DS repeats the same thing over and over and over...

3450 Views 21 Replies 21 Participants Last post by Suzetta, Apr 19, 2006

nova22

Discussion Starter · Apr 12, 2006

I'm working hard to accept that my three year old son is extremely intense, and different from his sister and therefore has to be treated differently, but this one has me stumped.

He will repeat himself over and over again until I think I'm going to go crazy. I have tried all kinds of different tactics, using each for several days at a time, but nothing seems to work.

This morning, it was
"Mama, baby move?"
"You want to feel the baby move?"
"Baby move?"
"If you want to feel the baby move, put your hand right here. May I have your hand?"
"Baby move?"
"The baby is moving right there."
"Baby move?"
no response as I get annoyed
"Baby move?"
"If you want to feel the baby move, put your hand there. Otherwise, please stop asking."
"Baby move?"
"Baby move?"
"Baby move?"
and on and on and on...

Then on the way home from dinner with my sister, he was holding his toy "LarryBoy". I was driving and I have very strict rules about turning around while I'm driving - I don't do it. I have stressed with the kids that if they need something, they can get it from my passenger if there is one, or they need to wait until the car is stopped, because I'm not going to risk having an accident because I'm reaching into the back seat every five minutes. So he says -

"Mama, no LarryBoy!"
"You don't want LarryBoy anymore?"
"Yeah! NO LarryBoy!"
"Okay. Mama cannot reach back there. You can put LarryBoy in your cup holder, or give him to Aunt B-."
"NO! NO LARRYBOY! NO LARRYBOY. NO LARRYBOY. NO LARRYBOY. NO LARRYBOY."
...and on, for the remaining 20 minutes of the drive, at which point I thought I was going to completely lose my mind.

I don't know what to do!!! Like I said I have tried different things - my latest thing is trying to acknowledge what he wants and reasoning with him. Before that, I would answer once, but then ignore subsequent requests. Before that, I just picked an answer ("I will not reach back there. Put him in your cupholder.") and repeated it every time he repeated himself. Helllllppppp

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mmfoote

· #2 · Apr 12, 2006

I'm sure you already do this, but just wanted to let you know you're not alone. My 2 yo does the exact same thing, repeating the same phrase over and over. It never works for me to respond to the phrase. The first thing I have to do is repeat it back to him exactly - then he knows that I understand what he is saying and we can move on from there. If I try to actually have a conversation, I will get the same phrase over and over. Its like he doesn't think I know what he is saying! (Which,lots of times,I don't

)

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nova22

Discussion Starter · #3 · Apr 12, 2006

BUMP to see if anyone has some advice for Melissa and me

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The4OfUs

· #4 · Apr 12, 2006

Quote:

Originally Posted by mmfoote
It never works for me to respond to the phrase. The first thing I have to do is repeat it back to him exactly -

:

It took me a while, but I finally figured out that if I say back to him EXACTLY what he said to me, he won't keep repeating it (as much)...like he'll say it, I'll say it, he'll say it, I'll say it, and we're done and can either talk about it more, or move on to the next thing...as opposed to him saying it 30 times while I try to engage him in explaining more. What a revelation, and a relief when I finally figured that out!!!

Give it a try - say EXACTLY what he's saying back to him....even a few times...and see if that can short circuit it so you can then move on, or try to solve whatever it is that needs solving.

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TEAK's Mom

· #5 · Apr 12, 2006

My dd1 used to do this, too. She'd even answer questions by repeating them. At the time, I learned to interpret. For example, if she answered, "do you want some juice?" when asked that question, it meant yes. If she ignored it, it meant no. She turned 4 last week and honestly hasn't done this in more than a year. She outgrew it all on her own. There's hope.

Tuesday

· #6 · Apr 12, 2006

2

Quote:

Originally Posted by donosmommy04

:

Give it a try - say EXACTLY what he's saying back to him....even a few times...and see if that can short circuit it so you can then move on, or try to solve whatever it is that needs solving.

This is the advice I was going to offer. My almost 3 year old DS is very intense

too and without fail if he says something, he wants it repeated back to him - and, by the correct person. For instance, if he comments, "I'm scared of the baby" (I'm 25 weeks pregnant and this is his latest comment about the baby), he doesn't want me to comfort - he wants me to say "Damon is scared of the baby". Or, if he says, "Look, Daddy, waterfall". He wants Daddy NOT Mommy to say, "Look, Damon, it's a waterfall". If it's the "wrong" person who speaks or not a repeat of what he said, he persists (and gets upset) until the "correct" answer is given. I've interpreted this behaviour as just a need to have his words and thoughts acknowledged? Hopefully these suggestions help!

