I'm feeling very lost about this. When it's time to leave a playdate, after repeated warnings, Sam REFUSES to go. He runs and hides, laughing maniacally. He yells "YOU'VE GOT THE WRONG SAM" to try and confuse me so I'll think he's the wrong kid.
He enlists the help of his friend to physically thwart me. He bangs me with toys. I mean, this is just ridiculous.
planning/practicing in advance
developing a 'code word' game for us to signal leaving
giving many warnings before it is actually time to go
playing a game where I am a monster and chasing him out of the house
trying to calm him down and talk to him
telling him I love him and I can't live without him, won't he please come
talking about it after the fact when he's calmed down
The problem is compounded by the fact that, when on playdates, he is so engrossed in play that he refuses to eat or go to the bathroom. He winds up wetting his pants, and refuses to change them. He doesn't eat and this adds to his crazy behavior, I think.
Once I get him in the car, he calms down and we talk about what happened. Sometimes he even apologizes, but I don't think it is sincere. He promises not to hit me, etc, next time. But as you see by my posting here, that isn't happening.
So other than isolate ourselves at home, what do you suggest we do? I am at a loss here. I get so completely angry and rageful about this. I just really want to grab him in anger. I want to scream in his face "WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU!!!" I'm feeling so sad and disconnected from him right now. He seriously says he wants to stay and live with the other kid's family. "I love you mommy but I love *friend* more." I know that's just kids' talk. But this problem is just eating me alive. I'm storing up a lot of rage and frustration and it is NOT good.
Thanks for any advice you can give.