[UmmIbrahim]

hey all

Okay so my son has become an absolute nightmare to deal with!!!!

I know he's starting to teeth but its very minor and just the beginning but dh and I r convinced it's becos i've "spoiled" him by always carrying him around and running to him as soon as he's even whimper. I donno, I always felt that was the right way...but right now...lemme tell you he;s become a TOTAL monster and i'm seriously at the end of my rope dealing with this kid!

So yesterday-he cried like the ENTIRE day-not a hungry cry, not a in pain cry, not a sick cry...but a "im bored, wanna be picked up, waaah" cry!
yup, he was fine in the morning till about noon then started to scream his little head off, Once I 8finally* got to eating lunch he was screamig then...I laid him down to take a nap-screaming! Finally, I had to lay down beside him and he fell asleep screaming his head off, the phone rang 2 hrs later and he woke up screaming his head off! We went to the farmers market in the south side around 4pm and on the bus ride back started to scream his head off, we get home, i feed him and ate my dinner to him screaming his head off (dh had to go to a all day seminar for his major).
Finally...around 6:30 I was SOOOOOO angry and upset and ticked off I was shaking like a leaf and had the worst stomach ache! Every cry just made it worse...finally he fell asleep at around 7pm for the night.

He woke up this morning at 4am crying-again!!!!! Dh took him so I could get some sleep becos he also kept waking me up to eat-something he never does-he norm sleeps all night. Well, he cried ALL morning till about 7am! Poor dh didnt get ANY more sleep and I barely got any more myself...he was crying the entire time! So dh leaves for campus and I feed him and lay him down for his morning nap at 8:45...he slept literally 15minutes and woke up crying his head off! I have to go downtown to run an errand, im NOT about to take a tired cranky baby on the bus. He NEEDS to sleep..its now not even 9:30am and he's been up since 9am, so I refed him and decided I would leave him, turn on the air conditioners and let him cry and scream his little heart out with the hopes he'd go back to sleep!

I feel like a retched, horrible, evil witch of a mom for doing this!
And..oh the poor neighboors! All day long, when he cries like this the people around us will leave and shut their doors SO loud its like *BANG* to show their disapproval...well, hello..i cant stop his darn crying!

Its not even 9:30am and i ALREADY and stressed out, have a horrible upset stomach from his screaming his head off and hate the day & wish it was over-already!!!!

What is wrong? Ive always been so attentive to him and he NEVER used to cry like this, NEVER!!!!! But lately...id say about the past week-with yesterday and probably today , being the climax!!!

Ive always dislliked those moms who leave their kids in the crib and let them cry for hours on end...and look, ive become one of them! All I want to do right now is runnnnnn farrrrr farrrrrr farrrrrrr away!!!!!!I have 1 more paper to finish, i have errands to run, like this is CRAZY!!!! id like to have my mom come by and actually watch him for a WHOLE day so I could get a freakin break but she always makes lame-o excuses and why she cant and dh does take him when he gets home so I can get a break...but 6pm is sooo far away, N if I call him and tell him he needs to come home before I loose my marbles...he will, but I hate doing that becos he has sooomuch research he needs to get done.

Sigh, pls..i really need some advice and support with this!

Umm Ibi

 

[Molliejo]

How old is he?

 

[nigellas]

Maybe he has an ear infection or is teething. Regardless...Sounds like he needs your comfort now more than ever.

 

[UmmIbrahim]

5 months

Ive tried to comfort him, and when I pick him up he's fine-giggles and laughs...he doesnt seem to be sick...but as soon as I put him down---its like all heck breaks loose!

Umm Ibi

 

[wflcpw]

Okay, breathe and go get your son out of the crib. You sound very stressed. For one thing, it is difficult when we have all these things we *think* have to be done right now. I have found when DS1 was like that, he just wanted my attention. I would read to him, play with him, walk outside with him, sing, ect. Really he only needed about a half of an hour, then he would play by himdlef, but if not, I would strap him on me and proceed to do what I needed to do, if it was feasible. Writing a paper, you need to do that when he sleeps. Could you wear him until he fell asleep, then write your paper? I have 4 children and I have learned, when DS2 needs me - well, he needs me and everything else can wait, even if he needs me longer than I want him to. See, since he is my 4th I know they are gone way too fast. You are ***not*** spoiling your baby by meeting his needs. You are teaching him that you will - always. Co-sleeping works for us, allows me to sleep while he nurses. Also, I nurse him to sleep and read or write while he is nursing to sleep. My ds also at times wakes up after 15 minutes and even though you know he needs sleep, that cat nap was all he needed for now and letting him cry will not accomplish anything. Keep him up a while, like an hour, devote some time to him, then try to put him back down.