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Quagmire

· #7 · Apr 12, 2006

2

Another repeat back the phrase proponent here! DD will just keep saying whatever it is until I answer her in kind. It's useful in a way - the times I don't understand her I have a few shots at trying

I think she can tell too... if I say "oh yeah?" she keeps at it until I am able to get it

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MamaPam

· #8 · Apr 12, 2006

My DD has started this too. A big part of this is their language development. They are learning how to communicate and construct sentences etc. I know it can be annoying and frustrating. It sounds like you are doing a good job handeling it. By talking with the child about what they are trying to say: "Mama, baby move?" "Yes, the baby is moving" or repeating what they are saying to you. It is just a phase and it will pass.

Pam

oceanbaby

· #9 · Apr 12, 2006

Quote:

Originally Posted by nova22
BUMP to see if anyone has some advice for Melissa and me

Repeat it back so he knows you understand. Answer/explain two or three times. Then go to your happy place - ommmmm ommmmm ommmmmm. Don't forget to breathe.

At least this is what I try to do.

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USAmma

· #10 · Apr 12, 2006

This is so normal!

We joke in our house that it hasn't really happened until Nitara talks about it at least 10 times!

loraxc

· #11 · Apr 12, 2006

Oh, good heavens, yes, mine does this. I'm glad to see other posting about it, because sometimes it just seems excessive to me. I agree that mine too sometimes wants it said back to her exactly.

geek_the_girl

· #12 · Apr 12, 2006

My 3.5 year old still does this..But not as much a before..
It drives me crazy!!

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PancakeGoddess

· #13 · Apr 13, 2006

22 month-old doing this now. head exploding.

help. piglet. me.

lioralourie

· #14 · Apr 17, 2006

nak my 26 mo old....YES does this LOTS!! thanks for the ideas, will happily implement!!!!!!!!!!!

Mothernature

· #15 · Apr 17, 2006

We're with you all the way. Ds is 27 months and even my 5 yr old gets annoyed with it (she was by and far worse at that age.) It is a part of language development, but it is one of the more nerve racking parts.

When I remember to make eye contact (very important) and repeat it back to him he usually smiles at being understood and then goes along his merry way. If I don't look at him he continues to repeat.

newmommy

· #16 · Apr 17, 2006

Another vote to repeat it back. Once I repeat it back to DS, he will move forward.

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annamama

· #17 · Apr 18, 2006

My ds is only 14 months so his vocabulary is limited but repetitive.
Look!
Look!
Look!
Look!

You get the idea... sometimes as little as 4,879 times an hour.
Look! LOL

annalenasmom

· #18 · Apr 18, 2006

2

"Mommy, I want rice krispies... Can I have rice krispies? When we get home, let's have rice krispies... rice krispies, rice krispies, rice krispies, rice krispies, rice krispies, rice krispies, rice krispies, rice krispies...." Yeah... This happened the other day, for about 2 hours in a car, I was about to go crazy.. It was just one of those days, and I couldn't do anything about it... Annalena is two and a half, and very opinionated, she does her own thing... haha

Anyways, with her, I'm just use to it... We'll see how my three month old turns out with a sister who talks so much. hee hee

Good advice though!!

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cinnamonamon

· #19 · Apr 18, 2006

4

...yea, we're right there too. I particularly like it when it's something he wants but can't have/do. Then he adds an oh-so-pleasant (not) "RIGHT NOW!" onto the end.

After the 39th time, I repeated my answer & told him I wasn't going to answer that question anymore...then I found my happy place...ommmmmmmmm

DH has not learned to find his happy place -- it wasn't a pretty car ride.

Seriously though; I'm going to try the repeating it back thing too.

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leewd

· #20 · Apr 19, 2006

DD (23 months) does the same thing. After I have repeated and repeated until I'm about to explode, I sing! Happy Burdaaa U!, ABC, Twankle Twankle 'tar, Jesus Loves You (never me, always "you"), anything! After I've sung it a few times, she joins in the subject has finally been "changed."

Good Luck!
--LEE

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