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Discussion Starter · #1 ·
I just found out on Monday that I had an ectopic pregnancy. Had a d&c on Tuesday and also a shot of methotrexate. Now I am playing the waiting game, which is SO hard. Looking for other mamas to commisserate with me while I wait.<br><br>
In hindsight, this pregnancy just seemed different from the start. I got a faint positive a little over 3 weeks ago and of course I was overjoyed. I started spotting a couple days later--first pink, then red, then brown. I didn't spot much, but enough to alarm me. Went to the OB and had an ultrasound where they found nothing. They figured I was probably just not far enough along at that point. According to my LMP, I should have been about 6 1/2 weeks along, but you never know with ovulation and stuff. So they checked my hcg that day and 2 days later. 180 to 549--that was a great jump! I felt so relieved to know that it was more than doubling like it was supposed to be. They scheduled me for another US 2 weeks later (which was this past Monday) just to check everything. Again, they saw nothing. Drew blood and my hcg was 6000. Too high to see nothing. I was spotting a bit here and there and was also having some strange mild cramping--twinge-like feelings. It all makes sense in hindsight, although I desperately wanted this to be a normal pregnancy. I was finally going to have a summer baby!<br><br>
I had a d&c on Tuesday--they found no fetal matter so they determined that it was, in fact an ectopic. They also gave me the metho that night as well. I have a blood draw tomorrow (which they said will probably be higher) and then the one that will tell us if it's working or not on Tuesday. This waiting stuff feels like an eternity! I'm so afraid of rupturing while waiting. The only thing I can take solace in is that they didn't see anything in my tubes on US, so I'm thinking that I am less likely to rupture if it wasn't big enough to detect. Hoping I'm right...<br><br>
Anyway...anyone have any words of advice or comfort while I wait. Thanks mamas! :*)
 

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<img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/hug.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="hug"><br><br>
Been there, mama, and it hurts in a lot of ways. I don't want to say I know, but I'm *hoping* that, if you weren't alerted by the excruciating pain, then maybe you're not at risk of rupture?<br><br>
My story was similar, with the faint positive but the pg feeling different. I didn't spot at all and just woke up one morning in PAIN! It had subsided by the time I got, with my mom, to the clinic. I had the hcg testing and the U/S and the metho.<br><br>
For me, the worst part was having to quit nursing my boy--just when that would have offered ME comfort in a tough, tough time.<br><br>
Dh and I cried a lot, and so did ds (for different reasons). We even fought at times over the whole thing. It took some grief.<br><br>
For me, there was also pain with the metho. A hot bath helped, and it also got me alone for a while. I was able to ID the fetal tissue when it came, which I think was helpful.<br><br>
Three months later I got pg with my little boss-woman, who is now almost a year old!<br><br>
Grieve, mama, and then have hope!
 

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Discussion Starter · #3 ·
Thanks so much mama! :*) It certainly helps to hear others' stories. I haven't had excruciating pain at all--just mild cramping, which I have been having off and on for a couple of weeks.<br><br>
I'm so sorry you had to quit nursing! And not by your choice! :*( My ds weaned about a month and a half ago (although he asks every now and again but even at this point, I'd have nothing to offer anyway) so we're fortunate in that. But it does make me sad to know that even if I did want to nurse him when he asked, I wouldn't be able to. How old was your ds at the time?<br><br>
I was so happy to be pg again. It's so heartwrenching to have it all taken away in a day. On Monday morning we woke up thinking we were going to the OB's office to see a heartbeat. I took my almost 9 year old ds and instead of seeing it, I had to explain to him why I was crying. *sigh*
 

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i am so sorry mama.<br>
i had two ectopics a few years ago between ds2 and ds3. the first time they never saw anything but knew IT was there and gave me methotrexate. i bled for about two months and felt really lousy. i hope you take it better. they told me to pump and dump for my nine month old for a week, but as a LLL leader I went straight to the best sourse I knew, the LC who wrote the Breastfeeding Answer Book, who was an acquaintance. she helped me make the decision to wean for just three days. boy did my child hate me when he needed formula. if only i had known and stocked up breastmilk int he freezer. i thought mine was a period and i kept getting pregnancy symptoms and the bleeding would stop and start. the stinkiest thing is that six months later it happened again, so this time i opted for surgery. they ended up taking out the tube and one ovary (with a five centimeter cystic mass). i went on to have a healthy baby (with whom i became pregnant six months after the 1st ectopic and one year after methotrexate-- the earliest they recommend getting pregnant) and i am about to have my fourth baby too.<br><br>
i will be thinking of you.
 

