[pinkmommy]

DD is 2.8 yrs old. I am about 34/35 weeks pregnant. Made it this far whilst nursing!

Around 4 or 5 months, my milk supply dropped, as I knew it might. Actually it was already pretty low. To make matters worse, DD only nurses on one side -- it's been that way since DD was 10 months old. I've tried to get her to nurse on the other side in recent months but it is too painful to bear.

Things have been tough, but we have been coping. We co-sleep with both DD and DS (4 yrs old). DS starts out the night in another bed but is usually in our bed by 1 AM. Crowded. DH is very supportive of the family bed and helps with night parenting, but he is also under some stress at work, sleep deprived and just seems so prone to get easily frustrated -- so I hesitate to ask DH for help because it stresses me out when he has moments of what I call "losing it" (i.e. I will hear him hit his head out of frustration or mutter a curse). When DD sleeps next to me, she knows the milk source is right THERE so she nurses more frequently. Maybe about twice a week, DH will keep DD next to him and she doesn't nurse nearly so frequently, but there are times when she fully wakes in a tantrum because she doesn't have access to nursing.

Two weeks ago, I spent the night in the ER at the hospital, so DD was away from me for an entire night. It was hard for her. I apparently have gallstones and the recovery from my big attack a few weeks ago was slow, painful. I didn't eat for three days, missed a ful night's sleep and my stomach muscles were sore from violently vomiting during the attack. I was very run down after this whole incident and nursing was so hard. Since that time, DD seems to want to nurse more at night and is more clingy to me in general. It was obviously difficult for her to be away from me even that one night and I think she is trying to make sure I am there for her.

To make matters more challenging, I do sometimes get some strongish "surges" (what others call contractions) when I am nursing DD. These marathon nurse fests are just too much to take. I know I need to set limits, but I don't know how -- how to deal with DD's tantrums and tears. When I am absolutely exhausted, have nursed DD for a long time and need some sleep, I just don't know what to do. If I stop the nursing, she starts screaming...then I'm not getting any sleep. USUALLY DH will get up with her and do his best to handle it...and it isn't all that often that he "loses it," but I feel upset that he has to do this and feel worried for him.

I am nervous about tandem nursing too. Trying to keep an open mind.

I wonder if I should night wean DD, but when I read posts about night weaning, it seems so hard on the baby/toddler. Also, I know it is a lot of work and I am so tired. Finally, I am worried DD will associate night weaning with the new baby which may contribute to some difficult adjusting.

Any insight on all of this is most appreciated!

 

[whitecrew4]

You sound worn out. I'm sorry you are having such a hard time.
Have you been able to read Nighttime Parenting?

Nancy

 

[sea island mama]

Have you talked to her before bed about not nursing at night? When I decided to night-wean dd early in my pregnancy (about 8 weeks, I think), I told her whenn she went to bed that the milk would be sleeping (or something like that) & she wouldn't be able to have any until it was light again. She was actually really good about it. The first couple of nights were no problem; the third night she freaked out for about 1/2 hour. I didn't give in, just held & comforted her & after that she was fine. I never would have thought it would be that easy, but I guess she was ready. She was 2 1/4 at the time.
Talk to her & be firm if you make the decision to do it. She can sense your ambivalence. If you are going to nurse, tell her it will be to a count of ____ & then stop! Or if you want to nurse longer during the day, you can say, "just a little bit more" then count to 30 or 10, then stop. She will soon learn you mean it & will probably be ok with it.
I know how hard it is (I developed a nursing aversion a month later & had to almost completely cut dd off

), but she is old enough to understand limits & should be ok as long as you are consistent. You need your rest!
HTH

 

[nancg]

You've definitely made it through the worst. I think if you were to stop nursing at night for the next weeks you can always start back again if you like and if it seems to be a big struggle. Tandem nursing is tough, but not nearly in the same ways that nursing while pregnant is, and so I wouldn't make any permanent decisions now. Let your DD know what you have to do for now, do it, and then worry about fixing it all better post-baby.

One really nice thing about tandeming is that any moves toward weaning the older child are more reversible because the milk supply is always there. It will go up or down, obviously, depending on how much the toddler nurses, so you don't want to make big changes daily, but night-weaning for now could always be changed later.

Nancy
mom to nurslings Emily (4) and Hazel (1)

 

[sea island mama]

Quote:

Let your DD know what you have to do for now, do it, and then worry about fixing it all better post-baby.

oh yeah, I forgot about that! I always told dd it was only while the baby was in my tummy & when it came out she could nurse again if she wanted to

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