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We have had ALOT of negative from mainly my family. DHs side has many bigger families like ours so they are better with it all. My family is horrible. I have one brother who doesnt even talk to me, the other thinks we are crazy, they all have 1 or 2 kids max, think we crazy for homeschooling, nonvaxing, etc etc<br>
My Dad and Mom are split and my Dad has been bugging my dh through me to get a vasectomy , offering him a bottle of champagne for when its done, arghh, last time I saw him he said he was "concerned " because dh hasn't claimed the bottle yet!<br>
My Mom keeps quiet but I have heard some of the stuff going on behind our backs!<br>
Here is our story we sold our BIG home, big Mortgage so we could spend more time as a family. My dh worked away Mon-Fri so we never saw him. We sold our place and bought a 5th wheel and went travelling as a family , that was 2 years ago this August coming up. We are building a cob home right now and it may or may not be done in time for this babes arrival if not it would be done a year this fall. We are in our 5th wheel on our farm still, the kids love it and have lots of outside space!<br>
We are very happy, our kids are happy and healthy so I just dont understand why they have an issue with us choosing to have a big family and live "outside the Box". We dont ask for support financially or otherwise, if they offer to babysit we will take it but we don't ask!<br>
They WILL NOT be excited for us and I am starting to stress about telling them! I am 8 weeks in a few days and will be showing in no time with baby number 5! Any ideas on how to tell them? I have to go to a big work function for my Dad that is formal when I am 13 weeks and am thinking maybe I can get by without telling them until after that! I feel like not even telling anyone other than supportive friends! Sorry for the rant.. <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/greensad.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="greensad">
 

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I feel bad about writing this post now because it really isn't that bad.. and I feel bad for complaining! Think I was just feeling "down" this morning! Sorry to complain!
 

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Complain away <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/smile.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="smile"> Families are hard. We are going to be hiding a lot of stuff from my ILs and that will be stressful.<br><br>
Besides, I think your life is cool! I lived on a boat when I was 5 and my parents still like living on things that have diesel engines attached <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/wink1.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="wink1">
 

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Thanks so much, I keep telling myself NOT TO COMPLAIN, I am even contemplating putting a sign on my fridge <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/smile.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="smile"> But sometimes it just needs to be done!
 

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Hey Kim,<br>
I told my family today. They definitely have issues, we're expecting #9. They took it surprisingly well, although there were a few digs about how active #8 is at 13 months old (and he's the Tazmanian devil for SURE)<br><br>
They just want what's best for you, i'm sure, and haven't realized that you're responsible enough to figure that out for yourself. You sound happy and in love with life, what more could any mom want for her daughter?<br><br><img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="/img/vbsmilies/smilies/hug2.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="Hug2">
 

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I HEAR YOU! I have no intention of telling my parents until month 8, when they come and see me. This is baby #3, and they are very, very against anything above 2 - they simply don't see the point. My sister has 6, and they stopped congratulating her after #2, pointing to overpopulation and that she must be exhausted, and that why would she do this to herself? Isn't life about doing things the EEASSYY way? Well, not in my life it isn't.<br><br>
We live on one income, rather than two, so I can be home with the kids. We live in a 800 sq. foot apartment, rather than a big house, to keep costs down. We have one car rather than two. They think we're insane.<br><br>
I'm really sorry but I have to admit that I'm glad someone else is in the same boat - I felt pretty alone in not wanting my parents to know!
 

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You're not alone!<br><br>
The only irl person I've told is my sister, and I prefaced that with a whole speech along the lines of "I know my family is different and everyone is going to have an opinion, but I need you to know I will absolutely not tolerate any negativity about this..."<br><br>
In a way, I think it will be a tad bit "easier" since most of our family is fully aware that we had intended to be done. Still, I plan to make it clear to everyone that we're in an "If you don't have anything nice to say..." kinda place.<br><br>
I have enough to deal with!
 

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I sent an u/s pic to my parents -- so that they could call when they got over the shock, and I didn't just get their first reaction.
 

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We haven't told anyone either, except my sister. I know my dad will worry, especially since DH lost his job last week, so we are now facing a pregnancy and birth without health care, without income. To be honest, I am worried. But my dad would never say anything derogatory or hurtful.<br>
My inlaws on the other hand have no idea what they can and cannot say. I am dreading having to tell them. My mother in law is an unbelievable meddler, who thinks she has not only the right, but the duty to tell other people how to live their life. She was very negative with our last pregnancy, and that was only our second child, and DH had a job and I had health care. I cannot imagine the reaction this time around.<br>
I am going to be firm though. I'm going to make it very clear that DH and I are happy about the baby, despite the circumstances, and that I will not tolerate any negativity about the pregnancy or the baby. They can either comply, or stay the heck away from my family.
 

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I am so in the same situation with my family. Since i am showing already, I told my mom on Wed, after my ultrasound, because i didnt want my mothers day ruined. It went better than expected. My dad, on the other hand, lol I sent him a text message. He didnt reply. however, i got a message yesterday that say Happy mothers day, oh and congrats. LOL<br>
I am having number 5. My husband and i live on one income, have one car, and we are currently letting our home go to foreclosure, because my sons medical needs, have caused us to go bankrupt. We are looking for a rental home, which is a few hundred dollars a month, less than our mortgage. No i am not proud, but i am a homeschooling mom, and going to work, out of the home, is not possible. Life changed for us, and we had to make decisions.<br><br>
I think i will just post it on facebook, so everyone can get over it, before i talk to them. I am just now getting excited about this baby, and i dont want anyone to smash it for me.<br><br><br>
btw. we have totally thought of buying a 5th wheel and traveling, and if my DH gets a job, that he can telecommute, we think we will do it. It sounds amazing. But DH is a manager of software development, and he needs to be able to go to a building every day, so right now, it isnt possible.
 

