DS is only 15 months and I'm already getting hassled!

yep. you learn to let them shoot their mouths off, and sweetly say, "thank you for your concern. i'll keep your ideas in mind."

do not engage in debate. just keep thanking them and being nice.

took me about 10 years to figure this out. took my folks another three or four to figure out that their methods were not working, and back off... but they DID back off.

now i have new ILs, with a new baby. FIL started in on us, at christmas, about vaccinations. i remembered my own advice, and applied it right away. it worked! he's convinced i'm a loony, but that i'm also a very polite and hardheaded loony to boot.

wish someone had told me this 18 years ago!

k

Hi all. I was on these boards way back when DD Aubrey was still a bun in the oven, but dropped off. Now she is 4 and I am back, mostly to get support and ideas for homeschooling.

We have always been inclined to homeschool, even before we knew we were going to have children. I expected that we would encounter a lot of resistance when she got to be 5 and it would be time to enroll in PS. I NEVER expected to get all the pressure when she was 3! It comes not just from family, but from some of our friends, and most often from strangers that we meet who ask, "How old are you, little girl?" Then she says "4." and they reply, "What school do you go to?" I am just floored by this.

When the majority of the children in our circle of friends reached the age of 3, they started pre-school. I understand that the parents wanted their kids to be excited about this (possibly intimidating) new step, but they just hyped it up sooooo much in our presence, that Aubrey started to feel left out. It reached a head when a good friend was talking excitedly about their DD, 6 months younger than ours, going to pre-school soon. Aubrey hung her head, kicked the dirt, and said "I'm not old enough to go to pre-school." (Aubrey KNOWS that she is older than this other littel girl.) It just broke my heart!

So, we started talking about homeschooling with Aubrey. An acquaintance who also homeschools refers to "non-homeschoooling" as "away school". I really like this phrase, as opposed to "school", "pre-school", or worst, "real school". So now that we have given Aubrey something to say in response to those ever-present questions, she happily says, "We are homeschooling."

All that being said, I really started to doubt myself in the last few months and have been thinking about some sort of pre-school for her. I don't think I really have any good reasons, other than wanting her to be more comfortable in groups of children. Deep down, I know it is just a crisis of confidence. So, I went to the library and got Teach Your Own by John Holt, and after reading a few chapters, as well as these boards this morning, I am feeling better. Not to mention, the $3000 that we might have spent on Montessori can go a long way toward some great learning materials, field trips, musical instruments, etc.

OK, this post was longer than I intended!

Thanks for the great community here.

Diane

It's best not to say anything. When the time comes just tell everyone what you decided. A friend of mine gave everyone in her family The Womanly Art of Breast Feeding and an Attachment parenting book and said..."we are going to be nursing till the baby weans itself...could be 2 or 5 yos but it will be when ever he is ready...and this is what we are doing so you are aware of our parenting philosophy and can understand it better." No one gave her any problems in her family. Maybe when it is time you can hand out homeschooling books (some John Holt books would be good) and links to various websites that support what you are planning to do.

I get questions every once in awhile. The biggest one is...."Aren't you concerned about the socialization your kids are missing from school." If they have kids I respond,"Aren't you concerned about the socialization your kids ARE getting in school??" That usually shuts them up.

If they don't have kids or little ones before school age...I usually can have a good conversation with them about "socialization". It is interesting how many people think socialization for kids can only happen in school with kids their own age. Kids not in school have the ability to socialize with adults, kids of various ages and experience the real world first hand.

My mom was concerned it would be too much for me homeschooling because I live far from family and never get many breaks away from my kids. But then after watching the Columbine shootings on the news, hearing regular bad stuff going on in schools and seeing nationwide how the schools are failing our children she thought I was doing the right thing by homeschooling.

To those skeptical of homeschooling...don't even try mentioning unschooling. They think it means NO SCHOOL so NO LEARNING.. I couldn't believe how many negative responses I got for just discussing unschooling to people. It's best just to say we're homeschooling. They aren't going to check in on your day to day lives anyway.