[WaturMama]

My 4 yo ds doesn't like washing his hands.

At 4 (and I think this is normal), he is really struggling with his sense of control. So dh and my reasoning that it is just something you have to do stay healthy has not gone over too well.

Ds and I had a good talk about it today. I told him I understand that he doesn't like watching his hands, but I also don't want us to get sick. (It is ds's first year in preschool and we have had tons of colds this winter and spring, mostly dh and I.) I told him I wasn't sure what to do. I asked him if he had any ideas. He didn't. The only thing I came up with was to ask other families how they handle it. That was an idea we both liked. So this is my end of the bargain. I hope some of you clever, gentle people have some ideas!

 

[joy_seeker]

My ds used to love it when we washed our hands together... I would stand behind him and cover his hands with mine and lather up while we sang silly songs.

 

[Cheshire]

For us not washing his hands wasn't an option. He knows that when it comes to safety there are a few things that he doesn't get to decide on (like riding in his car seat, holding our hands in a parking lot because he is still a runner sometimes, etc.).

It helps that our son's preschool puts a big emphasis on hand washing and they read a funny book about germs every now and then as a reminder.

We also took DS to the store and let him pick out his own hand soap.

He still sometimes balks at hand washing but I just remind him that he won't be able to play with his toys/eat his snack/eat his dinner/etc. until he's washed them. Our rules are we wash our hands when we get home from shopping/school, after going to the bathroom, before we eat and if we've been playing outside. It doesn't end up being that many times a day though after I typed it out it is a long list.

I remind him that he doesn't want to get germs on his toys or his food. That helps, too. And, that we all follow the rules helps him feel like it's not just him.

Have you thought about using a hand sanitizing gel as an option? It doesn't get the dirt off but it would kill the germs.

Best wishes - this is a tough one.

 

[One_Girl]

My dd used hand sanitizer for a long time. She used it as soap, not above and beyond soap so I don't feel, and her doctor didn't feel, that it was an issue that would contribute to the worries that many people have regarding hand sanitizer and bacteria. We also did soap races, washed together, and used really great smelling soaps that she loved to have on her hands. Someone in a previous thread mentioned that kids might eat the hand sanitizer, but it tastes really gross and one lick would be all that a child would do and wouldn't be any more of a health concern than it would be if they tried to swallow the wonderful smelling fruit soaps.

 

[just_lily]

Can you try a fun soap like Kan-do? I have a generic store brand version that has Cars on it (I normally hate branded stuff, but it was so much cheaper!) and my daycare kids love it. I have a very washing-resistant little boy that I watch, and whenever he tells me "no, I don't want to" I remind him he gets to use the "Racecar soap" and he washes with enthusiasm.

I now have to remind him that he only needs one pump of soap, and to turn the water off after a couple of minutes.

Good luck!

 

[boatbaby]

DS uses hand sanitizer in place of soap/water too. We keep it at the sink next to the liquid soap, and it squirts out the same way. For DS it's often a matter of not feeling comfortable controlling the water (too hot sometimes, too cold sometimes, having trouble turning it off, etc)

I have a friend who is a nurse and she told me that hand sanitizer is considered just as clean if not cleaner than using soap and water (esp with little people who aren't often great at really soaping up and scrubbing). So We keep it out for him and he is great about always using it now after going to the bathroom, after handling the guinea pig, etc.

 

[WaturMama]

Thanks for the ideas!

We have definitely said it is not optional, but still end up in big conflicts. Sigh.

I love the picking a soap and fun soap ideas, and I think that would help. The issue for our family is that I have asthma and my lungs get irritated by fragrances so I'd need to come up with some okay choices for him. That can be hard. If the person with the race car soap reads this, would you check and see if it has a fragrance? I would sure appreciate it. If not I'll look for it. Is it at regular drug stores?

Also we do have a hand sanitizer we like (CleanWell, with no synthetic fragrances, yay!). I always assumed that wasn't as good as hand washing. Maybe we'll make more liberal use of that. Giving him choices will help I'm sure.