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Last year when DH and I started talking about adding another baby, my father literally stood up at the table and said "dont you think you should discuss that with me first?"<br><br>
My parents have a lot of money and always gave me money, but as soon as I met DH, they acted like I was not part of the family anymore (maybe cuz his religion is different). Anyways, my father started acting like he owned me.<br><br>
So, I told him I didnt need his money and to keep it. Then he decided to give us a lump sum as a wedding present... which has yet to fully manifest (its been almost 2 years). He is really trying to use money to keep me attached via umbilical cord to him. Its bizarre. He even tried to deduct me and DD from HIS taxes! Uh... we dont even LIVE with you! And IM MARRIED. Talk about daddy's little girl... geez. LET GO!<br><br>
I was DREADING telling them. But my Dad was in such a good mood, I decided to print off a sono pic when we were at their house for dinner on mothers day and give it to my mother. Her face was priceless... his was too (but not in a good way). "Wow, good thing you got that new job." Oh shut up!<br><br>
It went better than I thought, in terms of Dad saying anything demeaning to DH. But still, I know how my father feels, pissed, hurt, angry... Im his daughter, how dare that foreigner knock me up! Yep, about like that. No one but my sister is excited really. Oh well! Im not even excited right now, so, I cant judge them! As long as they fake it, Im cool.<br><br><img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/smile.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="smile">
 

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You should be proud of yourselves, your choices and your new baby on the way. Hold your head up high. It's your life.<br><br>
I'd write them a letter to announce the pregnancy and to give them some time to edit their response to it. In the letter describe how happy you all are about the pregnancy.
 

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<div style="margin:20px;margin-top:5px;">
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<div>Originally Posted by <strong>kimmom</strong> <a href="/community/forum/post/15387784"><img alt="View Post" class="inlineimg" src="/community/img/forum/go_quote.gif" style="border:0px solid;"></a></div>
<div style="font-style:italic;">We have had ALOT of negative from mainly my family. DHs side has many bigger families like ours so they are better with it all. My family is horrible. I have one brother who doesnt even talk to me, the other thinks we are crazy, they all have 1 or 2 kids max, think we crazy for homeschooling, nonvaxing, etc etc<br>
My Dad and Mom are split and my Dad has been bugging my dh through me to get a vasectomy , offering him a bottle of champagne for when its done, arghh, last time I saw him he said he was "concerned " because dh hasn't claimed the bottle yet!<br>
My Mom keeps quiet but I have heard some of the stuff going on behind our backs!<br>
Here is our story we sold our BIG home, big Mortgage so we could spend more time as a family. My dh worked away Mon-Fri so we never saw him. We sold our place and bought a 5th wheel and went travelling as a family , that was 2 years ago this August coming up. We are building a cob home right now and it may or may not be done in time for this babes arrival if not it would be done a year this fall. We are in our 5th wheel on our farm still, the kids love it and have lots of outside space!<br>
We are very happy, our kids are happy and healthy so I just dont understand why they have an issue with us choosing to have a big family and live "outside the Box". We dont ask for support financially or otherwise, if they offer to babysit we will take it but we don't ask!<br>
They WILL NOT be excited for us and I am starting to stress about telling them! I am 8 weeks in a few days and will be showing in no time with baby number 5! Any ideas on how to tell them? I have to go to a big work function for my Dad that is formal when I am 13 weeks and am thinking maybe I can get by without telling them until after that! I feel like not even telling anyone other than supportive friends! Sorry for the rant.. <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/greensad.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="greensad"></div>
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</tr></table></div>
DDC crashing to tell you that<br><br>
#1- I am jealous, you are living my dream life of big family+outdoor sustainable living!<img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/bow.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="bow"><img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/clap.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="clap"><img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/thumbsup.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="thumbsup"><br><br>
#2- You just have to learn to ignore your family and live your own life. Would it be better if you just limit contact with them to the bare minimum?
 

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Hey mama, I feel for you. I don't have a supportive family as well. They think I am crazy for being different from mainstream society. I understand the heartache. However I also know that most of the time I feel at peace and that I am living MY truth. You have to remember that it is not about them, it is about you and YOUR family now. Find a place for the pain, disappointment and sadness. It will always be there but try to find a way not to dwell on it. Tell them when your ready. I was playing around with the idea of sending a photo of 2 apes with a baby ape between and writing "We're expecting". Get creative.<br><br>
And I am so glad to hear there are moms like you out there, following your bliss and not following the norm.<br><br>
Blessings!!<br><br>
Owlgirl
 

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Thanks for all the replies <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/smile.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="smile"><br>
I think I am the type of person who REALLY wants to have my families support but I am realizing that my parents and siblings are not my "main" family anymore. What matters is my husband, our kids and I are all very happy, healthy and living our dreams. I think I am going to go with send them an email announcing it and let them get back to me when they are feeling positive! We were thinking of writing.. Heres whats growing this Spring on the Robinson Farm.. Peas, beans, Corn, Squash, baby goats, chicks, and a new baby due Dec <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/smile.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="smile"><br>
Or something like that!<br>
Or our foundation is in, cob walls are going up and we are filling the house up, ha I just made that one up!<br>
Anyways thanks everyone its great to have some support on here, I appreciate more than you know!
 

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DDC crashing <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/winky.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="Wink"><br>
You know I love ya Kim keep your head up! Your an amazing momma and have a great family
 
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