DSS is 13 and lives with his mother, spedning a month in the summer and part of every vacation here and formerly every other weekend until we moved and have to change the parenting plan as its too far to come for a weekend. Anyhow he is basically running wild where he is at, watching movies until 2 AM, been smoking pot and cigarettes and had 2 fiines this year for vanadlism, she medicates him for ADHD but he honestly has no signs in the summer when he is with us, and we even went to a specialist who does not think he has it and agreed that he was on inapropriate medication (dexatrim, zoloft and a sleeping pill) and every summer he is off medication (which I know is not good to go off and on). I think he must control the whole situation there and is left alone a lot so can eat when he wants, go out when he wants and do whatever he wants basically. In this State he can choose at 13 and does not want to live with us, he says his Dad is too strict. However when he is here he really seems to improve and is much calmer and less angry than when on his meds, which really seem to cause mood swings. We tried to take him to counselling and she would not co-operate and with-holds access to DH when he tries to do anything. Anyhow he is really doing great for the most part but he wants to control everything what we eat, his sister, me, his dad and the whole household and its really hard to deal with. Just not sure how to deal with it. Its so dis-heartening and we are not sure what to do in the long-term either.