 

[silverkts]

I went through something like this a couple of weeks ago with DD. She was so clingy and whiny and crying so much I didn't know how to deal with it. I was so tired and had so much to do, it was very stressing. Babies have so much growing and learning to do, your DS is probably having a hard time handling it all, like my DD was. But it passes. Soon after this phase (it lasted about a week, week and a half or so), she started learning in leaps and bounds.
In the meanwhile, please don't let your baby CIO. He's having a hard time enough as is and needs his momma more than ever. I know things are busy for you...just try to ignore what doesn't need to be done, and do the rest after he goes to sleep. I know its difficult and stressing, having just gone through it myself, but I am so glad that I was there for my DD, and now she seems more secure than she has ever been. Hang in there!

 

[lolar2]

Two quick practical things:

1. When I wear DS on the bus in the Ergo, he tends to be very quiet even if he's having a fussy day. So don't rule it out (unless you've tried it before and know for sure it's a bad idea, in which case, ignore this suggestion).

2. No WAY do I even attempt to write papers with DS around. Either we're around family who can take him, or I have a babysitter there who faithfully holds him and doesn't let him cry, or (when I go back to school in the fall) he will be in part-time daycare at a place where I know for sure they never let the babies cry.

 

[leerypolyp]

yes, my first thought was that he might be ill -- even if it's not a 'pain' cry, sometimes i just think they can be miserable with something around the clock.

i know how insanely frustrating it can be when they cry and cry like that. i do think sometimes you have to lay a (fed, otherwise cared-for, etc) baby down in a safe place for a few minutes while you go collect yourself. you don't need to lose your sh&t.

but your baby isn't acting this way because you "spoiled" him or held him too much. he's acting this way because he's uncomfortable or going through some developmental change, and he trusts you to comfort him. take all the support you can get -- if your husband misses out on a couple of hours of work, but it keeps you from losing your marbles, it's a worthy tradeoff, and certainly nothing to feel guilty about.

how old is your babe? anything else unusual going on?

 

[sarbear]

It sounds like your son is in pain... Try to be sympathetic with him, remember that he has no other way of communicating with you than by crying. It is not his fault, and it has nothing to do with the way you have been parenting him. He is just a tiny baby, expressing his needs to you.
It could be teething, it could be something else. Whatever it is, it will pass... try to set aside other obligations right now (I know that is hard), do whatever you can to make this time easier for yourself and for him

 

[UmmIbrahim]

Hey

Thanks for the advice all..but still im majorly like *clenched teeh*...thankflly ds has fallen asleep...sigh...

I do wear him on my back on the bus-but i know thou that when he's tired and cranky...he'll scream his head off...and it makes me look bad becos people already stare me down for wearing him like that...the screaming child just reinforces whatever stupid thing they r thinking.

I donno...dh just called and im just praying this is a short phase! I seriously hate the feeling like im about ready to explode.

:

:

 

[Cuau]

I'm sorry you are going through this, my dd is sometimes like that. She'll get bored and start crying, so I have to do "something". I used to write papers at home, with my babe there. One thing I noticed is that it was better to take care of her for 30-60 min and then once she was sleeping move on. When I tried neglecting her (I'm not saying you do, but I did) or just leaving her with some toys, it would be a constant going to check on her because she was bored or because was crying or something. So it's better to put all your attention in her for a little while and then once you dc is sleeping or content you can try your work.

Do you wear your baby? That could problably help. Also if you are trying to get a paper done, is there anyone who can take care of your dc for a couple of hours. If not, why don't you call your dh, I know he needs to get done some research, but you are important too, and it might have a long term benefit for you all.

hugs!!

 

[Jess A]

(HUGS).

If it doesn't seem to be a pain cry, he could be ready to make a developmental milestone. I have noticed that all of my kids have regressed/gone through fussy stages right before they made a bit leap forward. I have found that months four and five tend to be like what I call the teenagerhood of babyhood. Babies tend to fuss more and aren't as complacent as they maybe once were. He's too little to be a newborn but not big enough to play well on his own.

I just went through this with my youngest. Things are better now that he can sit on his own (almost 7 months), but he's teething and wanting to crawl and desperately wants to explore and do what he sees his siblings do but he's not ready for yet. This makes him fairly high needs and needing of much of my attention.

There are days that are hard, especially when I try to give everyone the attention they want. I try to keep calm and verbalize what I'm feeling (even if Owen can't understand, I want to model using words to express yourself). But it's hard and I feel for you.

HUGS and know you are not alone.

 

[alegna]

I agree- it sounds like he's uncomfortable in some way.

If he's happy while you hold him, plan to hold him as much of the day as possible. You're not going to get papers done.

Do you have a sling or other way to wear him?

-Angela

 

[gabysmom617]

Sorry, nak

Wear him, put him on your back and take care of your business. This was about the age when I started having to wear my baby a lot. He's telling you that you need to wear him.

Sounds like he may also be teething, too. Poor babe...hope everying goes ok.

If your are artsy and have some yards of fabric, try this website:

http://www.mamatoto.org

 

[MommytoHHH]

My DD has been like this the past few days. She had a hearing check appointment and they verified that she doesn't have an ear infection. She has no fever and seems in good health. She doesn't have any teeth coming through. Lo and behold, I got AF last night for the first time PP. So I'm wondering if it's related to that. Have you had your first PPAF yet? Could it be coming? I was SO um, shocked!