Thanks so much everyone!

 

[octobermom]

We went through this. Something we discovered along the way though it wasn't the actual handwashing she disliked but us reminding her to wash her hands or asking did you wash.

We started saying when you done come show us your clean hands and suddenly the issues was solved shes proudly wash so shes could show us clean hands.

That and she hated cold water so we taught her how to use hot without buring herself.

Deanna

 

[WaturMama]

Great idea, octobermom! I bet that is part of it. Except my ds hates hot and even warm and always wants pure cold, even if it is so cold it's uncomfortable to me.

Also, I talked to ds today about the soap and sanitizer ideas and he liked them too. I know he really appreciates that I'm being less bossy about this.

 

[SquishyKitty]

Hands do have to be washed, either willingly or unwillingly. It's a hygiene issue, not a control issue.

Have him sing a song while you wash hands. Get him a fun soap dispenser, that he picks out. Make it fun for him until you get over the hump of not wanting to do it.

If all else fails, those hand sanitizing gels could be an option. I don't really like to recommend those because I firmly believe nothing beats a good handwashing with soap and warm water, but if you are really fighting to get his hands washed, that can work in the interim. I wouldn't use it long term though, I don't think it's as effective.

 

[just_lily]

Quote:

Originally Posted by WaturMama If the person with the race car soap reads this, would you check and see if it has a fragrance? I would sure appreciate it. If not I'll look for it. Is it at regular drug stores?

The soap we have is tutti-fruitty sented. It isn't overpowering like some of the flowery stuff, but it is there. I got it at Sobeys in Canada - it is their Our Compliments generic store brand. I have no idea if it would be available in the US anywhere, but I doubt it. It is their knock-off of Kan-doo soap.

Another thought is to go to WalMart or Target and get a fun dispenser from their Bathroom Decor section. Then you can fill it with whatever soap you want.

 

[WaturMama]

Quote:

Originally Posted by just_lily Another thought is to go to WalMart or Target and get a fun dispenser from their Bathroom Decor section. Then you can fill it with whatever soap you want.

That's a great idea! Thank you.

 

[crazydiamond]

I just make DD do it. She's mainly over the hump now at nearly 4, but when she was really resisting I would just tell her once or twice that she needed to do it. After that, I just told her that she can do X after she washes her hands. . whenever that may be. Now she just goes on her own and it's not a battle anymore.

Also, the thing about hand sanitizers is that they do kill germs more effectively than hand washing, but they are not a replacement for hand washing when the hands are soiled. If my DD's been digging in the sand, hand sanitizer is not going to cut it. Likewise after using the restroom or before/after eating. There are certain times that good old soap and water is essential. If you're worried about germs at that point, then use the sanitizer. I, personally, cannot stand the stuff and don't keep it in my house For us, making her just wash her hands was the best solution.

 

[PikkuMyy]

Kiss My Face makes some great foaming soaps, as do several other natural brands - I have found that with most kids, these are easiest to use because they wash off much more easily than regular soap.

 

[crazydiamond]

Actually, I meant to add this earlier, but PikkuMyy reminded me. . .I prefer Dr. Bronners for hand soap, so I just bought some of the foaming dispensers off eBay and use that in it. Works perfectly and DD likes it!

 

[labdogs42]

My DS likes the foamy soap. I bought one pump container, then I have been refilling it with hand soap & water (1 to 3 ratio). It works well, kids like it and it is cheap!

 

[KatWrangler]

I got the Kan-do soap for my kids stocking. I was having trouble with my 4 1/2 year old washing his hands well.

Verdict? They love it! Definately worth the cost of the soap.

 

[luv-my-boys]

my children have all gone thru a no hand washing stint as well. I made (found the graphic online) of a superhero fighting germs by handwashing. it helped, we also found a great soap that turns colors if you didnt wash well. The boys loved it. I have also found that foam hand sanitizer was a bigger hit than the gel type. They loved to squish the foam all over their hands.