[homemademom]

Last time I had a baby, I was going from girls to a boy, so that would have been a good time for a shower. Well, the people closest to me basically dissed me and didn't give me one, even though I know they discussed it among themselves. I was pretty disappointed and felt embarrassed, as if I was asking (wanting) something very wrong. Anyway, now I'm having a boy after another boy, and even though we got rid of absolutely everything (we thought we were done), I'm embarrassed that two of my friends want to throw me a shower (not the same friends as before). I feel like everyone will wonder why we're doing it and they'll feel like I'm just being greedy. I honestly need all the baby stuff, but we can afford it so I don't need gifts. So, can you give me some shower alternatives? I'd love to just hang out and do something fun or relaxing with friends. Something celebratory without all the baby gifts. And it would have to accommodate a wide range of people/personalities/ages. Any ideas?

 

[ComplexOphelia]

<p>How about doing a "Blessingway" (depending on how crunchy your friends are) and not even call it a baby shower?  I think of those as just a wonderful time to get together, share some love, and eat some yummy potlucked food.  You could put, "In lieu of traditional baby gifts, please bring a dish to pass or for our freezer after baby #5 arrives!" (or similar) on the invites.  We're also thinking of starting a "housekeeper fund" for people who want to give gifts, because we are good on stuff (boy to boy, and I hadn't thrown anything away yet) - donations for us to have a housekeeper come by every couple weeks after the baby is born.</p>

 

[Jenne]

<p>We had a blessing and brunch on Saturday.  It was religious because we are but it wouldn't have to be.  The women all wrote a blessing, scripture, something funny on the back of a long 1 inch wide piece of paper which the hostess and another friend of mine are looping together to form a paper chain.  1 for each day left until baby girl's due date.    Then we had a prayer time.  Next the hostess had written out very specific "We pray that Jenne's cervix will dilate fully and completely, melting away, allowing the baby to move lower into her pelvis," and "We pray the Jenne's breast will be blessed.  That breastfeeding would be a comfortable, easy, loving time for BabyGirl and Jenne.  That those around her would support her," and so on.  After each woman read her part, she lit a candle.  I was then given the candles to light when I need a blessing or during the birth.  Then they laid hands on me and prayed again.  It was just lovely! </p>
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<p>Oh, one of the coolest things was that my Gramma who is 89 Skyped in and participated even though she was hundreds of miles away and unable to make it.  So, if you have friends and family afar who would like to bless you that is an easy, free way for them to participate as well. </p>
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<p>This was hosted at a local brunch restaurant so that it would be easy on everyone but a potluck would work too.  After we ate I did open gifts although the invitation didn't say it was a shower or that I was registered anywhere.  But this is our first so that may have factored into that line of thinking. </p>
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<p>Not that I get a vote :lol but I say let your friends shower you with this love!  That's what it is really about, right?  They want to demonstrate the warm, kind, loving feelings they have for you and this new blessing coming to all your lives.  I say go for it!  But the embarassment in the closet and embrace the love!   </p>
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<p>Jenne</p>

 

[ashleybrook]

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<p>Not that I get a vote :lol but I say let your friends shower you with this love!  That's what it is really about, right?  They want to demonstrate the warm, kind, loving feelings they have for you and this new blessing coming to all your lives.  I say go for it!  But the embarassment in the closet and embrace the love!   </p>
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<p>Jenne</p>
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<p><br>
i second that! but if you can't, i like the idea of the brunch that jenne had, or the blessingway. in all honesty, if people want to give, it's an honor to receive! enjoy that you've chosen much more giving/gracious friends since the last pregnancy! you go girl!</p>
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<p>ashley</p>

 

[understars]

<p>My vote would be for a blessingway. The months leading up to birth are not a time for stress so if a shower stresses you, just say no.</p>
<p>For my blessingway, we are going to have tea and goodies, listen to music and help compile a birth playlist, everyone is going to write a special wish or little blessing on a card that will go in a birth box that we will not open until labor has begun (for a little emotional boost going into labor), we are going to do a belly cast, foot massages for mama and make a birth necklace (every one will bring a bead for the necklace and we will make it together). I'm actually really excited because it's not about gifts or anything like that, it is about saying "you are ready for this mama, here are some gestures to help you through the journey of birth, we are all here to support you!".</p>
<p>You can tailor your own blessingway to be what you need for that confidence boost before labor. Do something fun (like a belly cast) and something relaxing (like a massage). In the end, you need to do what will give you a positive feeling because you don't need or deserve stress or embarrassment.</p>

 

[aidenn]

<p>A full-on mother blessing ceremony is too crunchy for me, but we are asking friends and family far and wide to select a bead that strikes their fancy and send the bead, along with a small note detailing their wish or thought for the birth and new baby.  We're stringing the beads on a necklace and I'm going to have it with me while in labor.</p>
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<p>We're going from girl-girl with this one, so I don't have much more advice!</p>