 

[GradysMom]

How do you "know" he isn't in pain. How do you "know" the teething is minor? I think all us mothers are guessing.
BTDT my ds would-not-let-me-put-him-down-at-all for two days when there was no "obvious" teething going on.

Hylands teething tablets, patience during this growth spurt...

:

If you need a break - arrange for one immediately... and start to ask him for help. "mommy needs your patience" "Mommy needs a momment to get to you." And call his bluff calmly at times... "are you sure this is something to cry about, I'm right here" "Mommy would love to share kisses instead of being upset"

Keep trying new things like this.. this too shall pass... and his responses may suprise you

 

[Decca]

I'm writing my dissertation, so I understand where you are coming from. You're super-stressed because the work HAS to be done, no matter what mood your baby is in. I think those of you who are kindly suggesting that she set the work aside for a bit don't realize that that's just not an option.

Can you get any help at all, even a mother's helper? I've given up on writing when I'm alone with the baby. I can read a little bit, but for writing, I need someone else to be in charge.

Good luck to you.

 

[bellymama]

Quote:

Originally Posted by UmmIbrahim hey all Okay so my son has become an absolute nightmare to deal with!!!! I know he's starting to teeth but its very minor and just the beginning but dh and I r convinced it's becos i've "spoiled" him by always carrying him around and running to him as soon as he's even whimper. I donno, I always felt that was the right way...but right now...lemme tell you he;s become a TOTAL monster and i'm seriously at the end of my rope dealing with this kid! So yesterday-he cried like the ENTIRE day-not a hungry cry, not a in pain cry, not a sick cry...but a "im bored, wanna be picked up, waaah" cry! yup, he was fine in the morning till about noon then started to scream his little head off, Once I 8finally* got to eating lunch he was screamig then...I laid him down to take a nap-screaming! Finally, I had to lay down beside him and he fell asleep screaming his head off, the phone rang 2 hrs later and he woke up screaming his head off! We went to the farmers market in the south side around 4pm and on the bus ride back started to scream his head off, we get home, i feed him and ate my dinner to him screaming his head off (dh had to go to a all day seminar for his major). Finally...around 6:30 I was SOOOOOO angry and upset and ticked off I was shaking like a leaf and had the worst stomach ache! Every cry just made it worse...finally he fell asleep at around 7pm for the night. He woke up this morning at 4am crying-again!!!!! Dh took him so I could get some sleep becos he also kept waking me up to eat-something he never does-he norm sleeps all night. Well, he cried ALL morning till about 7am! Poor dh didnt get ANY more sleep and I barely got any more myself...he was crying the entire time! So dh leaves for campus and I feed him and lay him down for his morning nap at 8:45...he slept literally 15minutes and woke up crying his head off! I have to go downtown to run an errand, im NOT about to take a tired cranky baby on the bus. He NEEDS to sleep..its now not even 9:30am and he's been up since 9am, so I refed him and decided I would leave him, turn on the air conditioners and let him cry and scream his little heart out with the hopes he'd go back to sleep! I feel like a retched, horrible, evil witch of a mom for doing this! And..oh the poor neighboors! All day long, when he cries like this the people around us will leave and shut their doors SO loud its like *BANG* to show their disapproval...well, hello..i cant stop his darn crying! Its not even 9:30am and i ALREADY and stressed out, have a horrible upset stomach from his screaming his head off and hate the day & wish it was over-already!!!! What is wrong? Ive always been so attentive to him and he NEVER used to cry like this, NEVER!!!!! But lately...id say about the past week-with yesterday and probably today , being the climax!!! Ive always dislliked those moms who leave their kids in the crib and let them cry for hours on end...and look, ive become one of them! All I want to do right now is runnnnnn farrrrr farrrrrr farrrrrrr away!!!!!!I have 1 more paper to finish, i have errands to run, like this is CRAZY!!!! id like to have my mom come by and actually watch him for a WHOLE day so I could get a freakin break but she always makes lame-o excuses and why she cant and dh does take him when he gets home so I can get a break...but 6pm is sooo far away, N if I call him and tell him he needs to come home before I loose my marbles...he will, but I hate doing that becos he has sooomuch research he needs to get done. Sigh, pls..i really need some advice and support with this! Umm Ibi

hi umm ibrahim...our sons are the same age i think...i am going thru a similar thing....no advice, just wanted to let you know you aren't alone! this too shall pass

...quickly we hope!

 

[bellymama]

just so everyone knows, umm ibrahim definetly wears her baby...she has helped me a lot on th babywearing board...great suggestions for a mommy that doesn't BW but she def. does...
if hes anything like my ds, he is bored, teething, wants to crawl and starting to have a wee bit of seperation anxiety. there is a possibility he could be ill, but i think mamas like umm are pretty in tune with their babes, she probably can tell his cries...i know i can tell when my son has his pain cry.

 

[acupuncturemomma]

when dd is like that, wearing her all day in the ergo is the only thing that helps.

hang in there!