750 and most with significant experience (200-500 births) in our area are $700-$1,000. But, in many areas you can find a doula who is still trying to get more experience who is free or if you are low income there are often doulas who work specifically with low income moms for less. $$ shouldn't be a barrier to having what you want for anyone.
I want one. We didn't have one with dd/hospital birth. Now that we've experienced a birth together, dh & I agree that, for us, it's a "woman thing." I don't really want him there as labor support and he doesn't really want to BE labor support, so it all works out. <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/lol.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="lol"><br><br>
I have an acquaintence who's a doula that I'm planning to talk to about working with us. She's the wife of one of my co-workers and is a huge hb supporter (they've had 3 hbs!). I've only met her a couple of times, but we've e-mailed back and forth and I really like her. My only issue: I'm kind of afraid to talk to her about the fact that we're heathen. <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/redface.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="Embarrassment">
I'm having one- sort of. I am a Doula and my best friend is planning to be here- I've Doula'd for her births, so she'll be helpful. I'm sure my husband will be great- since I discuss births w/ him all the time, but having someone else there to remind him of things to do for me will be helpful for him- this is his first. I am having a home birth.<br>
Having a Doula for me is more just for the support my dh needs. Guys don't really understand labor and tend to think more along the lines of "I did that w/ the last contraction- it should be fixed now." So having Suzanne there will just help him continue being supportive and encouraging to me.<br><br>
I just have to say to some of you gals, most Doulas (the good ones, IMO) will not <span style="text-decoration:underline;">be</span> your advocate, but <span style="text-decoration:underline;">will help you be your own advocate.</span><br><br>
Oh- and I typically charge $300<br>
You can look on DONA.org and find one in your area- they should have names of other Doulas so you can interview a couple of them.
WE had a doula last time. Well, she wasn't an official doula- there aren't any in my area, however she has lots of experience with natural birth and is a LLL- which I wanted to make sure I had there as I did not trust our hospital's ability to help me bf. She was absolutely instrumental in making things going smoothly. She worked on a volunteer basis, dh paid her $200 (which was a whole lot in are area) as she was so helpful.
I am also a doula, and my birth situation is a bit different. I am an apprentice midwife, and the midwife I work with also does monitrice work (she goes to the laboring mother's house and can do clinical care as a midwife, goes with the family to the hospital and is a doula there, then follows up at home when the family is discharged again as a midwife), so if I should happen to need to go to the hospital, she will be with us.<br><br>
I agree with Rachel, a doula will help you be your own advocate. I was at a birth recently, and one interchange went like this:<br>
Nursery nurse walks in while mom is laboring/resting and tells dad what she will do after the baby is born.<br>
"Your baby will come to the warmer right away, I will give her a quick bath, then give her Vitamin K and Eye Ointment, put a diaper on and wrap her up, then give her to mom. It will take about 15 minutes" I already knew the family did not want Vit K or Eye Ointment, so I said to dad:<br>
"R, did you and L talk about the newborn procedures you did and did not want? Right after the birth is when they will do Vit K and Eye Ointment. Did you have thoughts on that?"<br>
He was so tired (we all were), and he sort of woke up a little and said:<br>
"Oh, yeah, we don't want either of those. Do you have a waiver or something we need to sign?"<br><br>
I did not interfere with the nurse, nor did I tell the nurse what the parents wishes were. Dad still stated their wishes, and was the one to make the decision. But I was there to help make sure he heard the nurse, and gave a response, he advocated for himself, his wife and their baby. It would not have been appropriate for me to say to the nurse, "No, they do not want those procedures done." It has to come from the parent.<br><br>
A doula can remind a mother to ask questions when they are told a procedure is going to be done or is suggested.<br>
Doctor or nurse<br>
"We are going to break your water now."<br>
Doula to mom<br>
"L, do you understand what the doctor said? Did you have any questions about that?"<br>
Mom may ask her question then, or dad can. But they are reminded that they can ask whatever question they want. Sometimes families will feel as though they can not question those in certain positions.<br><br>
Ideally, the parents and doula will discuss their desires during pregnancy and can role play some situations to illustrate how the doula will remind them and help them during labor.
I will have a doula this time. One of my good friends is a doula so it made sense for me to pick her. I think she usually charges $300, but is happy to work out a trade or change the cost depending on the person's circumstances. My dh was great last time, but I think it will be nice ot have one more person on my side this time, especially since I am attempting a VBAC.
I just hired my doula on tuesday!! Her fee is $500. It includes 2 prenatals, the labor and delivery aspect, a couple hours postpartum and a postpartum visit.<br>
She also is available for support 24 hours a day and has a lending library.<br>
I am very excited. This is my 5ht baby and my first doula.
We hired a doula. $300 for two prenatal home visits/eduation sessions on topics of our mutual choosing, attendance during early labor through to a hour or two after delivery, and one postnatal home visit.<br><br>
Check dona.org or cappa.net for "doula finders".<br>
Also, see if you can buy or check out from the library a book called "The Doula Advantage". Lots of great info.