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Discussion Starter #1
We are going to do a homebirth (mw to be detemined...), but we have decided to do dual care for a couple of medical related pregnancy reasons. I am confident in a hbmw's abilities, but I do need to be followed a bit for a few reasons.<br><br>
I am just wondering how/when I should bring up our homebirth plans with my CNM who I love, respect, and am a bit saddened that she will not be there to assist with this birth. But, we do not want another hospital birth, and she cannot attend in this state. We did have an amazing experience with her for DS birth, and its nothing against her, just location wise.<br><br>
I am hoping she will respect our wishes and continue our care, and be our back up...but, Im not assuming anything. I don't want to lie to her and then just birth at home and ruin our relationship.<br><br><br>
Thoughts?
 

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I am doing dual care right now for my labwork, but am using an ob practice. I am not telling them of my homebirth plans, since they'd probably fire me for it.
 

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Discussion Starter #3
so, what happens after the baby is born? will you need to find another ob/mw? are you ever going to tell them?
 

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Is your CNM supportive of homebirth? Or will she think that it is unsafe? I'd be very hesitant to tell her if you aren't sure of her stance. You could ask her about homebirth in general without implying that you've already decided on it, to sound her out first.<br><br>
For me it's clear cut: midwifery is illegal so we just won't make it to the hospital in time, unless we need to transfer.
 

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Discussion Starter #5
I'm assuming she is - she told me after DS's birth that I don't belong in a hospital.<br><br>
But, I think your right - I need to reassess her stance on HB.
 

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I told my CNM that I truly wish she could attend my 2nd child's birth in my home, but that since that is not a possibility, I intend to try birthing at home with a student midwife. I let her know how unkindly I was treated by the nurses in the hospital where she practices and she understood why I suspect I would be more tense laboring in that hospital as a result of the nurses' previous insensitivity.<br><br>
Essentially, I had to let my CNM know that I would employ her services only so much as I needed them and no more and that I would be the one to make informed decisions about how much help I would need. Beyond that, I just had to trust her to trust me with my own child's well-being--something I feel more CNM's and OB's would be likely to do if our cultures women would take more responsibility for their own prenatal care.
 

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<div>Originally Posted by <strong>AugustLia23</strong> <a href="/community/forum/post/7742226"><img alt="View Post" class="inlineimg" src="/community/img/forum/go_quote.gif" style="border:0px solid;"></a></div>
<div style="font-style:italic;">I am doing dual care right now for my labwork, but am using an ob practice. I am not telling them of my homebirth plans, since they'd probably fire me for it.</div>
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What are you planning on telling your ob when you don't ever show up at the hospital to deliver? We are in the same situation. We are seeing an ob who has no idea about the homebirth and we are also seeing a midwife that knows we are also seeing an ob.<br><br>
I was thinking we would just tell the ob office that things happened so fast that we delivered at home, but then I'm thinking they will ask why we didn't come in to be checked out and make sure mom and baby were fine.<br><br>
Just curious about what your plan of action is because I'm still unsure about ours!!
 

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If it was a cnm who was pro-homebirth I would just tell her that we loved her, but not the hospital experience. We are seeing an OB for dual care as well, mostly for the fact that I am rh- and due to the status of midwifery here it would be difficult if not impossible for her to get the shot after the birth if I happen to need it. I plan on telling the ob we just didn't make it at time and then wanted to recover at home. As I didn't make it last time until an 8/9 and had everything au naturale I figure he won't be surprised.
 

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We are doing dual care as well. Honestly, my DH wanted to continue to see the CNM's because that way if I needed to transfer, or was early then they would attend my hospital birth and we wouldn't just get some OB on call. Also to cut prenatal costs with my HBMW and I need someone to administer well woman gynecological care after my birthing (which my HBMW doesn't provide).<br><br>
What happened to me was I stopped going to the CNM's all together assuming they would not want to continue to see me after I chose the HB. Well I had a bout of PTL and ended up at the hospital. When the midwife arrived she asked me what had happened and why I had missed my last appt and why my records were being sent to another person (which I told them when I called). I was honest and she said she would be happy to continue to see me in conjunction with my HBMW. So I have continued to see the CNM's ever since. I think honesty is the best policy. When I gave my reasoning to the CNm's I told them it was because I felt birth would be a very natural event in my life and I would not need or want any interventions. I told them that I felt I would be fighting the hospital staff who was trained to MEDICALLY handle labor and delivery. Why fight someone when there are other applicable options? To me it is just how birth is handled in a hospital. They have to carry malpractice insurance and have hospital guidelines to follow. I didn't want to be worrying about "are they going to follow my birthplan" when I needed to be focused inward and on the task at hand. To which BTW my CNM's totally agreed.<br><br>
I wish you luck in telling your CNM! If she truly cares about you and likes you, she will understand.
 

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I have a backup OB that is required by law, but he is homebirth friendly as he provides backup for all of the area midwives. SO for me that part is no big deal. BUT had I not lucked up and my midwife not have such a great relationship with this doctor, I would have had to be secretive about my hb plans.<br><br>
In regards to what do you tell the ob when you never show up for a hospital birth and have the baby, DO you honestly think that the OB will even notice? I just wouldn't think they would. As for continued well-woman care with that OB, then I would just be honest. My well-woman care is with my midwife, so no worries in that respect either.
 
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