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Discussion Starter · #1 ·
We decided sometime in the 2nd trimester to hire a doula, and I spent some time contacting various local doulas, and got to the interview stage with two of them. The one that we eventually picked seemed really great, very professional, and we hit it off on a personal level as well. She's very in tune with my philosophy of birth, and I was very happy with my choice.<br><br>
Okay, so, we set up two prenatal appointments for her to come over and talk to us about developing a birth plan, etc. She's also familiar with the hospital I'm going to be delivering in, so I was looking forward to talking to her about that as well. The night of our first appointment, she called us five minutes before she was supposed to be here and said that she was actually up the street from us, but had had a reoccurrence of a stomach virus she'd been dealing with, and was in no condition to come to our house. I said I totally, totally understood and told her to take care of herself and that we'd reschedule. She got my cell number and said she'd call me back the next morning to reschedule our appointment. (The appointment was Thursday night, she was supposed to call me back Friday morning.)<br><br>
The next day came and went with no contact, as did the entire weekend. Sunday night I finally sent her an email asking if everything was okay since I hadn't heard from her. She wrote back saying that she was very apologetic for not having contacted me, but she'd been very sick all weekend and had wound up in urgent care with low blood pressure and was getting blood work done later that day to see what was up. I again told her I totally understood, that these things happen, etc. (All true -- I know people get sick and it can't be controlled.) She reassured me that we will definitely get our prenatal visits in. I said, take care of yourself and just keep me updated with what's going on.<br><br>
Okay, that communication was Monday. It is now Saturday and I haven't heard from her. I am 36 weeks pregnant and starting to get concerned that maybe I should find a backup doula. I mean, I really like this doula, but it's starting to freak me out that so much time is passing and I haven't heard from her. For all I know it's because she's deathly ill and in the hospital, but if that is the case, I need to find a backup anyway. I just kind of wish she would fill me in with what's going on.<br><br>
I just thought I'd ask here and see what everyone else's take is on this. Not a big deal, just wait for her to get back to me, or start looking for backup? Just to reiterate, I LIKE this person and want her to be my doula, I'm just getting a little nervous/concerned.
 

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I would send her an email, briefly saying what you've said above. Tell her that you really felt like you two hit it off well, and are concerned for her health. Tell her that you would still like to talk to her, but also tell her that you are going to look for names of backups, so that you feel adequately prepared for what you need.<br><br>
Sorry about all of this- I hope she's okay; I can't think of why I would ever just not contact a client unless I was very ill.<br><br>
Clara
 

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Discussion Starter · #4 ·
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<div>Originally Posted by <strong>DoulaClara</strong> <a href="/community/forum/post/7978264"><img alt="View Post" class="inlineimg" src="/community/img/forum/go_quote.gif" style="border:0px solid;"></a></div>
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Sorry about all of this- I hope she's okay; I can't think of why I would ever just not contact a client unless I was very ill.</div>
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Yeah, that is my concern as well. She seemed so professional and on top of things in all of our previous contacts that I'm worried she may actually be hospitalized or something.<br><br>
My OB/GYN has a recommended doula, so maybe I'll get her information from him at my appointment on Tuesday.
 

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I would maybe email/call her and ask if SHE has a backup that she works with. I always have a backup, even if illness is the only reason I wouldn't be able to attend a birth...and I always make it an option for my clients to meet my backup if they wish. That might be simpler financially than you hiring two separate doulas. And I would *hope* that if she *is* really ill, she would be thinking about backup for your birth already.<br><br>
Goodluck!<br>
-Andrea
 

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<div style="margin:20px;margin-top:5px;">
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<div>Originally Posted by <strong>DoulaLMT</strong> <a href="/community/forum/post/7978598"><img alt="View Post" class="inlineimg" src="/community/img/forum/go_quote.gif" style="border:0px solid;"></a></div>
<div style="font-style:italic;">I would maybe email/call her and ask if SHE has a backup that she works with. I always have a backup, even if illness is the only reason I wouldn't be able to attend a birth...and I always make it an option for my clients to meet my backup if they wish. That might be simpler financially than you hiring two separate doulas. And I would *hope* that if she *is* really ill, she would be thinking about backup for your birth already.<br><br>
Goodluck!<br>
-Andrea</div>
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<br><img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="/img/vbsmilies/smilies/yeahthat.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="yeah that">:
 

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I would look for a backup immediatly. At this late stage of the game, you might not be able to find anyone available. It is difficult when someone contacts me so late in their pregnancy because then we have to hussle our schedules to meet and get our prenatals in. This other doula should have already recommended you find someone else. If she is that sick she needs to take care of herself. Doulas are famous for putting other's needs before their own. Good luck and I hope you and doula are both well.
 

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Discussion Starter · #8 ·
Well, she got back to me this morning, was VERY apologetic, and set up an appointment to get together and discuss birth plans this evening. She actually just left, after being here for 3.5 hours. Apparently she got hit with some kind of Martian Death Virus and wound up in the hospital twice last week. She was very apologetic about the whole thing and said she hoped she hadn't caused too much worry. (I said, "Well, I did start to get concerned towards the end of the week....")<br><br>
However, I think I still feel good about using her for my doula. I'm glad she got back to me today, though, because I was about to call a replacement doula tomorrow morning.
 

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i'm glad she's feeling better & you were finally able to meet with her. but....i would still confirm with her if she has a backup just in case something like this happens when your birth rolls around.
 

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I am glad she got it all worked out, but I would still find out if she works with a back up doula because that can be very important. Life happens and you never know, so if she has someone that could be there in her absence that might put your mind at ease.
 
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