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Should I be worried. My almost 2.5 year old refers to his id twin (they are 2 of my triplets - just to clarify) by his name, not his twin's name? <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="/img/vbsmilies/smilies/dizzy.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="Dizzy">: Other times he calls his twin by the correct name - but recently, I've heard him using his own name. This is a little freaky to me? Does he not understand his name v. his brothers? Is he confusing identity?<br><br>
I've had concerns over their language development before - but then saw them improve so much that I held off on having any kind of developmental testing. Obviously this isn't so much a language development issue -- but should this be a red flag to me for other developmental issues.<br><br>
Thanks in advance.
 

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One of my MZ girls does a version of this. They also aren't big talkers. So if we say "point to Olivia" they will both point to the one who is Olivia. But if we say "point to Katharine", Katharine still points to Olivia (does that make sense?) Basically, she has given her sister BOTH names and doesn't claim her own. <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="/img/vbsmilies/smilies/dizzy.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="Dizzy">:<br><br>
I think it might take a bit longer for multiples to get a sense of self. With my singleton son, it took a while before he knew the boy in the mirror was just a reflection of himself -- I imagine that as an MZ twin, when your "reflection" is walking, talking, eating and playing with you all the time... it just takes more time to make the distinction.<br><br>
Maybe mamas with older multiples have better advice -- but you are not alone on this one!
 

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Can I respond as an id twin myself? My sister is no longer with me in that she passed away in an accident when we were 20, but I do remember the identity merging. 'I' was 'we' for a long time. Even at 20, when Lin died, I recall writing poems about how "I can live since we have died."<br><br>
Seeing her name in writing was like seeing my own name in writing. Her name was mine as much as mine was mine. It wasn't due to anything inherently wrong with us. We were both very bright children. I'd like to think that I'm an intelligent adult, as well <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/wink1.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="wink1">.<br><br>
It does take longer to see yourself as an individual when much of your identity is tied up in someone who is so much physically and emotionally a part of yourself.
 

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My girls are fraternal, but one of them did this for a long time, too. At first they knew everyone's name, but their own. I swear they'd repeat the name of the cable guy, but would not repeat either their own name or their sister's. Then they'd get confused as to who was "fifi" and who was "ona" Phoebe figured it out much sooner than Fiona, but Fiona eventually figured out her name.<br><br>
For the longest time they called each other and themselves "sist" for sister.
 

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Mine never did that -- now they are 4yo and will joking do it to drive the other one crazy. Are their names similar at all?<br><br>
I wouldn't give it much thought. Just say, "you're X, your brother is Y, daddy's name is daddy, blah blah," and if it's a phase they'll get over it.
 

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my fraternal boys are only 19 1/2 months, but they do this too, I was thinking about writing this question myself, I had a friend whose daughter would point to herself when you'd say "where is Summer" when she was 18 months... they name many many things but when talking about each other they'll always point to the other not themselves. I think its seems pretty normal to me, them taking longer to see themselves as individuals. They identify "things" as each others' like their lovies. They also have similar sounding names when we use the nicknames so I'm sure this adds to it all.<br><br>
One still does this at 2 1/2 now (his name is "harder" to say, not sure if that's part of it)
 

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Mine have some I/we stuff in conversation too. I think it's natural. I'm glad to hear from an adult twin and so sorry for the loss of your twin and your "we"... My girls know each others' names but often confuse I and we when discussing who is who and who does what. Then other times they are VERY quick to correct me as in "NO, AAAAAANNNNIIIIIII wanted the purple one, MOMMY!!!!" <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/lol.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="lol"><img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="/img/vbsmilies/smilies/dizzy.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="Dizzy">:<br><br>
FWIW, I think a lot of what is normal in multiples development is just not discussed in developmental literature and therefore is treated as abnormal. But it's normal for multiples. That's what I think anyway. (Opinion worth what it cost you. <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/lol.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="lol"> )
 

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<div>Originally Posted by <strong>ChristaN</strong> <a href="/community/forum/post/7940233"><img alt="View Post" class="inlineimg" src="/community/img/forum/go_quote.gif" style="border:0px solid;"></a></div>
<div style="font-style:italic;">Can I respond as an id twin myself? My sister is no longer with me in that she passed away in an accident when we were 20, but I do remember the identity merging. 'I' was 'we' for a long time. Even at 20, when Lin died, I recall writing poems about how "I can live since we have died."<br><br>
Seeing her name in writing was like seeing my own name in writing. Her name was mine as much as mine was mine. It wasn't due to anything inherently wrong with us. We were both very bright children. I'd like to think that I'm an intelligent adult, as well <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/wink1.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="wink1">.<br><br>
It does take longer to see yourself as an individual when much of your identity is tied up in someone who is so much physically and emotionally a part of yourself.</div>
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Thank you for sharing this. <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/love.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="love">: And I'm so sorry you lost your sister.
 

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Mine are younger (19 mos) and fraternal, but when I hold Gus up in front of a mirror, he consistently points to my reflection and says "Mama!" and then points to himself and says "Ben!" (actually he says "Men!" since he has decided that is his brother's name<img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/lol.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="lol"> ) Ben does the same thing occasionally. They look nothing alike, so I have chalked this up to the fact that they are together all the time...just one of those wierd twin things. Does he respond to his twin's name when addressed? That would seem a little more unusual to me. Mine only respond to their own names. I think labeling self is a sophisticated skill that must be confusing when you are born as part of a group.
 

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one of my mz girls refers to her sister by her own name and not her sister's. i'm not worried about this and haven't corrected the behaviour. they are very verbal, i'm sure this will sort itself out in time.
 
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