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my due date with Keena is tommorow, i know it won't be as hard as the anniversary of her death but i still feel it is going unnoiticed. i tried to mention it to someone and was told just be happy about your pregnancy now.. well DUH!!!! of course i am happy about being pregnant but that doesn't change the fact that i lost a child, that i should be holding a newborn right now....<br>
i am trying hard not to panic this pregnancy but have found the last few days hard emotionally, i have been so worried about this baby the last few days and i am sure it is because of the due date.<br>
i see my midwife in a couple of days and i am hoping to find the heartbeat before we go on vacation (i am 10 weeks) but am now worried if we don't i will be even more worried even though i know it is still early.<br><br>
sigh...<br><br>
tara
 

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oh, tara! hugs to you...<br><br>
isn't it so strange to be so happy about one baby, and so sad about others that are gone? we are complicated animals indeed...<br><br>
fwiw, i asked my midwife to check with a doppler at 11 weeks... knowing full well that there was only a small chance of hearing anything (not only is that really early, but i've got a big belly and it's hard to find anything, much less a lil bean's heart!). the universe decided to let me hear this baby, and it was THE sweetest sound.<br><br>
i reasoned that even if i didn't hear anything, at least i would have tried... if i didn't try, then i definitely WOULDN'T hear anything!<br><br>
try to relax and know that worrying can't change anything... relish the pregnancy symptoms you do have, if any... and try to talk to some other, more sympathetic, folks about keena...<br><br>
i hope you have a lovely vacation, and a peaceful heart once keena's due date passes. we'll miss you!<br><br>
warmly, katje
 

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You'll probably feel a bit better after keena's due date- I think most of us find that there's so much anxiety on the days leading up to the big milestones.<br><br>
For the life of me I can't figure out why people would tell you that you shouldn't mourn her just because you're pregnant? Bizarre.<br><br>
I wonder what they would say if you said to them: "Well, you have 2 sisters and if one of them died, would you want people to tell you to be happy that you have another sister?" People are so confused...<br><br><br>
~thinking of you and keena~
 

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Tara, how are you doing? I'm very sorry I missed this thread. I hope the due date wasn't too stressful and that someone recognized Keena'a due date.
 

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Tara,<br>
Wishing you lots of love these past few days. I hope that you are doing as OK...been thinking of you and Keena.<br><br>
Love to you Keena's mama....<br><br>
Jackie
 
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