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Discussion Starter · #1 ·
I am lucky not to have suffered from too much post-partum sadness, depression, etc - but my baby is 7 weeks and last night I dreamt I left her in the closet and went away for the day. I remembered (in my dream of course) late in the afternoon and called my mom to go feed her. I had several of these sort of "oh I forgot" sorts of dreams when I was pregnant too, and they always make me feel bad. But in the dream I didn't feel bad at all, was totally nonchalant.<br><br>
Well, this is my second week back at work and today, after feeling bad about the dream in the morning, it was really hectic and I forgot to pump in the afternoon, I only remembered when it was too late to take a break - my coworkers who could cover for me had left. I feel just terrible. I am really committed to breastfeeding and I don't want going back to work to "ruin" it like people tell me it did for them... and I can't believe I FORGOT. I feel like it totally echoes my dream, forgetting to feed my baby. How can I forget about making sure she has food?<br><br>
Also last night my husband was holding her while I was making dinner, and she cried out in her sleep in a panicked, scared sort of way. That made me sad too, it was the first time I heard her sound really scared instead of just hungry or fussy or whatever.<br><br>
Anyway. I'm sure this is a momentary lapse but I feel like a bad mom.
 

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If it makes you feel any better, the other night I dreamed I was considering feeding my baby to an alligator. <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/yikes.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="EEK!"> I figure it's our subconsciouses processing the many anxieties...not being a good mother, not handling the responsiblity, it goes on and on, doesn't it?<br><br>
I also understand the reaction to a different, scary cry like that. It tears my heart apart when my sweet boy's cry sounds like he's in such distress. I've been freaked out by a terrorized-sounding sleep cry, too. <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/hug.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="hug"><br><br>
Be good to yourself. Returning to work is a huge change.
 

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Our minds have ways of working through stresses while we sleep. I would venture to guess that lots of moms have had dreams like that in one form or another.<br><br>
I dreamed last night actually that I went to playgroup with my older daughter and forgot my other daughter at home on my bed. I tried to get home to her, but kept getting distracted by stupid things like a sale at K-Mart. <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="/img/vbsmilies/smilies/eyesroll.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="roll"> (And I can't even remember the last time I wanted to go to a K-Mart....) In the dream I called a friend to go home and get her, and she said, "Jenn, you did this AGAIN???"<br><br>
I felt horribly irresponsible when I woke up. <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/greensad.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="greensad"> Dreams are just dreams though. May you have peaceful sleep tonight!
 

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Oh yes, I've had many anxiety dreams like these, especially when I was pregnant. I would dream I forgot him places, that I slept for days and couldn't remember where he was, that he had things wrong with him, that he was sick, etc. They are scary, and they make me feel guilty every time. But as a PP said, it's just our brain working through tensions and fear and anxiety and worry. And going back to work with a tiny babe is very nerve-wracking. Give yourself a lot of room to just "be" and spend all your time relaxing with the baby. Hugs!!
 

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Discussion Starter · #5 ·
I had another dream about leaving my baby somewhere the next night, but last night, had a dream about the "Rick James" sketch from Chappelle's show, so maybe I'm working through the anxiety....<br><br>
it is really hard to be at work, though, and although it's hard to miss the babe for several hours, what's even harder is when I realize I've gone a long time without thinking of her because I've been so busy.
 
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