Mothering Forum banner
1 - 13 of 13 Posts

·
Registered
Joined
·
180 Posts
Discussion Starter · #1 ·
My DS is 10 months old. We still co-sleep and he nurses ALL night long (at least 4 times). Recently we purchased a baby matress and put it on the floor near our bed and we will start him off on the matress, then when he wakes, let him join us in our bed.

Here is my question:

I have tried to let my mother watch him three times during the evening (once a month for the past 3 months) so my husband and I could go out to a movie.
When my DS wakes up he FREAKS OUT. He will drink the entire bottle that I leave for him that I pumped and continue to cry and cry until I come home.
It seems like he just knows the second I leave because he will wake up within 15 minutes and want me. I return home immediately each time.

During the day he is completely fine with my mom. It is just at night time that we seem to have this problem.

September 16th my DH has something planned for us in the evening. Do you think it is realistic to think that by that time (my DS will be a year) I will be able to leave him for 5 hours during the evening.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
5,857 Posts
Honestly? No. I wouldn't go. My dd just recently started not freaking out if I wasn't there and she's 26 months. He doesn't get that you didn't leave him forever. That's what it feels like to him.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
242 Posts
Quote:
It seems like he just knows the second I leave because he will wake up within 15 minutes and want me.
I can totally relate! I have a 9mo. Even if I'm just going out of a walk after I put him down. I walk as fast as I can knowing my cell phone will be ringing any moment...if I leave the phone I come home to a screaming baby and a stressed DH. Its like they have a sensor! Is my smell that strong?


My 1st DS was the same way. We rarely go out in the evenings for dates. The kids go to be early enough we have dates at home. Saves $$


I too think he just needs his mama. Maybe you could change the date to an earlier time? You said he's fine during the day w/your mom. Right? That way you can enjoy yourself, not be conserned about him or have the date cut short by a call from home.

This needy time wont last forever. It will pass all too fast!
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
180 Posts
Discussion Starter · #5 ·
Thanks for the input. I love being a breast-feeding, co-sleeping, attached mom, but I seriously have not been able to leave him once at night (for longer than 30 mintues).

We are big footballs fans in our house and my DH wanted to bring me to a Monday Night Football Game.

I told him I do not think my DS would be okay with me not being there at night.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
42,824 Posts
My dd is 23 months and I've never left her at night- only a couple hours during the day with her dad. They just need mama a lot in those first couple of years.



-Angela
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
1,792 Posts
we have trouble with night too. DD is not okay if she falls asleep before DW goes out. If I put her down it's not so bad but it takes me a long time go get her down.

We haven't gone out together in the evening since she was born (DD is 15 months) we're hoping to go out on a 'date' in the afternoon shortly though because afternoon is way better for her. She's so much more independent now than she used to be and she's starting to feel comfortable with other people so we're hopeful that we might have a few hours together. That's an afternoon though, not an evening.

Maybe you can find a Sat or Sun afternoon game to go to instead?
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
491 Posts
Quote:

Originally Posted by Orion'smommy
Thanks for the input. I love being a breast-feeding, co-sleeping, attached mom, but I seriously have not been able to leave him once at night (for longer than 30 mintues).

We are big footballs fans in our house and my DH wanted to bring me to a Monday Night Football Game.

I told him I do not think my DS would be okay with me not being there at night.
Mmm....Football
I love MNF, too! But I have to agree with pps, I don't think your sweet boy will be ready to be without mom by the middle of Sept. Like Kathryn said, he just doesn't understand that you won't be gone forever and that can be very frightening.

What about this: invite some other fans over to your house and ask mom to come over and "babysit". Then you can be there when DS wakes up, help him realize everything is good in the world, and go back to watching football. I know, I know...not anywhere near as cool as actually being there, but...

Hang in there, mama!
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
662 Posts
I still have never left my dd's at night (my older dd did stay with my parents at our house when I was in the hospital having dd#2)- anyway- my younger daughter is 26 months and it has only been 2 or 3 months that she hasn't freaked out when I wasn't there. Now when she wakes she gets out of the bed and comes looking for me (in the morning mostly). Even now, though- 9 times out of 10 she wakes within 5 minutes of me waking up- she just knows every time I get out of the bed, lol. I think it is completely normal for your 10 month old to get upset without you there.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
1,662 Posts
Sounds so much like my son right now, too. If he wakes up and I'm not there, it's an immediate freak-out.

I was at a family reunion a couple weeks ago, where my MIL had planned a super special "date night" for all her married children. It cost her quite a bit of money, a night at the Dinner Theater. I had been there before and couldn't really see how it would work to bring DS. So after a lot of turmoil, we worked out a plan where they could bring DS (and his cousin just barely younger) to us to nurse during intermission.

I ended up really regretting it. DS was so upset that he threw up in his car seat. Probably an hour of screaming, when you count the travel time. All so his mama wouldn't feel guilty about wasting money that MIL spent without checking first to see if it was an ok plan or not. I want to say, sure, I can do something occassionally without my baby. But I don't want him to pay the price. If I had to do it again, I think I'd do it differently.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
22 Posts
I've never been to a football game and ds is only 3 mos so not sure if this would work... but what if you wore your ds in a carrier. Then he could fall asleep when he's ready and you could go to the game. Maybe at that age he can't fall asleep with all the stimulation
 

·
Premium Member
Joined
·
10,324 Posts
My ds is almost 2, and its been just the last month or so that I think he'd be ok if I wasn't here when he woke up. And he'd still have to be with someone very familiar- like dp or my mom.
So, no. I'd not go at 1yo.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
180 Posts
Discussion Starter · #13 ·
Well today he stayed with my MIL for 3.5 hours during the day and absolutely loved her!

So later on this week we will try a movie again and see how he does.

Thank you for all of your help. Even if he does well I am not sure if I would feel confident enough to leave him during the evening. I just miss him so much!
 
1 - 13 of 13 Posts
Top