My older dd was a sleep nurser. She needed to nurse to sleep every time or there was no sleep! She finally started falling asleep on her own when she was almost 3. It happened very suddenly for us. She really enjoyed nursing and is just now completely weaning at nearly 4. My other dd was born right as Jazz was starting to fall asleep on her own so I do understand your difficulties, but they did not last long for me. Tandem nursing is a very trying time for us mommies! My only offering at this time is support - not much advice!