[witch's mom]

My 9-year-old DD eats the following foods and nothing else:

sourdough bread
Tillamood cheddar cheese
deli turkey
some meats, including hamburgers
hot dogs
Annie's mac and cheese
white tortillas
oyster crackers
Cheez-Its or cheddar parmesan crackers
french fries
kids vitamins from Trader Joe's

She used to eat a few other things, but she has gradually phased them out. She gets pickier and pickier, often refusing something because it's too crispy or too slimy or too soft. She carefully examines a lot of things before she puts them in her mouth.

When we've asked her to try new things, she refuses. If we push her to do it, she sits and cries (and refuses).

She is on the brink of puberty, and I'm very worried about what we're doing to her by allowing her to only eat white flour and overprocessed protein. I have told her that we'll need to talk to the pediatrician about this, because I truly believe we need some help. But I'm not sure if that's the right kind of help.

I've probably ignored this problem for too long, just because I've not wanted to create any food issues for her. But my gut feeling is that something needs to change or she'll be doing herself real damage. So far, after an ear-infection-loaded preschoolhood, she's very healthy.

Any insight or advice? I'm cross-posting in preteens.

 

[fek&fuzz]

Don't make a big deal out of food. That will lead to so many more problems. Present the food on the table for everyone, let her take what she wants and don't pay any mind to what she doesn't eat. She isn't eating when you prod her anyway, so don't do it.

If your concern is nutrition, there are a few things you can do.

Make the Annie's mac and cheese with whole wheat pasta.

Will she eat homemade french fries? You can make them yourself and bake them in the oven, cut up a few sweet potatoes, too, they get nice and sweet and crunchy.

If you are concerned about the Cheez-its, and oyster crackers, stop buying them. Kashi makes some good crackers, have those in the cupboard instead.

If she'll eat spagetti in sauce, blend up some cooked veggies to add to the sauce: carrots, spinach, etc. Veggie nutrition without the obvious veggie feel.

You can also add veggies to the hamburgers: blend up spinach or cooked carrots and add to the ground meat. You can buy healthy hot dogs, and non-processed deli turkey.

Can you make the sourdough bread and use 1/2 white and 1/2 whole wheat?

Get her involved in the cooking, in a low key way so she can associate food with better feelings than being in tears. If she's allowed to pick out recipes, she might start to find food she likes.

And lastly, don't make a big deal out of eating. Even going to the pediatrician is too much, I think. And using the threat of the doctor to make her eat is just going to make her resent you and the doctor. She's not going to starve to death on those foods, and if she's having vitamins she should be ok for a while on them.

Back off of mentioning what she's eating or not eating for a while. A long while. You are much more likely to drive her to a serious eating disorder if you continue to pressure her into eating.

 

[dlm194]

That's actually a lot compared to what my 10 year old cousin eats. My cousin seriously only eats peanut butter sandwiches. She just doesn't like anything else. My aunt took her to the doctor for a blood test and she actually came out normal.

I know that's not much help but I wanted to let you know she's not the only one!

 

[VikingKvinna]

ITA with fek&fuzz. As someone who has struggled with eating disorders for her whole life, and who is still way too concerned with food (although mostly, these days, able to channel this concern into relatively healthy habits -- ie., cooking as a hobby instead of eating/not eating as an obsession), I agree that making a big deal of out the food your DD chooses is a mistake. Continue to offer a variety of healthful foods to the whole family, and if there are foods in your cupboards you don't want her to have, take them out of your cupboards. That simple.

That said, eating disorders are usually/often not about the food at all. FOr me, and for many, they are about control -- food/excercise are sometimes the one area of her life that a young girl can control. So she does. In other words, what might be underlying this? Is anything going on in her life that might make her feel out-of-control or helpless? That's what I'd try to address, if you can, rather than the "symptom" of the food. You say you're not sure that a pediatrician is the "right kind of help" and I think you might be onto something there -- would you (and she) consider counseling? That might well not be warranted in this case, and if so, I apologize. Maybe I'm glomming onto your words and making more out of them than is appropriate. You could talk to your pediatrician privately to ask about the health aspects of eating this limited diet, whatever you do. But I wonder if this is your DD's way of asking you to pay very close attention to her -- not to her eating habits, but to her. KWIM?

