Earthie_mama, everyone else and especially MEN!!!

590 Views 8 Replies 7 Participants Last post by MommytoB, Mar 31, 2006

colaga

Discussion Starter · Mar 30, 2006

earthie_mama,

Thank you so much for posting your story in "not so dear husband and circ"!!

Might there be any way of getting your dh to post about the way he came to the decision to not to circumcise his son and the way he feels about circumcision now?

I am just sick and tired of hearing circumcising mothers say things like:

"I've never met a single man who has said, "I wish I hadn't been circ'd."

"Where are all the outraged, circ'd men? Aren't they the alleged "victims?" The medical establishment in this country is overwhelmingly comprised of men. As obsessed with their penises as men are, you'd think there'd be more of an organized outcry from them. But no, in fact, I hear time and time again of men who want their sons to look like them and gladly circ their own sons. If it was so barbaric and traumatic, why would any man want that for their own son?"

"It seems to me that there are more men in support of circ than women. And they are the ones who best know penises, I suppose. Evidently, they don't feel too victimized by it or they wouldn't want to continue the tradition. To be honest, I don't think most of them really care whether or not they were circumcised."

"If it were so damaging, wouldn't they say no? I asked DH just now if he missed his foreskin and he rolled his eyes at me and said "Oh yeah, I cry about it."

I think we should start a thread written by men and keep it as a sticky for all to see; we need actual men answering questions such as:

Why do they think fathers want their sons to be circumcised, how do they feel about their parents circumcising them, have they spoken to their parents about circumcision and if not, why not?
Are they parents themselves? Did they circumcise their son and how do they feel about it? Was their son's circumcision botched? How do they feel about it now?
Was their own circumcision botched, did they even realize it? Did circumcision affect their sex life and how?
Do they plan to restore, have they restored, how long did it take, what affect restoration had on them emotionally and mentally. How has restoration changed their sex lives?
Are they vocal about the need for male circumcision to stop and if not why not?

What does everybody else think? Could some of us get our husbands to write their stories?

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Bm31

· #2 · Mar 30, 2006

My circ was botched and I hated it for years but, amazingly enough, I STILL accepted it as the way things had to be. The amount of cultural brainwashing and pressure to keep your mouth shut is incredible. I think it's much easier for men who's circ's go "right" to keep promoting it, but they don't really know any different. Even when they have sons who get botched circ's, it's astounding how many parents still continue to do it to future sons and downplay the damages. I guess it's easier than admitting they did something wrong.

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boingo82

· #3 · Mar 30, 2006

I will ask, but he is not much of a forum guy, and this probably would be his least favorite subject to forum about.

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jessjgh1

· #4 · Mar 30, 2006

If you really want a sticky for this, can the title be edited later to something that will catch more people's attention? I wasn't really going to look at it because I'm not Earthiemama, for example

I know titles can't be modified by creater, but can moderator edit when creating a 'sticky'?

BTW, I love the idea of a sticky for this. Just wish my dh would someday participate. I can think of several intact men that might want to add their horror at circ. procedure and I may pass this on to them.

Jessica

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colaga

Discussion Starter · #5 · Mar 30, 2006

I never meant for this thread to be the thread I am hoping we could start. Maybe Frank could be the first one to post?

I realize it may be a painful subject and a subject they probably would rather avoid to dwell upon, or try to analyze, but I am just hoping that men could try and go into greater detail when writing their testimonies, it is very important that women hear this.

We need to include the questions in the thread, I suppose if some men would rather not answer some of them that would be entirely up to them.

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gridley13

· #6 · Mar 30, 2006

I think it would be a great idea. If the questions were clear cut... I am sure my dh would be happy to contribute. He was on the fence during both pregnancies but is now becoming quite the intactivist!

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colaga

Discussion Starter · #7 · Mar 30, 2006

Can everyone help me formulate the questions and the introduction to the thread, please? English is not my first language and sometimes I feel unsure about my grammar and my writing style.

Everybody, are there some other questions you would like to add?

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gypsy4360

· #8 · Mar 30, 2006

I knew from the minute I became pregnant the first time, if I had a son I would not and could not circ. My husband who was, had no problem with this at all. I just don't feel I have the right to do this to my child. What really gets me, is that in other countries where girls are circ'd, out country has waged a battle against this. They think it is awful and inhumane. I agree, but what about our sons!!!
I hope that you can find men who will voice an opinion on this. But like the one gentleman said, men are just taught that it is the norm. Men aren't supposed to complain about such things. They aren't really even supposed to talk about it. Our society has done this to them.
I ask woman who don't like the fact that I didn't circ, if they would cut off a childs finger if it was the norm. They each look appauled and say "NO". I ask you, what is the difference.
A good sight with good info is nocirc.org.

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MommytoB

· #9 · Mar 31, 2006

I think men are more accepting the fact skin w/ no purpose, dead skin, or just skin where did this above thinkin come into the skin talk ?

With me I have been with a intact male and I grew up all my life with circ males so I can say I have seen what circ adult males are missing.

I can say now I have a intact son I know what circ kids are missing which is so odd to see exposed glans w/ nothing covering it up.

I can say I have seen the difference between intact kids and intact adults

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