[koalove]

my dp is a massage therapist~ for the last 8 years. he has been working massage therapist hours~ late in the day, 12 hours or so a week, makes his own schedule etc. we recently moved to a new city and since it takes forever to build a client base etc., he had to get a regular job. he works in a deli about 30 hours a week. he works between 6 and 8 hours a day, 4 days a week. heres whats driving me NUTS~ he comes home and complains how tired and sore he is. how badly he needs a chiropractor and a massage, which he fully plans to get. i would love those luxuries but i just dont feel like its in the budget. here i am~ HUGE and pregnant, and at this point, pain is my daily theme. my pubic bones feel like they are grinding on a nerve in front, when i get up in the morning it takes me a full hour to walk without limping and if i sit for more than an hour, i have to go through that "loosening up" process all over again~ i cant breathe, my back kills, turning over in bed makes my pelvis crack and pop, which hurts, i need 3 root canals so im often up at night with tooth pain. and TIRED!! how many times a night does he get up to pee, or take tylenol for his teeth, or put ds back to bed, or to the potty? none. im also a full time student and im often up late doing homework. ugh. i never complain to him. sometimes i ask for a massage because after all, thats a perk to being with a massage therapist, right? but, hes usually too sore himself. i know this work thing is a big change for him, and he genuinely is tired and sore but seriously, im having trouble being sympathetic. anyone else have a partner who is acting like a total baby? ha. maybe its practice for when the real baby comes...

 

[LilMomma83]

lol thats how I feel when I call DH and he is STILL in bed (he goes in to work later than I do)...or we have housework and he wants to sleep instead--how nice, to bad the world really does *not* go on without me lol.

 

[SequoiasMom]

YES! My dp is always complaining about his back, and asking me for massage. Now, this is no different from when I am not pregnant, but it just bothers me more since I am. He does work very hard at a physically demanding job and long hours to boot, but....I am home all day with a super active toddler and a baby growing in my belly.
I have tried to "trade" with him, like if I give you a massage, then you give me one. It has never worked.
I don't have any advice, but this whole situation blows up into another, bigger issue that we have, that neither one of us feels valued enough. I never get credit for a clean house and laundry, dinner on the table, groceries stocked, animals fed and happy-
And don't know what he needs to feel appreciated, too.
HOwever, you sounds like you have a LOT more going on than I do, and maybe if y'all sit down and just have a calm, open conversation, you can see how the other feels. I'm sure you can work something out with him, even if it is just so he sees how much you are enduring, and give him a chance to express his frustrations. Sometimes, just getting a different perspective changes everything.

 

[Angelorum]

I think it's pretty standard for chiropractors to have family deals, maybe you could rework your budget a bit so you could both go in and get treatment. Sounds like you need it bad, mama. And if it gets your dp to stop whining, that's also a bonus for you!