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Discussion Starter · #1 ·
Hi all,<br><br>
I am a PT WOHM to two kids, ds is almost 4 and dd is almost 3 months. I am new to this forum, but am looking for advice to ease the transition for ds about me being away from him. It was always hard for him to have me go to work. If I work a bunch of days in a row, it gets easier by the day, but sometimes I have a week or so off and ds always has a really hard time with me going back to work. Now I have had 3 months off (maternity leave) and am going back in less than two weeks. I am worried about both kids now. Dd is WAY too young to be left, and ds is going to have a hard time with me leaving.<br><br>
Just today, I ran to the video store to return a video. When I left, Ds was standing in the yard screaming at the top of his lungs, "Don't go Mama!!!" and crying hysterically. <sigh> Today, I could have brought him with me, but when I go to work, I have to go. How can I help ease him back into this? He doesn't go to daycare, his dad and I work opposite shifts so that we can always have one of us home. The only thing I can think of is for me to start going out more often by myself. I have been wanting to get back into working out, so I could start doing that. It just seems like having the upset now, rather than later, though. I can't really think of anyway to avoid the problem. Any suggestions?<br><br>
TIA<br><br>
PS I have to work for the money and medical benefits, so don't suggest I quit my job. And, I was actually *lucky* to get three months off and still get my job back. I didn't qualify for FMLA, and just told my company that I was going to take 12 weeks whether or not they approved it. So, taking longer off is not an option, either...
 

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The thing that works the best for us is to have something for DD to look forward to or to have her involved in something else while I leave. For example, dcp had a rock painting kit sitting out on her kitchen table the other morning. DD got busy painting rocks and even painted one for me to take to work with me.<br><br>
It doesn't always work though, that's for sure. And sometimes I feel a bit like a circus performer trying to find exciting things to occupy her for DH or DCP so I can go. It really helps if the person she is staying with gets involved and helps transfer her attachment to them. DCP will scoop her up and give her big hugs and offer to read to her or do something else fun. Lately she's been wanting to watch Clifford or Curious George ...<br><br>
I wouldn't increase the time you are away from your son to try and get him ready. If anything, I'd make a special effort to do things *with* him. Let him know that you want to spend some quality time with him. Maybe even spend snippets together just the two of you. When you go back, plan with him some things you can do together during your time off. Talk with him and find out what he's thinking and maybe get his suggestions.<br><br>
DD likes to talk about how we are always together at heart and how I will always come home and how she's never alone. That kind of thing. She also likes to hear from DCP how she wants her mom too.<br><br>
I feel your pain. This working thing is so tough to do sometimes. Cyber hugs.<br><br>
Jane
 

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Discussion Starter · #3 ·
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<div>Originally Posted by <strong>janethemom</strong> <a href="/community/forum/post/8248426"><img alt="View Post" class="inlineimg" src="/community/img/forum/go_quote.gif" style="border:0px solid;"></a></div>
<div style="font-style:italic;">The thing that works the best for us is to have something for DD to look forward to or to have her involved in something else while I leave. For example, dcp had a rock painting kit sitting out on her kitchen table the other morning. DD got busy painting rocks and even painted one for me to take to work with me.</div>
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Thanks for the reply (and the hugs). I do know that getting him involved in something does help. MIL (his only babysitter) does a great job with that on the times he has stayed with her. I will have to talk with dh about it. He isn't so good at stuff like that and is feeling pretty overwhelmed at the thought of being alone with both kids. MIL did say that ds could come up to spend the night at her house the first night I go back to ease the transition (he loves spending the night there)...<br><br>
Thanks... It sucks having to leave my kids!!!
 
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