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My ectopic was completely different, as they had to remove the pregnancy surgically, and I never needed the methotrexate, but I did want to offer two things:<br><br>
1. My healthy pregnancy was conceived six months later<br>
2. My dd weaned herself over a year ago, but I recently noticed a let-down feeling, and when I hand expressed, I was able to get some milk (a whole lot more than I would have expected after 14-15 months of nothing!) so you may be able to offer your ds milk after all!<br><br>
I am so sorry for your loss, and hope that you are able to find some comfort IRL.<br><br>
Christina
 

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Discussion Starter · #6 ·
Thanks mamas! :*)<br><br>
I didn't really want to start nursing ds again anyway, as it was nice to finally be weaned, but for some reason, there's something about knowing that you just can't breastfeed, rather than saying no just because, kwim?
 

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My ds was 20 mo, so it wasn't the end of the world, it was just one more thing...and my ob told me to wait 3 months after the metho, so it seems (once again) that varying info is given with regard to TTC afterward. I didn't own a pump, and had tried to pump with a borrowed pump in style, and got nothing out at all. So I weaned, and ds and I were a crying mess on the couch for a few days.
 

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i think part of the discrepancy with the waiting periods is that methotrexate is more commonly a chemo drug and taken in larger doses. medical professionals are afraid to tell us it is okay to breastfeed a baby. with one shot in the butt, at the dose they give for ectopics, it seems even very conservatively it is out of your system in a few days. the half life, according to dr hale's book "medications and mother's milk" is something like 12 hours if i remember correctly, and it passes through the milk in such a way that by my calculations that three days was a conservative guess at when it would be safe. i did not have much luck pumping and hated throwing it away. my nine-month -old was really unhappy. so when it happened for the second time when he was fifteen months old, i said no to the methotrexate. plus, the bleeding for months drained me physically.<br><br><br>
i hope when your ob said wait three months s/he did not mean to CONCEIVE. everything i have read says wait ONE YEAR. i got pregnant at exactly one year kind of unintentionally and was even a little nervouse, although ds3 is fine.<br><br>
i think 20 months of breastfeeding is great and a medical reason to wean is totally acceptable. it is sad that we get misinformation and limited choices sometimes but it is always easier in hindsight. had your child been younger it might have been worth the fight, but 20 months of nursing is a significant accomplishment in this culture.
 

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Discussion Starter · #9 ·
so you're supposed to wait a YEAR to conceive?! Is that because of the EP or the methotrexate?
 

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all the warnings i heard about the methotrexate were that if you conceive before one year you could have a really messed up kid. scary. i was glad my second ectopic was ectopic out of fear that i would have had an unhealthy child since it had only been six months. i am surprised someone would not have mentioned not to get pregnant right away. it seems at least as risky as the breastfeeding issue for the docs not to say.
 

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i just googled methotrexate and conception and it seemed like several places were saying three months and one ob mentioned it is probably out of your system within 12 days. i'd probably give my body more time if possible....i'd always read one year, but my ectopics were in January 2001 and June 2001.
 

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Discussion Starter · #12 ·
just a little update...on Sunday I had severe cramping and ended up in the ER with low blood pressure. Had emergency surgery to remove the ectopic...my fallopian tube didn't burst, but had torn and I was bleeding internally. *sigh*
 

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I am sorry that things went that far and that you are now sufferring from the pain of surgery along with the pain of your loss. I hope that you are able to take care of yourself and have some IRL help. I just wanted to send you some <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/hug.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="hug">s and well wishes.<br><br>
Christina
 

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Discussion Starter · #14 ·
Thanks Christina. :*)<br><br>
My dh has been amazing. Unfortunately, he did go back to work yesterday after being off for 2 weeks between Thanksgiving and me (because I wasn't supposed to be alone while being treated with the methotrexate in case I ruptured--go figure!). I'm doing ok though...I homeschool my 9 yo so he's been able to help out a bit.
 

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i'm so sorry for your experience mama....<br><br>
you would think if the metho had such a strong possibility of not working and allowing and/or contributing to a rupture that they would not bother, right?<br><br>
i know the surgery stinks but at least you know after that it worked...i hate to hear words like "internal bleeding" associated with any mama<br><br>
take care
 

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Discussion Starter · #16 ·
thanks mama. Actually, what I found out that what happened is that the metho WAS working--when the tissue pulled away from the wall of the tube, that's when I tore. I'm just one of the unlucky ones that it happened to.<br><br>
I'm feeling almost back up to snuff now. It's amazing how fast a body can repair itself.
 
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