HTH! It must be very hard to watch this as a mama. It'll also be hard, I bet, to watch her eat without doing the Italian-grandma-"mangia, mangia!" thing and trying to interfere.

But I think that's the best course of action.

 

[witch's mom]

After I gasped and exclaimed when I saw her eating her sixth piece of sourdough toast in the first half of the day yesterday, I posted here (in part to keep myself from saying too much to her, in part to get some opinions). Then I went to her and asked her if she would be willing to try some new things. I've asked the question lots of times over the years--never with much pressure--and every time she has said cheerfully, "No." Yesterday, though, she said maybe. I apologized to her for gasping and exclaiming about the sourdough toast and said, "It just worries me that you're not getting enough nutrition to grow properly." She shrugged and said, "I just don't like anything else."

I believe the issue is just that: her pickiness. This is a kid who was difficult to feed as a baby--was a fussy nurser until she caught on, then was particular about anything OTHER than breast milk, then was reluctant to try anything beyond rice cereal . . . on and on. She doesn't accept food change easily, and textures are a huge factor.

So we talked yesterday about nutrition. Not me lecturing, but with a book and a little bit of Internet research and a lot of give and take in the conversation. I told her about how she was as a baby, and how it always took a long time of me popping something in her mouth before she'd warm up to it. I told her that when she was little, she LOVED wheat bread--which is true--and that I wished I'd never let her get so attached to sourdough because wheat is actually better. She said maybe she could retrain her taste buds to like it again and said she'd like to try her turkey sandwich on wheat at school the next day. And she said she would try five new foods yesterday: dried fruit, yogurt, whole grain crackers, applesauce and roasted potatoes. And by dinnertime, she had tried and was eager to eat more of everything except the applesauce, which she said was "too grainy." She ate lots of dried cranberries (the no sugar ones) and roasted potatoes. The yogurt she liked, but was a little put off by little chunks of blueberries. This morning she asked me to make her a whole wheat bagel for breakfast, and she ate the whole thing (one of those mini-bagels from Trader Joe's).

I quit buying oyster crackers and Cheez-Its a long time ago, except when we were on vacation last week, when I was horrified at how many junky crackers she ate. (Although in her defense, I was pretty horrified at what ALL of us were eating!) I don't buy hot dogs on any regular basis, either--we had them on vacation because they were easy and quick to grill. I'm going to not buy sourdough bread for awhile, either, to give her a chance to give some other things a chance.

She needs to see the pediatrician anyway--she gets checked for scoliosis every few months because of family history--so I'll mention it then, but not in any sort of heavy format. Might just ask if there's a vitamin they can recommend for a child who eats practically no fruits and vegetables.

 

[fek&fuzz]

Yay, it sounds like things are getting better, and I'm glad she interested in being involved. It probably helped that you talked about when she was little, kids are usually interested in that sort of thing.

 

[PikkuMyy]

I replied on your other thread.

 

[rainbowmum]

Quote:

Originally Posted by witch's mom I believe the issue is just that: her pickiness. This is a kid who was difficult to feed as a baby--was a fussy nurser until she caught on, then was particular about anything OTHER than breast milk, then was reluctant to try anything beyond rice cereal . . . on and on. She doesn't accept food change easily, and textures are a huge factor.

Wow, you could be talking about my 7 yr old here. Her diet is similar to your dd. I have stressed and thought of food reward charts but to me that doens't solve the problem. Yes she may eat more...but because I reward her if she does (which I don't..I mean if I used that method) she would be eating because someone told her too. I have seen a UK programmes where kids living on yoghurt have been "encouraged" to eat using this reward method and witholding the things they do eat used as a reward but I couldn't do it. In all these cases things got bad when the parents got more stressed - though I reckon that is a catch 22 situation.
Anyway wanted to empathise and say a lot of kids grow older and do try new things. For my dd I try to use enriched foods that she will eat : ketchup, soya milk and vit tablets. Not perfect but although she is real skinny, she is very healthy and has loads of energy so I try and not worry too much, though don't always succeed with that.